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Aeryn watched the two Hands, both clenched into fists, rushed toward them. There was a decidedly wicked look in their single eyes. “All right, this is a bad turn.”
“Yeah,” John said, “definitely a bad turn.” He raised his pulse pistol and took aim. “Winona don’t fail me now!” He opened fire a microt after Aeryn.
The Hands continued forward for another microt or two. The two of them then started whimpering and veered off. They took up position near the ceiling and seemed to be shaking in fear.
They stared at the Hands then turned to each other. “Don’t tell me it’s that easy,” Aeryn said.
“Hey, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” John stepped out of the cubicle and surveyed the scene before him. Snits were trying their best to avoid the pounding Hands. “Shall we end this and get on with our lives?”
“Yes, lets.” Aeryn began firing at the Hands to he right, while John fired on the ones on the left. Within microts, all the Hands were clustered by the ceiling, each one shaking in apparent fear. “Okay. Problem one down. Any ideas?”
“Don’t worry about it, Aeryn. I’ll come up with something. Inspiration’s my specialty.” John saw by the look on Aeryn’s face that she didn’t share his confidence.
Viterana’s voice echoed through the chamber. “You! Crichton! I’m given the order to destroy the P’kem’n ship!”
“Not a good idea, Vito. Do you really want to bring the wrath of the Peacekeepers down on you?”
“The Peacekeepers? Feh! Nothing in the Peacekeeper fleet can match the firepower of this vessel!”
“Really? Are you certain?” John holstered his pulse pistol and planted his hands on his hips. “Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve created.”
“Really? Why?”
“Ever hear of the Death Star?”
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“We’re on our way, Aeryn,” D’Argo said as he piloted the transport pod away from the P’kem’n ship. “They’re trying to pull away from the Snit ship now.”
“Anything from Pilot?”
“Pilot thinks he’s come up with something,” Chiana said. “He’s found the projector that controls the field. It doesn’t seem to be well protected.”
“Once we land, I’m going to try and shoot it with my Qualta Rifle.”
“Take my pulse rifle with you, just in case. Wait for our signal. John’s trying to reason with the Snits. Tell Pilot to be ready to starburst.”
“We’ll be ready, Aeryn. Good luck.” D’Argo angled the transport pod for Moya’s landing bay and traded concerned looks with Chiana.
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“The Death Star? What kind of name is that?”
John knelt in front of Viterana. “Don’t like the name? What’s this ship called?”
“Snit’s Revenge.”
“And you’re complaining about the Death Star?”
“Mere hyperbole.”
“You think so? Tell me, what’s the maximum destructive capability of this ship?”
“The Snit’s Revenge can depopulate a planet’s surface in three arns.”
“Three arns? Wow, that is impressive. The Death Star can destroy a planet, reduce it to rubble, in a matter of microts with just a single shot.” John watched Aeryn walk up to them, keeping her pulse pistol trained on the cowering Hands. “Everything okay back at the ranch?”
Aeryn nodded. “D’Argo’s taking care of business.”
“Good. I was just telling Vito here about the Death Star.”
Aeryn stared and her face went blank. “The Death Star?”
“Yeah, the Death Star. You were there when they destroyed Alderaan. The station’s superlaser did it in one shot, right?”
“Yes, that’s right. Exactly. One shot.” Aeryn looked down at John and wondered what he was talking about.
Viterana frowned and the anger faded from his eyes. “That’s impossible. No matter how big the laser is, it couldn’t destroy a planet in one shot.”
“Would you like to find out, Vito? The Death Star will shatter Snit World…”
“Snit-Sphere!”
“Whatever. The Death Star will crack it like an egg. So, are you still feeling lucky?”
Viterana continued to stare at John. “How…many…of…these…Death…Stars…are…there?”
John’s mouth twisted into an evil grin. “One, at the moment.”
The Snit’s eyes went wide. “At…the…moment…?”
“Yeah, they’re building a second one. It’s bigger.”
“B…b…bigger?”
“More powerful, too.”
“M…m…more powerful?”
“Yup. So, go ahead. Destroy the P’kem’n ship. Hell, go ahead and destroy Moya. After that, make peace with whatever furry little gods you worship, because you’ll be meeting them soon.”
It looked to John that Viterana was beginning to quiver. “Um…Crichton? Can you give me a microt, please? I have to consult with my crew.”
“Sure. Don’t take too long. I’m getting tired of dealing with you. I may just call the Death Star in just for dren and giggles.”
“Won’t be long at all.” Viterana turned and quickly crossed to a nearby cluster of Snits.
Aeryn watched them for a microt then leaned close to John. “Are you sure about this?”
John whispered, “Aeryn, don’t worry about it. This’ll work.” Louder, he said, “Some people have to learn the hard way that you don’t frell with the Peacekeepers.” He stood, crossed his arms and looked pleased with himself.
D’Argo sounded concerned over their comms. “John, Aeryn, what’s your situation?”
“Everything’s cool so far, D. Stand by.”
A few microts later, Viterana came back to them. “Ah, Crichton, I have a proposal for you. Would you agree to, say, us letting you and the P’kem’n go and forgetting about the whole thing?”
“Just sweep it under the rug,” John asked.
“Pretend it never happened,” Aeryn added.
“Of course. No one was injured, all you lost was a few arns of your valuable time.”
“No harm, no foul. I don’t know. Let me consult with my colleague. What do you think, Aeryn?”
Aeryn looked down at the Snits, her face a hard mask. “I don’t know. I don’t like having my time wasted by self-important little fur balls.”
Viterana raised his stubby arms. “Wait, please! It was all a misunderstanding!”
“Well, to avoid further misunderstandings, you will return to Snit-Land…”
“Snit-Sphere!” Viterana shrank away from the angry look Aeryn turned on him. “Sorry.”
“You will return to Snit-LAND and will stay there until the Peacekeepers contact you. If I ever hear of you or anyone else from your pathetic little system…”
“Um, the Snit System has twenty-five planets.” Viterana shrank further away as Aeryn drew her pulse pistol. “Sorry.”
“If I ever hear of you or anyone else from your pathetic LITTLE system bothering anyone, I will find you and use whatever you have for mivonks as decoration in my sleeping chamber.”
“You’ll never hear from us again! You won’t even know we were there!”
“You had better make sure of that, dude. I’ve seen her do that before.” John winced and shook his head. “It ain’t a pretty sight. So, we cool? Good. Now, how do we get out of here?”
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As John, Aeryn and D’Argo watched the Snit ship disappear from view, Pilot’s image appeared on the clamshell. “The P’kem’n are on line.”
“Put them up, Pilot.” John leaned on the main console and sighed. “Well, that was an experience I’ll never forget.”
Aeryn leaned next to him. “An experience. I suppose that’s one way to put it.” The P’kem’n appeared on the screen. “Well, you’ll be leaving soon, I suppose.”
“Yes, we’ll be underway soon.” The P’kem’n’s high-pitched voice was happy and relaxed. “What did you tell the Snits to make them retreat?”
“We told them about a bigger power.”
“A power bigger than the Peacekeepers and the Scarrans?”
“Yup.”
“But there are no bigger powers than the Peacekeepers and the Scarrans.”
“Yeah, I know. I lied through my teeth. It worked, didn’t it? Now, if I had told them about the MIBs, that would have been a different story.”
The P’kem’n froze and his face took on a look of abject fear. “The…the…MIBs?”
“Yeah, the Men In Black. It’s an urban myth on my planet. Supposedly, these guys in black suits and shades show up every time there’s a UFO sighting…wait a microt.”
The P’kem’n stared for another microt before severing the link. As the star field returned, they saw the P’kem’n ship accelerated away.
“What was that about,” D’Argo asked.
“I think they may have…naw, it couldn’t be.” John shook his head slowly. “File it with the other weird ass things that have happened over the last couple of cycles, D.” He looked at the screen again and started from Command. As he walked down the corridor, he started singing again.
“Ground Control to Major Tom…commencing countdown, engines on…”
