Summary: This film has as much in common with "Troll" as Gary Busey has with women his own age. This is a clear attempt to cash in on another movie's success. The only problem is that "Troll" didn't have any success. Check that, that’s not the only problem.

Joshua is a young boy that has the opposite problem that I have. His grandfather is dead but he imagines that he is still alive and talks to him. This gets him in trouble with his parents. On the other hand, my grandpa is alive but I act like he's dead and I don't talk to him. This does not get me in trouble with my parents.

Joshua and his parents and older sister Holly decide to go on the worst vacation in the world. This isn't like one of those vacations were you go and everything goes wrong––like being in New York City and getting room 911 (true story)––this is one of those vacations were you willingly take a hellish old van to get to a shitty old town where you are going to live like a "farmer." A fucking farmer. Holly's boyfriend and his homosexual friends trying their hardest to be straight also tag along separately.

When they get to the quiet town of Nilbog everything seems great. The locals are odd but hospitable. There are tons of things to do if you like sitting in a rocking chair. Never mind that Nilbog spelled backwards is "goblin" (see Nemic, Corin). When they arrive at their busted-ass vacation home, they find a delectable selection of pastries and green juice spread out across the table. But Joshua's dead gramps Seth warns him to not let his family eat the cursed food. Seth freezes time so that Joshua can pee all over the food. Which, by the way, I remarkably predicted. There is something to be said for a movie when you can predict that someone will piss all over his family's food.

Joshua is naturally punished for his filthy act––his father screams, "If I wanted pee in my food I'd eat at Vietnamese restaurants!" We soon find out that eating the food in Nilbog turns one into a tree. This happens to one unlucky character with disgusting pod-fingers. Joshua, still on probation, goes with his father to town to get some meat product. They find out that everyone at Nilbog is a vegetarian. Joshua escapes from his father's attention and accidentally spies on a Scientology-esque meeting of Nilbogians led by the late Ken Caminiti (not really).

What Camy reveals is that they are all trolls in the town and they really want to eat some tourists. They also have some witch on their side that acts her very bestest. Joshua and his father hurry home, only to find that the entire congregation has beat them home AND set up party decorations. You see, they have decided to throw a party to make the vacationers feel welcome. But they really want to feed them some of their food full of chlorophyll. This is why people turn into plants, although I eat chlorophyll constantly in the form of fruits and vegetables but I don't start sweating green like I'm in a fucking Gatorade commercial. But, hey, these people do. To each their own.

Well the family conjures old Seth because they finally start believing Joshua. Seth tells them to touch a boulder from Stonehenge and eat a bologna sandwich. And all of this actually works and the trolls are defeated. The lesson here is that there is plenty of vegetation in the world but trolls want more than they need and that leads to their downfall. The short version is that trolls are fucking greedy.

Michael Stephenson, who plays the young Joshua, has his own website and is constantly on message boards pathetically referring to anyone reading his posts as the "Troll 2 Fan Club." The cast even recently had a reunion! http://www.mpstephenson.com/index.php/blog

Unfortunately, the cast of "Troll 2" was not available for me to have a fantasy interview and make them say flattering things to me, but I commend Maverick for doing what ever it takes to make himself feel better. I hereby put to rest this brief East-County/ West-county feud before it escalates. You may have moved Mav, but you’ll always be East-County to me.
When a movie features a grandpa that encourages his grandson to urinate on his family's food and throw molotov cocktails it will receive 3 smiling Keanus.
Reviewed by Merlin
QUOTES:

"Are you trying to turn me into a homo?"

"Only the power of goodness can defeat these monsters."