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Jena and Aeryn talk... John; Jena makes John an offer
It was late in the ship's sleep cycle; a light sleeper by training, I'd been unable to rest. We were due at the next commerce planet in the early arns of the next solar day -- this time, they'd send me down alone in the merchant's transport, not risking a landing themselves. My time on Moya was drawing to a close. Much to the relief of practically everyone on board.
Including myself, to be honest. Something had changed, down on Chilbrea, something that I couldn't quite identify. Crichton was still reserved; although I'd coaxed a smile out of him by complimenting him on how quickly he'd picked up what I'd taught him about security codes, and granting his request to teach him more. Technically, an act of disloyalty, but I judged the risk posed by arming one human with basic infiltration techniques to be minor compared to the goal I'd been set -- gaining his confidence and trust. So I'd gained back some ground, but I've made a career out of reading the smallest signs to determine a situation, and I was sure of only one thing -- that it was time to leave.
I had come to the hangar bay as part of a general exploration of the ship; of course, I would remember where things were, the location of the Pilot's den, the command center, the crew's quarters. My nighttime ramblings were done with my ever-present escort of DRDs; I accepted their presence without complaint, even summoning them playfully when I was ready to leave my quarters. I knew that the Pilot would be monitoring my movements through their eyes, reporting everything I did to D'Argo, presently on command.
For a brief moment, I had toyed with the idea of making my way to Crichton's quarters, slipping into bed with him -- just for the fun of seeing what sort of shipwide emergency would call the entire crew to alert if I did so. It had finally fallen into place, and I was caught between annoyance and laughter. The situation was ludicrous. From the beginning, I now realized, they had acted in a coordinated effort to keep at least one body between myself and the human at all times. I wondered what they imagined might happen if they didn't? That I would stab him? Poison him? Frell him? I didn't know whether to be amused or flattered that they considered my mere proximity that dangerous.
I'd meant to pass by the hangar bay, but had stopped when Crichton's module caught my eye from the corridor. It looked so small, so insignificant. And yet, looks were deceiving -- certainly I knew that better than anyone. For all of its unassuming appearance, this module and its pilot might yet tip the balance of power. No, the module wasn't insignificant -- far, far from it.
As I stepped into the cavernous chamber, I sensed movement, and drew back into the doorway.
Aeryn Sun was there before me. The hangar bay was half shrouded in darkness, making it simple for me to stand, unobserved, and watch her.
She was dressed informally, in a pair of loose trousers and a sleeveless shirt; her hair was down, and her feet were bare. She was simply standing at the nose of the strange craft, her hands running slowly, almost unconsciously, across the surface of the module. I felt the strangest impulse to turn around and leave as silently as I had arrived, as if this was an intrusion that would benefit me nothing. There was something about the sight of her, alone in the dark with his ship, that made me feel hollow.
I took a step backward, and like a first-year trainee, tripped over one of the DRDs, who issued a squeal of protest. Aeryn Sun turned, all deadly grace and unshakable calm. I gave her an apologetic half-smile.
"I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just-"
"Just what?" she interrupted. Her eyes were bored, her tone was disinterested. As if I didn't matter. I felt a surge of annoyance. Fine. I had been going to leave. But if she wanted to be difficult... I was up for a bit of entertainment.
"Looking for someone."
"Oh." She glanced at the module, back at me. "You could quite easily find him in his bed."
I hadn't expected that response. "A good suggestion. But... I was rather expecting to find him awake. I noticed he doesn't sleep very well. I don't know whether that's his normal pattern or not."
Something flickered in her eyes, and I decided to pursue it. "He doesn't eat very well, either."
She turned away. "Do you have a point to make?"
"Only that he doesn't seem very happy."
She didn't move. "No, I imagine he doesn't."
"Aeryn..." I made my voice hesitant, my words awkward. "I know what... what you must think of me. But the truth is... flirtation is one thing, but I don't want to step out of line. If you and John-"
She turned to face me. "That's none of your concern."
"I'll be honest with you. I find John," I paused before finding the right word, "interesting." More than a flicker, now. A wince. "If he is spoken for, I'll respect that. But if he isn't, I-"
"Crichton does enough speaking for himself," she answered shortly. "You should talk to *him* if you find him interesting."
I nodded, as if I understood, and smiled. "I had thought... I'm pleased to know that I was wrong." I turned as if to go, then hesitated, and turned back. "Actually, Aeryn, I have to admire your forbearance. To be in such close quarters for so long and not-"
She smiled, with a remarkable lack of amusement. "I'm stronger than I look."
"So it would seem," I smiled. "Still, the effect is a strong one, and difficult to resist."
She frowned. "I've been on ships with mixed crews before."
"No, no..." I interrupted, then tilted my head in an expression of surprise. "You mean -- you don't know?"
"Know what?" She was impatient. I had to get this out quickly.
I sighed. "Haven't you ever wondered about the line of women who are ready to throw away everything they have for the sake of one lost human? You, Gilina..." I smiled at her expression. "Even Katralla -- as set as she was on having Tyno, by the time of the wedding she was whispering in John's ear like a lover. And me. A parade of Sebacean women who find John Crichton so appealing that we discard our lives, everything we've known, for him. Haven't you ever wondered why?"
Her expression was unreadable. "I suppose you're going to tell me."
I nodded, allowed a blush. "It's chemical. A unique pheromone that acts in a most... potent way on Sebacean women. I don't know whether it's John individually, or humans as a species -- but I would very much enjoy running *those* particular tests."
"You're inventing this." Her voice was tense. She still hadn't moved.
"Haven't you noticed? When you're close to him, the scent of his skin, like... like chil'net berries?" I registered the slightest inhalation, as if she were catching a phantom scent. "He was tested a hundred times over on the Royal Planet. Biological, psychological, chemical -- after he left, I accessed those files, trying to understand what had happened to me. Why I had lost control, and offered him... everything. It's all hormonal reactions, Aeryn. It's not real."
She simply looked at me for a long moment. Frell, she was impossible to read. I imagined she was considering whether or not to believe me -- wondering whether I was telling the truth, or simply inventing a story to instill doubts, to further separate her and Crichton.
Let her wonder.
"If this is true," she said, finally, "why would you still want him? Knowing that everything that you experienced would be a lie, a trick?"
I smiled, and shrugged. "I know all about intoxicants, and their uses. This is simply one of the more... *pleasurable* drugs. The key to enjoying a drug is not to let it control you, not to let it ruin your life. And I won't. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it recreationally."
"Recreationally," she repeated. There was something in her eyes, something dark, heavy. "You said you offered Crichton everything?" She considered. "The compatibility test?"
I didn't answer, letting my silence speak for me. Her eyes were bright, caught between anger and sorrow and something that looked like shame. "You and he -- you took the test?"
The first thing you learn in my business is to keep lies simple. Deter, deflect, misdirect. Lie when necessary, or when there's no chance of being caught, because when caught in a lie, you have no claim to misinterpretation. I'd indulged myself too much already. As much as my pride wanted me to lie, and as much as my mind told me that the odds were in my favor, that she would never ask him, my training won out. All it would take would be for this one lie to be known, and all my careful groundwork would be for nothing.
"I... offered."
"And he refused." It wasn't a question, and I could see the expression in her eyes before she closed them. Too full, too fleeting to identify. Relief was easy. Other than that, it was beyond my understanding. I had no idea what it meant to her, only that it meant something.
After a moment, she opened her eyes and looked at me. "Make Crichton any offers you want." Her voice was firm, clear. "And choose whatever intoxicants you wish for your recreation. It doesn't matter. Because whatever is or isn't between him and me -- it isn't about the way he *smells*."
I frowned, not understanding her meaning. "You don't believe me."
She smiled, then, an expression that was desperate, and joyful, and despairing, on the edge of tears. "I'm saying it doesn't matter. It *should*, but it doesn't. And that you offered, and he refused -- that *shouldn't* matter, but it does. And *I* understand. So it doesn't matter whether you do or not."
I couldn't even begin to think of a response to that. Perhaps she and Crichton were perfectly suited to each other, after all. She seemed to be every bit as insane as he was.
*****
As I faced them in command, I shifted the bag on my shoulder. Not much to carry, of course. I'd left Tendaris with only a pulse pistol and the clothes on my back. From the old Peacekeeper stores on Moya's deserted tiers, I'd selected two sets of leathers -- ones that fit, this time -- one to wear and a spare to carry with me. Other than that, nothing else. That's the way I preferred it.
I grinned. "Like old times, hmm Crichton?"
He couldn't help it -- he laughed, and smiled. Finally. I'd been worried -- his smiles had been rare since we'd returned from Chilbrea, his laughter even rarer. "You're too much, Jena."
I considered him for a moment, then let my expression fade from a teasing grin to a warm smile. "You could come with me, you know," I said. I was safe in making the offer -- I knew he wouldn't accept. Not yet. But the offer itself would lay groundwork, for a situation that not even I might be able to predict.
He was already shaking his head. "Jena-"
"Listen," I interrupted, determined to at least present the argument, so that he could think about it. "You were thrown onto this ship by accident -- that doesn't mean you have to stay here. We work well together. And two people traveling independently are less conspicuous than you've managed to make yourself so far. I can keep you safe."
"We can keep him safe as well," D'Argo snapped. "You're not needed-"
"Aren't I?" I faced them squarely, no sign of submission in my stance. "On the Royal Planet, I saved his life twice. Once he saved himself, and once he was saved by Scorpius' agent. And the rest of you -- what were *you* doing? Consolidating your power, sulking, or indulging your own desires. You still don't even know who was really behind the first attempt on his life, do you?" I put anger into my voice, impatience. "You imagine that you're helping him, and yet resent me for actually doing so. You've been lucky so far. But how long before your inattention costs him his life? Until he dies while you're off doing something that you think is more important?"
There was a long moment when no one moved or spoke or reacted. Then Aeryn Sun turned without speaking and left the room.
"Jenavian, that's enough," Crichton said quietly, and I knew -- both by the tone of his voice and his use of my name, my full name, that the conversation was over. "Thank you for everything you've done for me -- here, and on the Royal Planet. But I'm staying where I am. C'mon. I'll take you to the hangar bay."
In the hangar, I turned to him, my hands on his chest, and gave him my most winning smile. "You are one of the more intriguing creatures I've run across in my travels. I would have liked the opportunity to know you better."
"You're pretty intriguing yourself. But... honestly?" He grinned. "You scare the hell outta me."
I laughed, genuinely delighted at the idea. "You might regret not accepting my offer. You don't know what you're missing."
"I have an idea," he said with an appreciative smile, then cocked his head, looked at me quizzically. "Why the invitation? I mean-"
I stepped closer, invitingly. "Isn't the answer obvious?"
"So I'm stupid. Explain it to me."
"I've made enough of a fool of myself. You're very charming, John."
He chuckled. "I'm not *that* charming." As quickly as it had appeared, his grin faded, replaced by an intense, hard expression. "Seriously, Jena. What's the deal?"
I considered. Usually it was enough for a man -- especially a lonely man -- to be told that a beautiful woman wants him. Surely it had been enough for *this* man a cycle ago. He'd changed since then; now, the simple explanation of physical attraction, romantic interest, wasn't enough. He was suspicious, wary. Less like the strange, vulnerable man I'd known before and more like a Peacekeeper. More like a Disruptor. I liked it.
"John," I began. "There is a war coming, and whether you like it or not, you're going to be in the middle of it. Different factions, tracking you down, seeking your cooperation."
"And you want me to choose the Peacekeepers? Choose Scorpius?"
I tilted my head momentarily, giving him an expression of hesitation, then decision. "Scorpius may very well outlive his usefulness -- quite soon. If he can't deliver what we need to save our people, High Command will do what is necessary to win your cooperation. If that involves the dispensation of Scorpius, it will come as no surprise to anyone. If you want to come to the Peacekeepers, I can make it happen for you, when the time is right. Just... think about it. Remember that there are options. And," I gave him a shy smile that I didn't often use, "not merely professionally. Not all women find you as resistible as Aeryn Sun seems to." No harm in throwing that in. After all, the male ego, especially the wounded one, is still a vulnerability, even in the suspicious and wary.
He smiled, tilted his head, and looked at me. "You know, where I come from, they say that if someone closes a door, you should open a window."
I grinned, pleased he understood. "Exactly. Options."
He laughed ruefully. "Yeah, but uh... I always interpreted that as finding another way into the same damn house. And if the window's jammed shut, I'll try the storm cellar. Then the garage door... even try to scrunch up small enough to fit in through the mail slot. I don't give up easily. Just pig-headed, I guess."
I had no idea what he was talking about, but I don't give up easily, either. I pulled him to me, and he didn't resist -- not exactly. After a moment, when it became clear that the kiss either had to end or become something more, I sighed against his lips and let him go. As the doors closed behind him, I sighed again. "You can come out now, Aeryn."
She stepped from the shadows, her face unreadable. "You knew I was there." It wasn't a question. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because then I wouldn't have gotten my goodbye kiss." I regarded her. "There's something you want to ask me, isn't there? About John and me?"
She shook her head. "No. Crichton told us all about your little... fling, I think he called it, the day you came on board. The two of you recreated together. And despite everything, it's not something he regrets."
I hadn't expected that, for Crichton to tell them -- her -- the truth. So she'd known all along. They all had. And I'd been dropping hints to a secret that they already knew. Damn the man... I frowned slightly. "So why are you here?"
Aeryn Sun actually smiled. "To make sure that you leave."
I laughed, turned away, then paused for just the right amount of time to convey hesitation, decision, confidence, and turned back. "I wasn't lying before, Aeryn. He is... he needs to be preserved. There is no other being like him, and the universe would be the poorer for it without him in it."
Her chin lifted; I could tell she was caught off guard by my tone -- no longer challenging, confrontational. That's it, Aeryn, I urged silently. I'm not trying to beat you; I'm just *sharing* with you. And after all, I wasn't lying. It was absolutely vital that Crichton come to no harm. He had to be protected -- if he was killed by a Sheyang, or ate a bronith root, or stumbled across a kelnik mine... all my work would be for nothing. For a long moment, I thought she didn't understand what I was telling her, and I felt my impatience rise. Then I saw the look in her eyes. She knew how valuable he was.
She nodded once, sharply. "You have your job, and I have mine. Now get the frell off this ship."
****
It could just as easily have been me that he met first upon coming through the wormhole. It could as easily have been me that he'd formed an alliance with, had come to depend on. If it had been, we would have been good for each other. He most likely would have solved the wormhole puzzle by now, and I'd have reaped the rewards in terms of rank and position. We fought well side by side, and when the fighting ended, and it was just the two of us -- we were good together then, too. It would have been a good partnership, comfortable and mutually beneficial. Instead, he'd come to rely on these people. It was all timing, and luck.
But I'm not a believer in destiny bringing people together. Fate and destiny, they're simply excuses, crutches for the incompetent. Those who do their work well don't have to console themselves with platitudes about things being meant to happen a certain way when they fail -- because they simply don't fail. My association with John Crichton and the crew of Moya was far from over; what I had accomplished here was simply preparation for what was to come. And in my line of work, preparation is everything.
--End
