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John continued to stare at Viterana, the Snit leader, still not believing what he saw. “So, let me get this straight. According to the Pokeman, you Snits are the most feared warriors in known space…”
“That no one’s ever heard of,” Aeryn added.
“Right. Your ship is huge, big enough to eclipse a star. It’s armed to the teeth with enough weaponry to outgun a command carrier…but you’re only a couple of inches tall?”
Viterana planted his stubby arms on his side. “That’s right! What’s the matter, Crichton? Have a problem with size?”
John glanced at Aeryn and shook his head. “No, not at all. It just seems like over-compensation. Most guys would just buy a hot car, y’know.”
Viterana stared at John then started to pace, sliding easily on the smooth deck. “You’re just like all the rest. You don’t think beings as small as us can be players in galactic affairs, right? You think we’re easy to take advantage of, right? It’s been that way throughout our history. Every race that’s ever come to our homeworld of Snit-Sphere…are you laughing, female?”
Aeryn bit the inside of her mouth. “No. I’m not laughing. I’m serious.”
Viterana’s expression grew darker. “Every race that’s come to Snit-Sphere has felt the same way. ‘Oh how cute,’ they say. ‘Oh look at the little balls of fur,’ they say. Then, we said, ‘No more!’ Now, the galaxy will pay!” Squeaky yet still maniacal laughter echoed through the darkness.
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Chiana watched the P’kem’n pace the small room. “Oh, this is bad,” he said. “Bad, bad, bad! What if Crichton fails? Oh, our souls will be destroyed and our bones used for plant fertilizer!”
D’Argo closed his eyes and forced himself to stay calm. He glanced at Chiana. “Maybe we should have brought Stark along. They seem to be kindred spirits.” He reached out and stopped the P’kem’n’s pacing. “Look, we have to have some faith in John and Aeryn. Now, what did you tell the Snits to save your planet?”
The P’kem’n backed away from D’Argo and bounced nervously from foot to foot. “We…we…we…oh what’s the point!”
With a growl, D’Argo lifted the P’kem’n up. “What…did…you…do?”
“We told them we had a super weapon that would destroy them if we were attacked.”
D’Argo blinked and let the P’kem’n drop to the deck. “You told them…”
“Yes, we lied to them. We told them that our planet was surrounded by a conveniently undetectable field that would reflect back any weapons fire directed at the surface.”
Chiana looked surprised. “Well, it looks like Crichton was on the right track. Except, didn’t you say your people repelled the Snits at great cost?”
The P’kem’n’s eyes lowered. “Well, yes. The Snits were so outraged that they destroyed several of our colonies and outposts in the system.”
“So it’s quite possible that even if the Snits let us live, they may take their anger out on someone else?” D’Argo exchanged a look with Chiana.
Both of them slapped their comms. “John! Aeryn!”
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“Okay, D’Argo. Got it.” John looked around the bare chamber he and Aeryn had been taken to by several of the Snits, while Viterana continued his maniacal ranting. Through the chamber’s open door, he could see a veritable sea of Snits.
“What’s your situation over there?” D’Argo’s voice was a whisper; they had turned down the volume on their comms to keep the Snits from hearing them.
John glanced out the door again. “Well, it’s the attack of the killer tribbles over here, D, but we’re all right so far. We’ll be in touch.”
“What’s a trbbl?”
John looked at Aeryn. “Huh? Trbbl? Oh, it’s tribble. It’s a small ball of fur, kinda like the Snits, only without the eyes, the arms and the ‘tude.”
“Are they dangerous?”
“No, they just eat a lot and make more tribbles. What do you think we should do?”
“I think we should proceed carefully. We don’t want them pissed on.”
“Pissed off,” John corrected. He watched several of the Snits gather around Viterana and apparently started an argument with them. Another Snit slid into the room.
John watched him carefully. “Trouble at the mill?”
The Snit looked at Viterana, then up at John. “Many of us disagree with Viterana and the policies he’s enacted.”
Aeryn knelt in front of the Snit. “What really happened to set this off?”
“Viterana has always been rather sensitive about his height. If you’ll notice, even for a Snit, he’s a bit…short.”
John dropped to one knee. “I hadn’t noticed. But he still couldn’t just buy a hot car to make up for it?”
“He’s always been prone to overreaction. He once killed a thousand of our fellow Snits because a few of them didn’t laugh at a joke he made. Many of us fear that if we continue on this course, it will mean the end of the Snit race.”
“Well, if you do continue, it’s only a matter of time before you encounter one of the major powers.” Aeryn glanced at John, silently urging him to follow her lead.
The Snit looked uncertain. “Really? Are there really that many dangerous races out there? Is everything I’ve heard about the Peacekeepers true?”
“Don’t know what you’ve heard,” John said, “but does the phrase ‘shoot first and don’t ask questions’ mean anything to you?”
“The Nebari? Surely they…”
“One of their host vessels took out a Peacekeeper command carrier.”
“The Scarrans?”
“They’d have you for a late night snack, then use your hull plating to pick fur from their teeth.”
The Snits tiny hands clasped and he began to pace. “Oh my…oh my…oh my…perhaps it’s time to reconsider our path. If there truly are so many dangerous races in the galaxy…”
“Yes, there are. Peacekeepers, Scarrans, Nebari…”
“Oh my,” John added. “Look, Furbie, we’re all for peaceful coexistence, but it ain’t gonna happen if Viterana is still in charge.”
“But Viterana controls the Hands. They’re his main means of enforcement.”
John thought quickly. “I’ll tell you what, let us talk to him. I’m sure we can convince him that galactic domination is not for him.”
The Snit thought for a microt. “Let me consult with the others. What will you say to them?”
“Well, I’d rather wait until I can speak to a group of you. I hate repeating myself.”
As the Snit left the chamber, Aeryn looked at John. “You have a plan?”
John shrugged. “Well, following in Kirk’s footsteps isn’t helping. Time to pull a Picard and talk our way out of this.”
“What are you going to say?”
“As soon as I know, I’ll tell you.” John looked around quickly. “Do you hear that?”
Aeryn listened. What sounded like rumbling could be heard in the distance. “Something wrong with the ship’s systems, do you think?”
The rumbling became rhythmic pounding. “Either that, or Moya has a real bad case of heartburn. Can you see anything…”
Viterana’s voice sounded from all around them. “So the traitors who seek to depose me have made their presence known! Conspiring with aliens is grounds for immediate execution! The sentence will be carried out immediately!”
John and Aeryn poked their heads through the door. In the distance, they could see several of the Hands, each one clenched into fists, pounding on the deck, trying to crush the retreating Snits.
“That is not a good sign,” John said.
Two of the Hands stopped pounding and turned toward their chamber. As they flew toward them, John and Aeryn drew their pulse pistols.
“Oh frell,” they said in unison.
