My Diary...

fo shizzle

June 30, 2001

.................i was eating ice-cream.  for anyone thinking, "damn, she eats a lot of ice-cream," congratulations, you're a genious!  so during the wee hours of this morning...i sat there, trying to fall asleep, and i began pondering once again.  i thought about why exactly i hate going to school, and why, even though it's supposed to be "the greatest time of your life," to me, it's more like a prison in hell.  Come august, i'll be forced to scrunch back into the mold of "nerdy, goody-goody little brown girl"....and i don't think i can take that anymore.  It's kind of like clipping a birds wings....or taking laughter away from a clown...they just aren't the same anymore.  I feel as though school takes away my personality...and i'm forced to be a completely different person.  So for the next month, i think i'll just take school out of my mind...watch movies, eat my ice-cream and be jolly.  :)

June 29, 2001

    Lately, I've had this obession...well, not really obsession...i just have a fancy for em...nose piercings! I don't really understand where this fancy was spawned from...it just came out of the blue.  Like everytime i get tired of life in general, i have to change something...either cut my hair or poke another hole in my head.  I'm going on 7 in my ears, now i want one more in my nose.  On another note...i'm still bored...lookin out the window, the sun is shining on our front lawn, creating a rather vibrant green color...not anything like ghaasgoo........

June 28, 2001

    Aight, well, currently, I'm talking to Nadia (well, she just got off...), i WAS talking to Nadia about how we probably have so many relatives that we don't even know are alive....then we got to pondering about how everyone on earth is related to each other.........then we got grossed out.  We also created a new color...we named it "ghaasgoo," (grass-goo)...don't ask what the color looks like...just imagine what grass-goo would look like......if you haven't realized yet, all ansari's are demented..........

June 27, 2001

Well, i made a picture page (or pages) today, click here to see em.  My brain is now drained, so i have no thoughts.  Just depressed today....bored too.  

June 26, 2001

    Wait...lemme finish my ice-cream.........................ok, all gone.  This morning was awesome...i had the house all to me, so i just sat in the den and listened to music for a good 2 hours.  and, yet again, i started thinking.  I thought about how people, the cheesy people on tv who are "heros" and "role models" always tell little kids to never stop dreaming...then i thought of all the crazy dreams i've had in my life.  Then i got to thinking how stupid those people are.  Yeah, it may just be my pessimism talking, but it seems to me like dreams only cheapen our real lives...that they take away from them and make em even more dissatisfying than they already are.  And then i thought, well, for people like me who don't have the priviledge of living life the way we choose, i guess dreams are all we have.  I then got to thinking about how everyone in my family is growing up too fast...even getting married.  That led to pondering love, and what it may hold for me in the future.  But then again, i don't have the priviledge or right to love, so i could just forget about it.  Then i got to thinking about how i think too much, and need to get a life.  :)  I

June 25, 2001

Another boring weekend passed.  Blah blah, i actually woke up early this morning...10:00am!  I went to sleep at around 3:30 last night...insomnia- it sucks.  But the good thing about it is that you have a lot of time to think...just think, nothing else.  So I did a lot of thinking about when i was a kid...well, i still am technically a kid, but this was when i was younger.  Most of the time, I correlate my childhood with our old house in Chicago, cause it seems like those were the best, and therefore most "innocent" years of life.  So anyways, i was just thinking about how i had more freedom as a 6 year old than i do now.  Funny how life is.  Anyways, through all these stupidly deep thoughts, a REALLY old song, embedded along with those chicago memories in the far corners of my brain popped up.  I was afraid that i would forget the tune of the song in the morning, so i sat there for about 20 minutes trying to remember all that i could, even though i only knew about 5 words from it.  Well, i got on napster this morning and FOUND IT!!  SAWAN KA MAHINA, PAVAN KARE SOOOR.....jeearaara jhoome jaise, jaise something something something.  So now, i'm listening to "Chamakti Shaam Hain," a highly entertaining song from hrcookieman's forthcoming movie, Yaadein. Perhaps 10 years from now, i'll be struggling to remember the words to this song..."cham cham cham cham cham cham..." or maybe not.

June 24, 2001

Blaaah, blaaaah, blaaaaaaah, blaaaaaah!!!!!!

June 23, 2001

Blah blah blah.......................

June 22, 2001

Nothing, nothing, nothing happening...so bored, once again.  For anyone reading this... read what was going on merely a week ago, and compare it to my life now...pathetic!  Well, i have no thoughts to share right now.  Except that doughnuts taste good.  Today, we watched titanic, and maine pyaar kiya.  wow, fun.  I feel rather bitter right now as i think of how i only have about a month left till summer ends, and i have to return to the horrid learning establishment entitled "school."  But at least it'll be senior year, which means the last one.  Yay!  No more restriction, like having to be "supervised" the whole day, like some infants in a nursery.  In the words of my buddy izzy (the white one) GRRRRRR........... 

June 21, 2001

Well, got up late again...got online....watched titanic...then we went to see Pearl Harbor again with my momma.  Very good movie, indeed.  It's just so sad to see everyone die all over again, especially Danny...poor kid.  :(  We got  Taco Bell, then went home, got online, and then watched one of the most pathetic movies i've ever seen in my life, Mujhe Kuch Kehna Hain...ewwwwwwww!!  During the movie, there were numerous big roaches harrassing me and my momma in the den, so we killed them.  Wow, i'm sure you wanted to hear that.  

June 20, 2001

I don't really remember this day....i got up late, got online, watched the rest of maine pyaar kiya as we made fun of everyone in the movie....got online...then that night we watched One Two Ka Four with my momma.  Very good movie, i must say.  

June 19, 2001

Well, we got up, i ate coco pebbles for breakfast.  We then watched a Jerry Springer episode entitled " I'm sleeping With My Dad"......yes, we were all thinking the same thing, ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My cuz izzy decided to come with us to the boring, desolate land that is Augusta, so he did.  On the way, we stopped at the farmer's market, got some crossants, went to indian store, got some channae, then went to get gosh.  That place smelled like a goat's poo's poo!!!  EWwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!  We got home, and lo and behold, there was a for sale sign in our front yard!!!  I still don't know how that happened.  Well, pizza was ordered, and we pigged out.  We then proceeded to watch the Real World Reunion, American Desi, Karan Arjun, and some of Maine Pyaar Kiya as me and izzy talked about how pathetic life is for the girls in our family.  :( 

June 18, 2001

Well, we woke up that morning, and the larki waale came over for brunch.  Fearing the peanuty potential of the food, me no eat it.  We watched the wedding videos as well, very amusing!  Then, after some teary goodbyes, we left nashville for Atlanta.  We at Taco Bell on the way, and when we got back, we just slept!

June 17, 2001

We got up around 5:00 am, no not to see the sunrise, but to get ready for our 7:00 flight to Nashville.  We were all afraid that the 13 massive bags would not pass through due to their immense weight, but they did as some nice old airport man helped us with the bags.  We boarded Southwestern Airlines (even though we were technically going NorthWest, but i guess that doesn't matter), as nado, shazo and i got the opportunity to sit by each other.  What did we do on the flight?  Hmmmm....we spied on Mati Chacha and our new chachi, we ate some sour punch, and laughed and giggled the whole way.  When we were given animal crackers and coffee by our flight hostess person.  However, the coffee was rather bitter, even with 3 packets of sugar added to it, so, inspired by the double mochacinos and double chocolate fudge frappacinos of the world, we added m&m's to the coffee, to incorporate some taste to the bitter fluid.  This just facilitated our inestimable hyperactivity.  At the airport, we were greeted by Maina Phupo and my brother Azzi.  On the way to nado and shazo's house, we visited our Dadi's grave, and decorated her grave with beautiful roses.  I remember this all vividly, because the sun was touching everyone with such grace, that i couldn't help but feel her loving presence among us.  :)  Well, we got to the house, where it seemed like every freaking person in our family was present.  People everywhere!!  More people came, as Saaraa and her familia arrived at the house.  They graced us with Hrithik Roshan's concert video, which we watched....of course me and shazia watched with our mouths hanging open and drooling.  But that's just us.  We all then got ready and went to Quality Inn where Mati Chacha's Valima took place.  Very fun, indeed.  Yes, there were Gunde there that were staring down my innocent little cousins, but they couldn't ruin our fun....the food did that.  It looked SOOOO GOOD, as it tasted the same.  But of course, whatever i ate had peanut oil in it, so once again, i vomited.  :(  But we got some good pictures at the Valima, especially one with all the cousins...except for Asad and Moon, who were in Pakistan at the time.  :(  Well, on the way back, i think everyone fell asleep in the car, as did i.  When we got home, i realized exactly how big of an effect that damn peanut oil had on me, and boy was i cranky!!  20 + hours with barely any sleep, and you'd be cranky too, shoooo!!  We all eventually fell asleep, though.  

June 16, 2001

    Yes, again we disrupted our sweet sleep and went to the beach to watch the sunrise.  Except this time, we went on a pier where fish heads and guts were sprawled everywhere, so it wasn't as fun as the day before.  We then went to Denny's for breakfast, TIGHT food.  We then went back to the hotel, where we actually slept...until 12:00pm.  We then proceeded to the beach in the afternoon.  We figured we wouldn't get too wet...hee hee, we all did!  Very fun, indeed.  We then went to the dollar store where numerous types of candy were purchased, and then on to Publix where milk was bought.  Well, after we went back to the hotel, we (nado, shazo and i) decided to do some real swimming, so we proceeded to the pool where we burned ourselves in the jacuzzi and cannon-balled into the deserted pool.  Also very fun, as we played Anakthshari, or something, i can't spell urdu words very well.  Anyways, we swam till the sun started going down, then we got showered and decided to raid the vending machines in the lobby.  There, we sang the chicken song (as i was wearing my chicken rings shirt) and created a nice little jig to it.  Yes, we were crazy at that time.  :)  We went back up to the rooms to feast on a dinner of candy and vending machine goodies.  Sibghat Uncle also took us for a drive...to nowhere.  We got back from the drive in about 5 minutes.  Very fun, as we listened to absurdsongs on the radio.  Shazia joined our room as we went to bed around 11:30pm.  however, shazo's antics would hinder our sleep (as she made us laugh histerically), and we all fell asleep around 12 or so.  

June 15, 2001

Me, my dad, my momma, my aunt, and nado and shazo woke up around 5:30 am to go watch the sunrise over the beaches of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.  Very beautiful...for all you losers that go to the beach and sleep till noon, you have no idea what you're missing.  Not even in your wildest dreams could you imagine a more beautiful vision.  Well, after that, we went back to the hotel where all the parents decided to fall asleep, and kick me, and my cuz's out of the hotel rooms cause we were not sleepy like the old folks.  So we meandered through the hotel for a good 3 hours.  We went to the exercise room, then on to sit by the hotel's pool under some coconut trees.  (yes, there were real coconut trees surrounding the pool.)  As we dipped our feet in the jacuzzi, the pool man cleaned the pool and tried to make conversation with us.  By his accent, he seemed french.  He was a nice old man.  We then proceeded to the lobby area where we watched sugar ray perform on the today show.  After we go tired of that, we woke up my mom and went to bug mati chacha and his mom.  Realizing that we were starving, he took us to Denny's  for breakfast.  Very tasty eggs and hashbrowns.  That night, we attended mati chacha's wedding at La Quinta Inn.  I gotta give props to the peeps that set up the wedding, it was TIGHT!  The food was rather tasty as well.  While there, we had glitter sprinkled in our hair, we took about a billion pictures, and we ate glorious brownies which tasted like pancakes, according to Rehman.  We also managed to keep up with the Lakers/76ers game.  Poor philly!  Oh yeah, we also ran into a little boy, about 3 years of age, who looked exactly like my brother.  We named this poor child "Chota Paraj," after Faraz, and we hunted the poor little child down like some hunters after deer.  We arrived at the hotel around 1:30 am

June 14, 2001

Went to Ft. Lauderdale Florida a la Air Tran.  Very freaky flight, i was afraid of crashing the whole time.  But nothing of the sort happened, it was rather pleasant after I got my coke and little grahm crackers.  :)  When we got there, my parents decided to go straight to the hotel instead of waiting for the rest of our family members to arrive.  So we went in search of The Courtyard Marriot like a trio of hungry blind mice in search some cheese.  We decided to go get some lunch, so we stopped at "The Home of the Kabaab," a pleasant little middle eastern restaurant.  Our waiter suggested we all get some falafal.  so we did, but little did i know what lurked inside the seemingly tasty mass of ground up beans and vegetables....PEANUT OIL!!  AAAHHH!  So while at the restaruant, my lip swelled up profusely.  Well, after about 5 more minutes in our TIGHT rented car, we found the hotel, and lo and behold, our family members arrived at exactly the same time.  Well, by then, i felt the peanutty heap in my stomach starting to churn, and i knew i was gonna hurl.  So my cuz's nadia and shazia took me to the lobby's bathroom (which had a beautifully fragrant aroma, much like a garden on a spring morning).  Well, after bout 20 minutes, i got sick of waiting for the peanuty falafal to come spewing out of me, so i stuck my finger's down my throat, and allowed the middle eastern delacicy to cascade down from my mouth in to the toilet.  I must say, i felt much better after that.  Following the falafal incident, my cuz's and i went to the gloriously well equipped exercise room at the hotel.  We goofed around, and broke some equipment, same ol, same ol.  That night, we prepared for good 'ol Mati Chacha's mehndi ceremony.  While walking to the car, we were forced to sing some gay mehndi songs, such as bhumbro while we carried little bowls of mehndi and were taped by a video camera so that the embarrassment would be preserved for future generations to see.  So then we arrived at the bride's house where we saw her for the first time.  the food was superb, as were the festivities.  We arrived back at the hotel around 1 am.  

June 13, 2001

Went to Atl and stayed at my bros' apartment.

June 12, 2001

Aight, nothing going on.  I brownyized some people today, click here to see!!  We gon go to Florida for uncle Mati's wedding, yay!  I'll have something to do besides waste my life online.  On a lighter note, i just ate a whole butt-load of papad and samosae...so i feel good!  Aight, gotta go.  Peace out to anyone pathetic enough to sit there and read my thoughts!!  I'm the pitiful one...you go get a life!

June 11, 2001

WARNING--THE FOLLOWING IS A SOMEWHAT DEEP THOUGHT!  

I am currently listening to Yaadein.  The first 10 times I heard this, I didn’t even pay attention to the lyrics of the song, just the melody, which in itself, manifests itself as a "yaad."  It’s fluffy, melancholy, light tunes makes it seem fleeting, yet memorable—a memory in itself!  After you finally pay attention to the lyrics, which seem rather cheesy at first, they transform and take on meaning, and a life of their own once applied to one’s own life.  I think of all the growing up I’ve done over my fleeting 17 years…for instance, the first thing that popped up was my summer in Pakistan…how the “baatein” have been forgotten, yet the ultimate memory of that time remains embedded within my being somewhere.  I also think of all that happened when my various relatives had their surgeries and some passed on.   Although they aren’t events that I neccessarily wanted to occur, they did, and the times that my family was brought together during those times are what remain stuck in my soul as Yaadein.  This song kind of explains why I’m writing in this diary in the first place.  In this way, the baatein that were stuck in my head won’t be forgotten, but they will remain as the residue upon my yaadein as they become immortalized on this computer.  Man, I can make up cheese relating to just about anything!! 

June 10, 2001
Aight, no one's online, so i'm bored.  I am currently listening to "Brothers" from the Pearl Harbor soundtrack.  If you haven't heard this song, i suggest you download it....and if you haven't seen the movie, you're just DUMB!!!  It's awesome.  I really can't understand how Evolution, a movie about alien bugs that fell to earth a la an asteroid can get more stars than a movie depicting one of the most pivitol events in this country's history...NEVER trust movie critics!!  On a lighter note...I ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fuge Ice Cream yesterday.  If you haven't tried that stuff, i suggest you do.  I agree with Xzibit(is that how you spell his name??)....it's the greatest ice-cream ever created.  :)

June 9, 2001
Aight, first entry.  Welcome, everyone, to the depths of my insanity.  Well, nothing much happened today.  Everyone's been hogging the comp, so now that i finally have kabzaa of it, i's gonna keep it, shoo!  Anyways, thanks for giving me this idea, dhara!  It's 10:23pm right now.  I think my bro and cuz wanna use the comp, i gotsta go fo now.  gosh, i feel so gay writing in an online diary!!!