Spider-man 2099UG #4B

"Hello, Spidey, fancy meeting you here! What took you so long?"

"Well, I heard reports of Spider-Man fighting a whole slew of kung-fu movie refugees at the old Alchemax building. 'Alchemax? But that's where I work!' I thought to myself so I thwipped web to get over there and all I saw were a few stories of the Tower covered and surrounded by rubble. I overheard someone saying they thought they saw a couple men fly out through a window right before the explosion, and I thought, 'If I were Spider-Man, which I am, I'd probably be one of the guys lucky enough to be falling out of Alchemax Tower before the whole thing exploded.' It took a little bit of searching, but when I heard another big explosion down here, I just followed the crowds and then I found you!"

"Glad you did, Spidey, because I'm in pretty bad sha--"

Spider-Man just realized that he was talking to someone else and calling him Spider-Man.

"What the shock is going on here! I'm Spider-Man! Let go of me!" Spidey frantically twists and struggles to break free as he realizes that this imposter has just webbed his hands together and is holding them above his head as the other hand reaches for his throat!

"Yeah, sure you are! And so is that guy over there! And so is he! And so is he, he, he, she, he, he, she and he!"

Spider-Man twists Spider-Man's head around so that he can look at the crowd that has gathered about this little drama. Surrounding the entire block of Downtown are all the cliques and cults and dregs of humanity that "civilized people" Uptown have turned their backs on: Spiderites, Thorites, Freakers, Throwbacks, Fenris--even a few clearly marked bands of lowlifes he has never seen before. He also sees the other poor players strutting and fretting their hours upon this stage: there's that new Punisher, the Goblin crouching over what appears to be an unconscious Vulture, and the remains of that flame-throwing guy, whoever he was (his name was Combustion, as readers of PUNISHER 2099 UG #10 should recall!- -Tom). Spider-Man also sees some Watchdogs, Public Eye soldiers, even a couple SHIELD agents who have come out to partake of the festivities. **Wow! I must have been really out of it to not have noticed all these spectators! I hope they enjoyed the show!**

"But now Spider-Man, you have been very naughty while I was away, so I'm going to have to make an example of you to all these people watching. I don't know how you destroyed Alchemax, but you are going to pay, and everyone else here will learn not to mess with Spider-Man!"

The new Spider-Man raises his left arm and pops his talons with deliberate hesitation for everyone to bear witness.

KA-BLAM!!!

The noise startles both Spider-Men as they turn and stare at the Punisher. John daSilva is still new to this super-hero/super-villain lifestyle and he is a little confused, very sweaty and dirty, and just a little edgy after all the action that has just gone down. And his SHIELD-issue SOS-52 (sawed-off shotgun) is just raring for a workout.

"I don't know what's going on, but I do know that I just helped the S-Man, the one on his knees collapsing from exhaustion, take out these known SOGs ("Sons of Glitches, of course!--Keep-it-clean-for-the kiddies Tom). Until I get the whole story, I'm not letting either one of you make an example of anybody, is that clear?" DaSilva may not be the original Punisher, but no one there could tell the difference from his commanding voice and "Go ahead, make my day" stance.

The Punisher cautiously walks to the center of the square where the new Spider- Man is standing over the old one, but is cut off from the two of them by a grenade thrown in front of him, which gives off a firecracker explosion and then emits a thick cloud of smoke.

"That's far enough, Pop-Gun Pete. If you know what's good for you, you'll just back away, let the two Spider-Fools fight themselves. Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll kill each other so that God can sort them out. Oh, and don't breathe in too much of that gas, it might be hazardous to your health and even cause birth defects in pregnant women." The Goblin smiles at daSilva while he glares right back at him (this takes place before both MORBIUS 2099 UG #6 and THOR 2099 UG #1 - chronologically-critical Tom). The Punisher has no choice but to back away and let the smoke clear.

"Now, before I was so rudely interrupted, where was I? Oh yes, I was about to slit your throat for your bad behavior. Are you ready, 'Spider-Man'?"

Cocking his hand back one more time, Spider-Man is prepared, spinning his right leg out, tripping the bogus Spider-Man and knocking him flat on his back. Spider-Man, the man known as Miguel O'Hara under the mask, rolls backward, putting one taloned foot up to his webbed hands, shredding the rope-like material. **It sure seems like webbing** he thinks as he rolls onto his feet ready for the imposter's attack.

"Oooh, very good! I would have done the same thing myself, naturally, because I'm Spidey, too!" He jumps back onto his feet and the two webbed wonders slowly sidestep in a circle, measuring up their opponent (themselves?), looking for the right opportunity to spring.

**Okay, Miguel, I know who I am. I'm Miguel O'Hara. I was CEO of Alchemax until Halloween Jack decided to take back his Virtual Unreality equipment. Our struggles, along with that Morbius kid, led to the release of Thanatos from the VU dimension. They all left, and as I was trying to save New York from the energy backlash that the VU generators were creating, the Vulture attacked me. I managed to erect the old force shields to contain the blast, but the Vulture and I were thrown Downtown. That's where I met up with the Punisher and fought the Goblin. More fighting, and the next thing I know, I'm fighting another Spider-Man. Okay, putting it into perspective really helped--NOT!** Spider-Man leaps at him, but Miguel ducked underneath. He whirls around to see the other Spider-Man is just laughing at him and the dance goes on.

**Think Miguel! Who is this guy! Who do you know that knows Spider-Man well enough to mimic his moves right down to the webbing, strength, and agility? He may even know that you and Spider-Man are the same, but that's not a given and besides, who doesn't know that now? No Spiderite could match yor powers. Who the shock is this then?**

The other Spider-Man leaps at him again. Again Miguel ducks, every muscle, ligament and tendon screaming from overexertion and/or injury. This time, Spider-Man webs Miguel's back at he flies over, somersaulting in mid-air, flinging Miguel by the webbing over his head and into the side of an old Downtown New York bank. Miguel smacks the brick wall, pushing bricks through and making an impression big enough to sit in.

Spider-Man leaps at him, and the real Spider-Man brings up his arms to spit out some of his own homemade webbing, but the electric pain shooting up his arms reminds him that he overdid that trick a little while back at Alchemax on those Specialists and the Vulture (see SM2099UG #3 -- that had to hurt). Instead, the self-proclaimed world's greatest genius bails out from his wall niche as Spider- Man plows head-first through the bank wall.

Spectators run over to inspect the building where this second Spider-Man just crashed through. Miguel tumbles onto the ground, rolling to his feet. Out of the corner of his eye, thanks to his accelerated vision, he sees the Punisher reaching for something off his back. He looks over at daSilva and visibly tilts his head in puzzlement as the Punisher kneels on the ground snapping together a couple pieces of big metal tubing together to form a --

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR SHOCKING MIND!"

John daSilva looks up at Spider-Man and a barely perceptible curl of his lip on the right side of his mouth tells Spider-Man that, yes, perhaps he is, but this solution could be what we all need right now.

Realizing that he is not in shape enough to reach the Punisher to stop him, Spider-Man yells, "GET THE FREAK OUT OF THE WAY!" He gets up and runs toward the ogling crowd by the bank, picking up people one at a time and thowing them some twenty meters away into the streets. **This isn't fast enough!** he thinks, so he gathers a couple onlookers in his arms and makes the best impression of a bull-dozer he can muster, pushing twenty to thirty people back into the streets.

The crowd start screaming at the masked man. "What the shock are you doing!" "Let go of me!" "I'll sue you for this, Spider-Man!" "I think you broke my ribs!" "You really smell, don't you bathe?"

The Punisher stands up and puts the long metal cylinder over his shoulder. All eyes inexplicably turn toward him, somehow knowing that the next performance was going to come from the guy with the big white skull on his chest.

"You see now? That's a bazoo--!"

BLAMMMM!

SHREEEEEEE--

KAA-POWWW!

There's no longer a bank standing on that corner of Downtown New York. Whatever was inside that place, or standing too close to it, has been punished.

The Punisher looks upon what he has done, and he is pleased with himself. But before he can get Spider-Man's undying gratitude, or enmity depending upon which wall-crawler you refer to, he takes a pumpkin bomb right into his back, the detonation of which sends him flying through the air and landing not so gracefully on his chin. If it weren't for the body armor, he'd have been severely hurt, if not killed. John daSilva learned this day to never revel in your accomplishments when your enemies are still breathing. That, however, is a situation he wishes to rectify.

"Your interference has given Spider-Man yet another day to live. That was not what I wanted. If you ever get in my way to disrupt my plans again, Punisher, I promise you will not live to do so ever again. You have been warned." The Goblin points an accusatory finger at the Punisher and then turns to look at Spider-Man, just now getting to his feet after saving the Downtowners. The Goblin scowls at his enemy, and reaches into his bag to pull out another incendiary device. Noticing that the Punisher is already up on one knee aiming his model-kit shoulder cannon right at his head, the Goblin puts his hands up. Mumbling something imperceptible to anyone but the Vulture, who missed all the excitement while unconscious, the Goblin opens his hands, dropping a tiny vial. Before either hero can react, the vial breaks open on the ground at the feet of the Goblin, creating a thick cloud of green smoke.

Expectedly, the smoke clears and both the Goblin and the Vulture are nowhere in site.

"Come back here, cowards! I'm not finished with you yet!" The Punisher stands up and runs to where the villains had stood seconds before, and he too disappears among the tall buildings and dark filthy alleys of Downtown.

**Well, that certainly could have worked out better** Miguel thinks as he turns to the people in the audience. They all just stare right back at him, not quite sure of what the masked man will do next.

"Is there a Doc-in-a-Box?"

He expected someone to say something, anything to break this silence. Then Miguel notices they are no longer staring at him, but through him. No, not through--BEHIND HIM! **Oh no** is all he can think as he turns around slowly to gather it all in. All the people, all the filth of Downtown, all the destruction their fight has caused, and--

"Oh come now: I'm Spider-Man! Certainly dropping a building on my head isn't going to finish me off; I just never know when to quit!"

Rising from the pile of bricks and cement that was formerly know as Chase- Manhattan comes the bogus Spider-Man!

Swatting away bricks as he comes up from the pile of debris, he continues to talk: "You know, maybe I've underestimated you, Spidey, old pal. After all you've been through today, I have to admire your fortitude. But you needed the Punisher to whip out his "Uranium-236 Space Modulator" to try to finish the job, because for all your powers and all your cunning, you couldn't do it alone. Then it occurs to me that maybe, since I'm Spider-Man, just maybe I need some help, too, you know? I would be Spider-Man of course, and you could be my sidekick and best buddy, the Spectacular Spider-Kid! Yeah, sounds derivative, I know, like a bad comic book, but you get the idea, huh? What do you say?"

Spider-Man climbs off the pile of rubble and walks toward Spider-Man, hand outstretched.

The crowd that was around the original Spider-Man begin to back away nice and slow.

"Go frag yourself."

Spider-Man stops ten paces short of Miguel O'Hara. "Is that anyway to talk to me? All I ever wanted was to be your friend, but I'll kill you if I have to."

**"Old pal"? "Sidekick"? "Best buddy"? "Friend"?** Miguel's mind never stops, and maybe he's finally put this one together. Too exhausted to go any more rounds with any other villains, Miguel takes the chance that he can unnerve this one and gain an edge.

"Flipside?!?"

"Uh-uh, wrong answer. That program was retired. I'm Spider-Man. But I'm afraid you guessed the mystery word, and for that, your reward is your own head on a platter! Good night, sweet Spider-Man!"

Flipsde takes one more step and Spider-Man tenses his straining muscles for whatever he's got left.

Then the asphault between them is blown away by a new energy discharge.

"Punisher, stay out of this!" demands Flipside. "You'll get your turn!"

"I'm not the Punisher, freak, but I'm definitely taking my turn right now."

The man and the machine turn to look at the new challenger.

Tall.

Mean.

Chaps.

Red handkerchief.

Cowboy hat.

Cyborg.

"Venture?"

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EPILOGUE:

Somewhere, that fat man is still laughing.

"I have you, Spider-Man! I have you now!"

More laughter.

Took long enough to get this to you, didn't it? Sorry about that, but it's here now, and isn't that all that matters? Isn't it enough to promise that Spider- Man #5 should be out within another week? Can you forgive me if I tell you that it wil be the end to "The Fall of Alchemax" and will be so exciting that you'll get goosebumps? Well, I can't promise goosebumps, but I think it will be pretty neat. So tell your friends! Drillnot wrote another Spider-Man story! All hail! XLCR!