X-men 2099UG #44

The blackness surrounds him. Xi'an Chi Xan is no longer anywhere. A moment ago, he witnessed an act he is sure has damned his own soul. He slammed his eyelids shut when all hope had escaped him and then reopened them to literally see nothing at all. He feels even less. Everything is absent within him, and he is absent from everywhere else.

"Ho-o-ol-l-y shock!" Junkpile growls under his breath, feeling the back of his neck with a weak right hand.

"What? We're back?" Maim asks, looking around. She sees the rest of the Lawless standing in a street of Saba'Ur, along with Rolam Seth, their guide.

"Yes, you're back. Have you found your answer?" Seth asks.

"Shockit!" Haiku mutters, her voice clearly coming from the speakers on her hoverchair. "We were in there for a few seconds?! It took a few moments of self-examination to discover what we suspected all along?" Haiku is not pleased with what the Lawless have discovered.

"Yes, Haiku," Ten Eagles answers. "But this sense of disorientation is starting to overwhelm me. Are you guys feeling like this?" he asks, struggling to stay on his feet.

The Reverend shifts his weight on his left foot and raises his arms slightly to keep his balance, "So what do we know? That maybe we weren't in control there?"

"Of course not!" Mongrel says. "I don't like being controlled. Something made us do those things against our will. But what are we supposed to do now? I mean, now that we know."

"Maybe we can figure that when Xi'an wakes up?" the Reverend proposes.

"What?!" the rest of the Lawless and Seth say unison. They all turn their heads and see Xi'an still in the meditation. His body is standing, motionless. His breathing is slow and regular. His eyes are still moving back and forth behind his eyelids.

"The mutant is still in his mind!" Seth exclaims, more to confirm it for himself than for the others.

"Get with it, you bastard."

What? he thinks to himself. Xi'an heard someone talking, but he could not actually believe it.

"I told you to get with it."

What am I supposed to do? he thinks, this time directing the question to the source of the voice.

"Focus, damn you. You worked hard enough to stay in you mind, but now you are confused. Focus, and at least you can get rid of this darkness."

Xi'an does not question the directions. He knows when he witnessed the boy's murder, he lost almost full control. He could feel himself being pulled back into consciousness. However, he was not going to go back to reality without some hard evidence. Xi'an is determined to discover the truth.

"Why didn't he wake up with the rest of us?" Junkpile asks.

None of the Lawless have an answer, but in the back of each of their minds they know Xi'an would not settle for a truth shrouded in mystery. He would not accept the answers they have found for themselves.

"He is still deep within his mind! He will not wake up!" Seth exclaims, a look of shock still on his face. The Lawless realize that their mysterious guide is more surprised than the rest of them. Seth continues to examine Xi'an carefully, looking him up and down.

"What could he find out that we don't already know?" the Reverend thinks aloud.

"Plenty," Haiku answers.

"No. Not here. The answer is not in Neuvo Sol."

The black has faded and now Xi'an stands on the stage area of the Neuvo Sol Archology. The room is entirely empty, save for his own presence. He was told to focus, so Xi'an grabbed on the first solid thing he could find within his mind. The Neuvo Sol Archology was the place where Xi'an recruited the final component of his strikeforce, Tim Fitzgerald. It was in the Archology that Xi'an realized that Xavier's dream could continue. Xi'an would continue the legacy of the X-Men. Xi'an would make the world better, he would make up for his sins. He was no longer part of the Lawless.

"Focus!"

Sorry, Xi'an thinks.

"You should be. Now, you have to go farther back. You must return to Saba'Ur. You will figure it all out there."

Xi'an hears the voice, but does not do anything. He examines the walls of the Archology, his eyebrows low, emphasizing the look of regret on his face.

"It will be okay. It was not a mistake. We will come back here and figure it all out later. Right now, you have to get back to Saba'Ur. The truth remains there, you just have to look for it."

The colors begin to swirl.

"But he should have awakened with the rest of you," Seth says, clearly agitated.

"So? He didn't. Knowing Xi'an, he'll find what we were lookin' for," Junkpile says.

"Yes, he is resourceful and he can accomplish his goals," Haiku concurs.

Seth looks at the Lawless standing there, showing confidence in their leader. He knows they are aware something more is to be found, and he watches as they patiently wait for Xi'an to return with the answers. "Perhaps," Seth says.

"Now we are going to wait," Ten Eagles announces. He begins to lean back and he catches his weight on his left foot so he does not fall over. Ten Eagles is still slightly disorientated from the astral adventure. He straightens and shakes his head quickly, as though to clear his head. "Don't disappoint us," he whispers to himself, lowering his head in silent hope.

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He is back at the foot of the steps. Xi'an looks up the stairs, noticing the brown hue to everything. A few sparsely placed clouds in the sky hang overhead.

"Up the steps."

Xi'an does as he is commanded. He slowly begins ascending the stairs, looking around him like he did the first time. He reaches the porch and notices the rocking chair and the green color of the wood again. Xi'an pushes the door open with his right hand and hears the squeak of the hinges. He sees the corridor leading into the kitchen area, observing the darkness of that room from a lack of sunlight. The steps with the grey carpet leading to the second floor is the last thing he notices.

"You made it this far. Keep going."

I do not want to go on, Xi'an thinks.

"Yeah? Me neither. Now move it."

Xi'an hesitates.

"Move!!"

Whether out of fear or anger, Xi'an is not sure; he begins his trek on the bottom step. Xi'an truly does not want to continue. The vision was horrible and he does not want to see it again. He is now five steps on his way, with seven more to go.

"I am only making you do this so you can be satisfied. You all came here to find the truth, but only your mind is strong enough to discover it. You have to do it yourself."

Three more steps until the top floor.

"Do not worry about it. I am here with you. You are not alone in this."

Xi'an reaches the top and waits for the familiar scene to play out. The terrified man dressed in a white tee shirt and blue jeans runs down the hallway, through Xi'an, and into the bedroom. The man's clothing is a detail he seemed to forget last time. A moment later, the younger Xi'an follows, wearing black leather, carrying a plasma rifle.

"Look at him."

I see him, Xi'an thinks. His ghostly counterpart walks though Xi'an and stops at the door on the right wall. He kicks the door in and raises his plasma rifle and fires a shot. This time Xi'an hears the thump of the body slamming into the ground. Xi'an's counterpart continues down the hallway as he runs into the bedroom. He sees the man lying dead on his stomach.

Oh no, he thinks.

"Yes, right now, that boy is thinking about his father. He is wondering if his father is all right. He is about to determine that for himself."

At that moment, the closet door is pushed open, and the child comes out to take a closer look at his father. Dressed in identical apparel of his father's, blue jeans and a white tee shirt, he stands over the body, and then kneels down next to it. He places his hand on his father's back to touch him one last time, although the child did not know that would be the last thing he would touch.

I do not want to watch this again, Xi'an thinks, almost begging for it to end.

"You are going to have to if you want the truth."

At that moment, the young, vicious Xi'an appears in the hallway, stopping at the doorway and turns to face the bedroom.

"Look at him!"

I see him, Xi'an thinks.

"Look how he hesitates. You saw it yourself before. He does not want to do it."

I know. But why does he? Why... why do... I... do it? I must have....

Xi'an's thoughts are cut off when he begins feeling a sharp pain in his midsection. He wraps his arms across his stomach and bends over, holding back the urge to release a moan.

"Yeah. The cliche is still an undeniable fact; the truth hurts." As the memory-figure of Xi'an raises his plasma rifle to line up with the boy's head, the real Xi'an does nothing. He does not continue thinking about it anymore.

"You better not dare stop thinking about the truth because of some pain! What is it about this event that you see?"

Xi'an looks again, examining his old self. He studies his eyes and his movements. Now the pain attacks his abdomen with such ferocity, he falls to his knees and uses his arms to prevent him from falling on his face.

"What do you see, dammit??"

I am... Xi'an hesitates. I am not in....

With every word, the pain grows. When he stops, the pain begins to subside. Xi'an would prefer not to hurt anymore.

"Say it!"

BLAM!!

"He should have woken up by now," Seth says, now visibly disturbed.

"Look, if you have some kind of problem with this..." Junkpile begins.

"You brought us here to find the truth and now Xi'an is doing it," Haiku interrupts. "You should keep quiet and let him finish. We must be patient."

Seth keeps his head still as his eyes pan over the Lawless. They all stand near their leader, who is currently on a journey that should have ended some time ago. Seth's eyes narrow slightly as he ponders a few curiosities in his mind. These outlaws might find out the truth and finally put the events of Saba'Ur behind them, all happening sooner than expected.

"Try it again."

No. It does not hurt anymore, Xi'an thinks.

"That is because you have not figured it out yet. It is going to hurt some more, trust me."

Xi'an is no longer anywhere. Again, it is in the blackness where he rests. With a few thoughts, Xi'an could easily return to the memory of Saba'Ur and face his past. And if he really wanted to, he could stop all of it and wake himself up and return to reality. But even Xi'an, despite the hesitation and the pain, cannot turn his back on the truth. He is only hesitant because of the pain; that is a normal human reaction.

"Come on!"

Just give me a moment, Xi'an thinks, actually annoyed. Xi'an prepares himself for everything he is about to see again. It is easier for Xi'an to return this time and the colors swirl violently and suddenly he is back at the foot of the steps.

With anger and annoyance, he takes the steps two at a time. He does not want to wait for the meaningless details to play out to get to the important things. Beginning again at the front steps of the house means Xi'an will have to wait a few moments until he can see the scene play out. He wants to get it over with as soon as possible.

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"Do you mutants believe you are prepared for the truth?" Seth asks, almost looking down on them.

"Of course," Haiku answers.

"When why is it that only Xi'an Chi Xan remained in his mind searching for the truth, while you all returned to consciousness? Is he the strongest among you, or is he the only one willing to search?"

Junkpile shakes his head, as though disappointed in the outsider's judgment, and says, "Xi'an ain't the strongest one."

"And it is you, then?" Seth asks, in a tone that clearly shows he does not believe it.

"Maybe, pal," Junkpile answers, taking a step closer to their guide.

Ten Eagles interrupts, "Look, Rolam, you are the one who brought us here and led us in that exercise. You wanted to help us find the truth and now you speak to us like we were playing a fool's game. If Xi'an is only one with enough drive to find out for the rest of us, then that is the way it is. He was our leader years ago, maybe he feels it is his responsibility."

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"It is up to you. You are the only one left here, remember."

I know, Xi'an thinks. He waits for the man and his former self in the hallway on the second floor. He stands firm near the door of the bedroom this time. His arms are folded, resting against his muscular chest, which is only more prominent when he stands fully erect and bracing himself for the next few intense moments. His heart beats faster as the adrenaline rushes through him, as though he about to enter battle. Xi'an hopes he is ready.

He sees the man run down the hall, a look of terror across his face. The man quickly passes through Xi'an, but Xi'an continues to stare down the hall. He does not even notice the subtle details this time; he did not hear the man's footsteps, his heavy breathing, or even the slamming of the door. The younger Xi'an quickly follows, carrying the rifle in his hand. The former X- Man does not hear the footfalls of his counterpart

Xi'an is sure that the voice he has been hearing is trying to say something to him, but he has blocked it all out. He has charged himself for the next few tense moments. Xi'an is ready for the pain.

The younger Xi'an passes through Xi'an's astral form and kicks the bedroom door open. Xi'an meets the ghost-image's eyes for a moment and sees a shadow lurking behind them. As Xi'an processes what he sees, he grows wide-eyed and his counterpart passes through him. Xi'an breaks his concentration and turns to follow his counterpart as he kicks the door open. Xi'an watches as the man takes a step away from the closet door. He watches as the man is struck in the ribs by the plasma rifle and falls the ground facedown. Now that his concentration is broken, the blast from the rifle seems louder than before. He turns his head and looks at his younger self continue down the hall. He glances back into the room and sees the closet door open and the young boy walk out.

"Follow him."

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"It is all your responsibility," Seth tells them. "Among you, Xi'an seems to be the only one worthy."

"Worthy?" Auntie Maim and Junkpile echo.

"Yes. Despite the fact you all fear the past, Xi'an is the only one willing to face it," Seth says.

The Lawless stop for a moment to ponder that. Their leader took the same journey into the past they did, but only he remained to continue. The team of outlaws realize once again why Xi'an was their chosen leader.

"Xi'an led us. He is the most worthy of us," Ten Eagles admits.

"He is the ONLY worthy one," Seth corrects him.

The Reverend raises an eyebrow, glancing at Seth and Ten Eagles and asks, "Worthy of what?"

"Existence," Seth answers.

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Adorned in the clothes that helped him earn the code name, Desert Ghost, Xi'an follows his younger self, dressed in the black leather, down the hallway. The younger one stops at the closed door and kicks it open. His gun raised, he peers into the bathroom.

"Now touch him."

Hesitant, but determined, Xi'an raises his arm and passes his hand through his counterpart's right shoulder.

"No, no. Concentrate. You must believe this is real, and not some forgotten memory. It is real. It is now. Try it again."

Xi'an breathes slowly and, just as fast, raises his arm again. He notices the ghostly version of himself is carefully inspecting the small bathroom. Xi'an reaches out to touch him and this time he feels something.

It... hurts.

"Continue to touch him."

Xi'an's hand has passed through his counterpart's shoulder, and he feel it has substance. He leaves his hand in the shoulder, resisting the burning in his stomach and aches in his joints.

"What do you feel?"

Pain.

"Do you know what that pain is?"

The truth.

"Partly right. What do you see? Focus and see inside."

Xi'an closes his eyes and calms himself, focusing on the task and not the pain. I see that there is... something else here, he thinks.

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A sound of disgust can be heard from Haiku's speakers and then, "You say we are not worthy of existing when you hide like a coward when your family was brutally slain?"

"It is also a question of survival," Seth says. "It would be foolish to face a band of killers who already destroyed many of the people here. And remember who was responsible for their deaths? You pathetic warriors live outside the laws of your own government, as though you are above such laws? You are below it all."

Junkpile takes another step closer to Seth, clenching his fists and turning his arms up to not only intimidate Seth, but to show him Junkpile is ready for a fight. "Look, pal. You've been treading this line with me and you are about to cross it."

"Do not make the mistake of challenging me," Seth warns.

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"He is going the other way."

Xi'an opens his eyes and sees his younger self turn and come toward him. He feels the apparition pass through him and the pain grows for a moment. Xi'an gasps and quickly extends his right foot to shift his weight so he does not fall over from the sudden disorientation. Once the ghost is no longer in contact with Xi'an, the pain subsides.

"Turn around. It is time you settled this. You do not get any more chances to replay the scene, so make it count."

Xi'an turns, still leaning forward slightly, and lifts his eyes to see his younger self continue down the hall, toward the bedroom. He thinks about the boy who is about to be murdered by his own hand. He thinks about not having any control over it. He feels the anger building within him and he turns it outward. Xi'an grits his teeth and allows a low growl to escape his throat. As the younger Xi'an turns to face the boy in the bedroom, Xi'an quickly runs and stands behind him. The ghost-vision of X'an raises his rifle and aims it at the boy's head. The former X-Man thinks of only one possible option, and he takes a step forward and his mind is absorbed into the specific memory of himself at that moment. The pain is almost enough to cause a heart attack, he thinks.

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"What, you got some powers or somethin'?" Junkpile asks. "You wouldn't be so tough against me and the rest of us here 'less you had an ace."

"Perhaps I do," Seth answers.

The argument is interrupted by the Reverend. "Look!"

The five other Lawless and Seth turn their heads toward the Reverend and then quickly to Xi'an. They watch as his facial features change to express quick stabbing pain and then dull agony. They notice the sweat running down his face and neck. The six watch as his body falls backward to the ground and reacts to pain all over. Xi'an body writhes on the ground, covering him in dust. He breathes heavily, but quickly.

"The hel?" Auntie Maim whispers.

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"Yeah, it hurts, but it is not unbearable. Do you know what the pain is, yet?"

Not... yet, he thinks.

"Well, open your eyes and find out."

Xi'an opens his eyes and finds himself standing where his ghostly counterpart stood. He is dressed in the black leather outfit, holding the plasma rifle. He looks and immediately notices the boy kneeling beside his father. Xi'an notices, however, the boy seems frozen, as though the scene was put on pause.

As per usual reactions of the human mind on things such as dreams, Xi'an accepts the frozen state of the scene as reality and is suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of relief and then suddenly confusion.

"No. It is not real."

And with that, Xi'an arms is involuntarily raised and the gun is aimed at the boy.

What? No!

"Do not think you are in control. Realize that you were actually here once, but observe what you actually did then."

Xi'an lets go of his control and allows himself to observe what happened. He remembers standing here with his rifle pointed at the boy's head. He feels himself resisting the urge to pull the trigger. He remembers resisting to kill, but he could never stop himself. He feels the struggle within himself now. Something is pushing him. Something is making him do things he does not want to do. Something is manipulating him!

Xi'an, as though he the answer was there the entire time, turns his head as far as he can and looks behind himself. He sees the dark silhouette of a large powerful being behind him. The being's arms reach out and its hands are on Xi'an's shoulders, as though the creature is literally controlling him. Xi'an focuses no longer on the memory of murders, but solely on the being. He pushes his mind into it, and begins to feel the pain wash over him again.

The creature is smiling, Xi'an thinks. I can feel it. The voice that has been directing Xi'an is probably saying something to him, but Xi'an cannot hear it. He is having difficulty maintaining his focus and resisting the pain at the same time. He feels as though his gut is about to implode while his head is growing larger and larger. It is painful, but not intolerable. Suddenly, he feels the creature's hand touch his own right hand on the rifle. Xi'an turns and watches as the gun fires and the blast strikes the boy's head. Xi'an shuts his eyes for a moment, as though he wanted to look away before witnessing anything, but he saw it all. The boy's body falls to the ground across his father. The pain disappears.

Xi'an realizes, finally, that he was never really in control that day. The Lawless were manipulated by a powerful force for whatever sadistic reason. The scene continues, as well. It does not end with the boy's death. Xi'an is still in the doorway when he determines that he and the rest of the Lawless are not responsible for the murders in Saba'Ur! They were only pawns in a situation they could not control! Behind the sudden relief and excitement, Xi'an hears something.

"What is the pain?!"

Xi'an realizes what the pain has been the entire time. Xi'an can move freely, now that the scene is over. He turns to face the dark creature. He can only make out its shape.

"What is the pain?!"

The creature's defenses placed in my mind so that I may never find out the truth, Xi'an thinks. With that, Xi'an plunges his left hand into the dark silhouette. It was the creature in his mind that never allowed him to see clearly and now Xi'an's powers are causing the creature to feel pain. His molecular-disrupting touch causes the figure to writhe and Xi'an watches it closely.

It comes into focus for brief moments. Xi'an notices the colors of purple, blue, and gray flash from the black on the creature. After a few moments, the creature thrashes about the hallway in pain from Xi'an's resistance, and it bangs itself against the walls. In a brief flash, Xi'an sees the image of a man dressed in royal robes. In another, the dark figure becomes a withered old man. In another, he becomes the guide, Rolam Seth! Finally, in what looks as though the creature is screaming, it disappears quickly from the hallway. Xi'an has beaten the creature's defenses in his mind and can suddenly see everything clearly. The brown hue to everything is gone.

The mutant blessed and cursed with power of life and death turns around one final time before waking up. He looks at the bodies lying in the bedroom. Some of the details have changed, such as the boy is wearing a different brown outfit, but his father still wears the white tee shirt and blue jeans. There is a white carpet underneath them as well. And Xi'an notices a small puddle of blood on the carpet leading from the man's mouth.

Xi'an finally speaks since first arriving in his mind, "We're sorry."

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"We're sorry," Xi'an says, while waking up in the ethereal plane.

"Xi'an!" Maim shouts, while she and the rest of the Lawless rush to help him up from the ground. Xi'an is still rather groggy from his trip.

"What happened, boss?" the Reverend says, standing at the end of the line of Lawless.

Xi'an, standing with Mongrel, Auntie Maim, and Haiku to his left, and Junkpile, Ten Eagles, and the Reverend to his right, says, "He is responsible. That... creature... is responsible."

They all look over to Rolam Seth, who stands very confident in front of them. The grin on his face angers the Lawless even more.

"Controlled by that guy?" Mongrel asks.

Xi'an shakes his head while gasping for air. "That... creature."

"Time to finish what we started here," the Reverend says, raising a gun and pointing it at Rolam.

Seth only laughs and says, "You fools! I know now who is worthy among you. I have been watching you all from the beginning and I will be watching you until your ends! Your attempts to stray from the paths I have let you lead will bring about your destruction!"

Junkpile breaks from the formation of Lawless and charges Seth. Peculiarly, he passes right through him, and the image of Seth fizzles quickly and returns to normal.

"Holography?!" a shocked Victor Ten Eagles asks out loud.

"Goodbye, 'Lawless'," Seth mocks between laughter. "Continue your pathetic lives, knowing that I am always there!" And with that, the image fades.

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Moments later, after absorbing the last few minutes and a recap of Xi'an's adventure to the rest of them, the Lawless stand in the street, looking at each other.

"Holography's your department, Victor. How did he do that?" Mongrel asks. "I mean, he was casting shadows and his voice sounded right for where he's standing."

"That was very advanced," Ten Eagles replies. "I doubt it is possible to replicate that type of technology, at least at this day and age."

"Well, what now?" Maim asks.

"I go back to my business." Haiku answers. "We will put this whole episode behind us. We know now that we were not ultimately responsible. I am at ease."

"Yeah, well, I want to get out of here as soon as possible, too," Junkpile states.

"But I thought the mind was a powerful thing," the Reverend says. "I mean, if we willed it, couldn't we resist the creature's manipulations?"

"If he was a powerful psi-talent, it is impossible to resist," Xi'an answers. "However, I have a strange feeling that the creature was not a telepath."

"If that is true, then that creature had some real talent," Haiku says.

"The thing is, if we all believed that Seth was really here, I have to wonder what else could have been a fabrication," Ten Eagles ponders.

The Lawless look at each other, with glimpses of partial relief, sadness, and grief. The turbulent memories of their last days together are finally over. They no longer have to bear the responsiblity of the town's destruction. They could only feel sadness for the innocents who lost their lives to the sick experiment that went on here. It will take time, but the pain of the truth will subside. The Lawless will never forget what went on here, but they will never need to return. This chapter in their lives ends today.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, it certainly hasn't been fun," Mongrel says with half a smile.

"Yes, well. This is probably our last official day together," Xi'an says. "It is time to put our pasts behind us. We will all go off and continue our lives. Keep an eye out, though, for if the creature speaks the truth, he is watching you. Goodbye, my friends."

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After the rest of the Lawless leave, Xi'an thinks back to Ten Eagles' words: 'I have to wonder what else could have been a fabrication'. Being only human, Xi'an cannot help but wonder as well. And after thirty minutes of searching, Xi'an finds the familiar house that will be forever in his memories. He climbs the steps, enters the front door and walks up the stairs. He ignores the colors and the dust and the cobwebs. He turns down the hall and stops at the doorway. He slowly peers in, hoping against a false hope that it will not be there.

There are no bodies there, but Xi'an looks closer at the room. The white carpet has a brown stain on it. The dry, crusty stain has been there for years, it seems like. And Xi'an breathes a little easier, now that he does not have to worry guess about the truth any longer.

Xi'an will leave Saba'Ur in ten minutes, about the time it takes to walk from the house to the gates, and will leave the city to stand, filled only with phantoms of the past. He will go on from here, and finally move on with his life. The mutant will find purpose and meaning in his life.

NEXT ISSUE: Be here for issue #45, that will be guess written by our very own Jay Huitt-- J5 to his fans. He'll be taking us on a faun farewell moment with the Freakshow and on one the X-Men's own.