| Mini Reviews |
| (because sometimes we get lazy and these movies weren't that great anyway) |
| An alien rapes several supple young virgins for the assumed goal of populating the Earth with his race. It seems to make more sense to use your own females to breed with because you'd make pure- breds and not some useless half-blooded new life form. Alas, he chooses humans, which results in many hot nudie scenes, especially in locker rooms! |
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| 1.5 Keanus for titties. |
| Crazy mosquitos take over a small town as a result of toxic waste dumping. This big bug movie has all the classic elements: aforementioned toxic waste waste, a greedy business man, a hero cop hindered by the sheriff, stubborn locals, racist stereotypes (I saw a raindance coming miles away) and monster point-of-view cam. "You've got a giant mosquito on your face, Larry." |
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| 2.5 Keanus for delivering the expected. |
| This movie was basically "Breeders" , although nearly every movie we watch is bascially something else. Four friends accidentally conjure a troll named Grim using a Ouija board, a common crappy movie theme, who kidnaps one of them. Grim then parties around underground, putting a killing on some peeps on a ridiculously awesome ridiculous costume. He is eventually stopped by "experts." |
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| 1.5 Keanus for being completely forgettable. |
| This film boasts one of the best crappy movie titles of all time. Unfortunately, that is easily the best thing about this crappy film. It features stupid characters and boring action that makes you really want to turn it off before the end. The mysterious motorcyclist is pretty bad at sealing the deal on his murders; it should be called "injure-cycle." This is definitely not "Trucks." It's not even "The Car." |
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| 1 Keanu for tedium, which Keanu HATES. |
| 1.5 Keanus for being completely forgettable. |
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