Note: Author preceeds part written.

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Written by Dee

"That's it, I'm kicking ass," Dee announced as she watched Fairy dissapear. "I am sick of this, there are way too many peaple pussing out!"

Grumbling, Lisa laughed at her freind. "I expected this from Jade, but Fairy and Kara? WUSSES!"

Sting put his arm around Dee as she sighed. "This is bad, I am stuck with his royal pain in the ass while they get to live it up."

"Well..." Frank n' Furter drawled, breaking his silence. "I know a way to get them."

Strikeing a pose against Lisa, he flexed a fishnet clad leg idly. "How's that?" Jareth demanded, looking more than a little annoyed.

"Hmmm. All in due time," he purred.

***

"Looks like we are home free," Kara announced as she gave Fairy a welcoming hug. Glancing around she gave Jade, Luke and the starlights a big smile.

"I wouldn't say that just yet," said Fairy as she hugged her freind back. "If I know the Lisas and Dee, they won't give up."

***

"YOU WANT ME TO *WHAT*?!" Jareth blushed, causing Dee to tip over laughing.

"Really," Frank said with dismay, as he ran a finger down Jareths chest. "Arn'y you *man* enough? Hmm?"

Sending Dee a death glare, he crossed his arms over his chest. "I will not. I have *some* pride."

"You do not," countered Princess. "In any other cirumstances you'd be *excited* to do it."

Sting smiled and hugged Dee closer. "This is dire, are you afriad?"

"I'm not baby," came an all too cheerful voice.

"Well, helll-o." Frank whistled. "You are just the *man* to help us."

Seeing all the eyes on him, filled with hope and not hate, Austin grinned a toothy grin. "Smashing!"

***

Glancing at the computer screen, Luke let out a terrifyed gasp. Something was blocking the screen from the view of the surrounding area. Zooming out, the blockage focused into a british flag... zoomed out more it became smaller... it was attached to something... to someone's ass.

"Noo!" Luke wailed, as was his way. Everyone gathered around, horrified as they watched Austin "get down" with his bad self infront of their camera.

"Dee," Jade moaned. "Why?!"

"I'll just turn off the camera," Kara reasoned at Autin shook is derrier closer to the lense.

Pressing the button, nothing happened. It was jammed, and from the feel in the air, Jareth had something to do with it. "I'm going to kill them," Jade wailed as she closed her eyes, but it was no use. She could see the British spy shaking his bum in her mind's eye.

Outside, Dee and Princess were laughing. "See how long they last... when he takes off the speedo!"

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Written by Jade

"Ugh! Enough of that!" Jade shouted, pushing a red button on the console. Immediately they witnessed the British spy jump two feet in the air as a laser beam lit up his backside.

"That is not groovy baby," Austin said, looking at the camera and rubbing his bum. "Come and give me a little mojo?"

Another laser and Austin was running for his hide!

"That'll teach you!" Jade yelled. "Will they never give up?"

"Nope, but at least they are going in the wrong direction," Kara smiled.

Austin ran as fast as he could to save his bum from further torture.

Dee was waiting patiently for Sting to come back from, well, come on people he had to go! Tapping her foot on the ground, she looked behind her watching for any sign of Sting but still nothing. Turning back around, surprise filled her as Austin ran right into her knocking her backwards. Tripping on his own feet, he fell on top of her.

Catching his breath, he looked down into her face and a smile crossed his features. "Oh yeah, baby, this is more like it."

"Get off me Austin!" Dee shrieked, just before he planted the great kiss of doom. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her tightly, working his mojo on her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Now that is settled, let's just get you situated, shall we?" David said, walking through the door. "Follow me," he called back.

Leading them through the living room to the other side of the domicile, David opened a door and ushered them inside. There were two twin beds in the sparse room. Fairy looked around and smiled.

"I hope this will do," Luke said from behind them.

"Yes it will be fine, thanks." Fairy stated then grinned. "Why do you have an extra room?" she asked innocently.

"Oh, well this was just in case they got mad at us." Luke said softly.

"We can't very well be left out in the cold, now can we?" David asked, a grin upon his lips.

"Speaking of cold, why is it so hot in here?" Fairy asked, fanning herself.

"You'll get used to it. Jade is always cold," Luke replied.

"Yeah, he can't keep her warm enough, she has to turn the heat up," David threw in, laughing at his own joke.

"That wasn't funny," Luke stated seriously, walking out the door.

"Okay, sorry. Well, goodnight Fairy and the rest of you. See you in the morning. Do try to get some rest," he said, pulling the door closed behind them.

"I was only kidding Luke," David said, a chuckle in his voice as Luke closed the door on him.

"No sense of humor that one," he remarked, walking in to the other room and shutting the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dammit Austin! Get the hell off me!" Dee screamed then shrieked as Austin placed a love-hold on her that should never have been, just before his lips covered hers once again.

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Written by Kara

Jareth managed to pry Austin off of Dee.

"Ugh!" Dee scrambled away from the spy, shaking in disgust and wiping her mouth.

"If you two are finished " Jareth stopped upon noticing Dee's deathly glare. "I think we should rest for the night. It's getting dark and we have no idea where we are."

"I second that." Gemma said. The group nodded in agreement and each settled down to rest. Dee clung tightly to Sting, eyeing Austin suspiciously. Jareth tried to find a quiet spot where PP couldn't bother him, but had no such luck.

"Why don't you come over and sleep with us you sexy thing, you." The Doc smiled mischievously at Jareth, and Jareth cringed.

"You two can 'sleep' on your own. I'm going to be over," he glanced around, "somewhere else."

PP and the doc laughed and Jareth stalked off in search of some peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jade opened her door slowly, peering out through the darkness. A smile crossed her face as she lightly knocked on Kara's door. Kara's door swung open silently, revealing Kara glancing back over her shoulder at David asleep.

"Should we wake them?" Kara asked in a hushed voice.

Jade shook her head. "Let them sleep a bit longer."

Walking softly to the kitchen, they giggled knowing what they had planned. Jade walked to the cupboard to pull out a bowl, when unexpectedly, a cup fell out with it, falling to the floor. Hitting the floor, it made a large crashing sound as it bounced.

Jade giggled, holding the bowl in her hands. "Oops."

"All you have to say is 'oops'?" Kara asked, exasperated.

"What do you want me to say?" Jade smiled back. Pulling a box from the counter cupboard, she set it down on the tabletop.

"You're going to use a box?" Kara asked, surprised.

"Why not? If I can't nuke it or bake it, what's the use?" Jade shrugged her shoulders, opening the refrigerator.

"You are so silly," Kara snickered.

"Am not, just practical," Jade replied pulling out the ingredients she needed. Walking back over to the bowl, she put everything in the bowl and grabbed the mixer.

"Wait a minute!" Kara protested.

"What?" Jade asked.

"You can't use that. You'll make too much noise," Kara replied.

"Oh yeah, sorry. I suppose I will just have to do it the hard way, huh?" Jade asked, pulling a big spoon from the drawer. She began stirring the mixture slowly, then stopped all of a sudden. "Here, take this," she handed the spoon to Kara.

"Why me? I'm not good at baking." She replied.

"Well then maybe you would like to grease the pans?" Jade asked, looking back at her.

"No, this is just fine." Kara replied.

Jade grabbed the Pam and lightly sprayed the pans. She looked at Kara trying to stir the concoction. Laughing, she grabbed some flour and tossed it in the bottom of the pan. Shaking it around lightly, a wicked thought crossed her mind.

Kara stirred as best she could. "Are you about ready to take over here?" She asked, just as flour flew past her face. "What the-?" Looking up, she saw Jade with a handful of flour. "Don't do anything rash," she cautioned. Jade flung it at her, covering Kara in flour. "I can't believe you just did that!" Kara exclaimed.

Without a second thought, Kara gathered a handful of mix from the bowl and flung it. Jade shrieked in surprise as it landed in her hair, and glared at Kara, who was doubled over laughing.

"You fiend!" Jade picked up an extra egg and threw it at Kara. Kara ducked, and it hit another target.

"Why can't you two act your age?" David asked, wiping egg from his face.

"What do you mean?" the two asked innocently.

"Oh why do I even bother?" he mumbled.

"Because you love it and you know it!" Kara shot back.

"What a mess," Luke's voice cut through the air. Kara and Jade looked around at the chaos they created.

"Oh no," Jade muttered.

"We have our work cut out for us now." Kara replied, grabbing a cloth.

Jade started mixing a new batch of batter while Kara cleaned up around her. Luke and David hung streamers in green, silver, pink, and black.

"I can't believe you are so messy when you bake. You aren't this bad when you do anything else," Kara stated, wiping up batter from the counter top.

"But the mess is half the fun," Jade replied, shutting the oven door.

"What now?" David asked.

"We have to get the rest of the stuff. Luke, take David and get the package from the cellar," Jade instructed, pulling out wrapping paper from a closet.

"What kind of paper is that?" Kara asked.

"Sailor Neptune, and Sailor Uranus. Fairy's favorite characters," she replied, spreading it on the counter.

"Oh," Kara replied, putting the last of the dishes in the sink. "You better check the cake," she mentioned.

"Oh yeah, you'll burn it," Jade replied with a smile.

"I can't help it if I burn cookies on an air bake pan. That takes talent, you know?" Kara replied with a grin.

"Sure, I hear ya. You are such a brat," Jade stated.

"I am not," Kara said.

"Are so," Jade argued.

"Am not," Kara argued back.

"Not what?" Luke asked, walking back into the room.

"She's a brat, isn't she Luke?" Jade asked, nodding her head at Kara.

"I am inclined to agree with her," Luke stated.

"Me too Kara," David stated, a sly grin on his face.

"Oh an ambush! What luck," Kara giggled.

"Where do you want this?" Luke asked, holding up a box.

"Put it on the paper and David, you should wrap streamers around that," she pointed to what he was carrying. Turning around, she pulled the cake from the oven and set it to cool. "Kara, would you go ahead and wrap that?" Jade asked, sliding tape across the counter.

"Sure," she replied. Carefully folding the paper, she had it wrapped in no time. "Ta-da!"

"That's incredible. That looks so professional. I am horrid at that. Great job Kara," Jade said, putting the cake on the counter.

Icing the cake was the last thing to do, when they heard a door creak open. "Hide!" Luke stated, ducking behind the counter and pulling Jade with him. Kara and David ran around the corner.

"What's going on out here?" a soft, sleepy voice asked. Fairy walked slowly through the dimly lit room.

"Surprise!" The four yelled, making her jump. Regaining her composure, she smiled at them.

"You guys didn't have to do this," she said softly.

"We know," Jade replied. "Happy Birthday Allie."

"Open your presents!" David exclaimed, placing the package on the counter top.

Fairy sat down and carefully pulled the paper off. Inside she found art supplies. "This is great. Thanks," she said, smiling up at them.

"Just a second, you are forgetting one more thing." Kara walked into the hallway and brought out an easel wrapped amongst different colored streamers. She handed it to Fairy. "Happy Birthday Fairy."

"Okay, let's eat!" David shouted as he saw the Starlights finally make their entrance.

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Written by Dee

After chewing down at least four breath mints, brushing her teeth and taking some TUMS (smut) for her killer heartburn, Dee shivvered in disgust. This was getting out of hand. She could hear Princess panting somewhere in the darkness, and she could *feel* Austin's eyes on her. The horny bastard.

There had to be some clues she was missing... Austin had come running at her faster than a speeding bullet. At her... that meant the laser came from the other direction... that meant...

A grin spread across Dee's face. Leaning down she planted a kiss on Stings forehead, and curled up next to him. Tomarrow would be a good day.

Some distance from the smiling girl, Jareth was spitting bullets. He could hear Princess moaning, Dee rustling around with Sting, Gemma swooning, and an occasional whisper about a "lightsaber" from Lisa W. Feeling terrible alone, his eyes wandered to Austin... and revulsion filled him.

This was horrible torture. He was going to kill Jade and Kara when he found them.

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Written by Jade

After having the cake, Jade looked around and wondered how they would get out of the mess they were in. Dee was relentless and so was Princess. Once they got an idea in their mind, there was no stopping them. Her smile faded as she kept coming up with nothing.

"What's wrong Jade?" Kara asked, noting her serious behavior.

"Nothing," Jade replied, placing a smile across her lips.

"Oh no, don't try to act innocent. What were you thinking about?" Kara inquired.

"Oh nothing really, just trying to think of some way to stay alive and not get caught."

"I have an idea," Fairy spoke up, then blushed when all eyes fell on her.

"Well, what is it?" David asked. "Come on, speak up."

"Will you just let her be," Luke interjected.

"Guys!" Kara said.

"What?" they answered in unison.

"Just knock it off, will you?" Jade threw in. Glancing at Fairy, she waited patiently to hear what she had in mind.

Fairy looked around and took a deep breath. This plan of hers wasn't going to be easy, but it sure was going to be fun. Slowly she revealed her thoughts on the matter and David grinned in amusement.

"Oh they will not be pleased," he stated, a slight chuckle in his voice.

"That's the whole idea, and besides, it gives us a chance to get clear of it all." Kara replied.

"But are you sure it will work," Jade asked, skeptical of the plan.

"Why not? I am my father's child," Kara stated proudly.

"Yeah, Brat to the core," Jade replied, giggling softly.

"Thanks!" she replied happily.

"Well they are all there," Luke called from the console. Studying the images, he could tell that a few were still awake and doing, well, let's just not say.

"How many are still awake?" David asked.

"Let's see, Princess and the Doc. I think you are smart enough to figure out why," Luke threw at David with a smile. "Oh but they are winding down now. Jareth doesn't look too pleased either. Seems as though he has found a nice safe place up a tree. Must be afraid Austin will take a liking to him after losing Dee."

"I have to see this!" Kara exclaimed, walking over and looking at the view. "Oh my goodness, I didn't know he could climb trees!" she giggled.

"He probably cheated and used his magic," David stated.

Soon enough, every single one of them fell asleep and that left them prey to Fairy's plan. Without hesitation, Fairy and Kara along with the Starlights, concentrated the energy flow to do their bidding. Within an instant it was over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What the hell is going on?" a voice cut through the air. "My voice, what happened to my voice?" she screamed. Looking around she found herself in unfamiliar surroundings. Glancing at her company, she saw Luke, Jade, and David staring back at her with wide eyes. "You are all the cause of this!" she seethed.

"What are you talking about Kara?" Jade asked. "This is your fault!" she bit out.

"Why are you calling me Kara, I am Dee for crying out loud!" she exclaimed, pushing through them and walking toward the console. Catching her reflection on the monitor, she shrieked in horror. "What did they do to me?"

"What are you talking about Kara, how the heck did I get in here and where is here?" Fairy piped up, her usual tone turned a tad arrogant.

"If you hadn't run off Fairy, none of this would have happened!" Dee bit back.

"I am not Fairy!" she bit back. "Have you gone and lost your mind? You are talking to none other than the Smut Queen!"

"You might wanna take a look at this then." Dee motioned her over to a mirror on the wall.

"What have they done!" she exclaimed, whirling about. "And just who else did they drag in here?" she asked, looking at the others.

Jade stepped forward, a look of surprise on her face. "Gemma."

Luke followed, his blue eyes wide in disbelief. "Colin."

David stood there with a wicked grin on his face.

"Who are you then?" Gemma said, looking at David.

"Austin, baby, yeah!" His grin widened as he made himself comfortable on the couch. "You know, a guy could get used to this."

"Well don't, we have to find a way out of here!" Dee yelled.

"Oh why baby? We could work some great mojo here in our little hideaway," he replied, putting his feet on the coffee table.

"Not in a million years. You may have Bowie's body, but you sure don't have his finesse." she replied, kicking his feet from the table. "And keep your feet down!"

"Sure baby, whatever you say. This is smashing," he said, pleased with the situation.

"Stop calling me that!" Dee shouted back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gemma rolled over and looked into Colin's eyes. "Luke?" she whispered, giggling at the sound of her voice.

A smile broke out across Colin's face. "It worked Jade," he replied softly.

"This is great," she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"I love her voice." Jade replied, hearing the British accent.

"Shh. Be quiet, we are trying to sleep over here!" called Princess from across the way.

"Sorry," Jade replied.

"Don't worry about it Gemma, just get some sleep." Princess stated, rolling over closer to Frank.

~~~~~

Kara suddenly found herself outside. Sitting up slowly, she looked around. Sting was sleeping soundly on the ground next to her.

"I must be Dee," She whispered to herself. She stifled a startled gasp when Austin suddenly appeared next to her.

"Austin?"

"It's David," he replied with a smirk.

"Oh God!"

"Shh." David put a hand over her mouth, reminding her that others were still sleeping.

"I can't believe you traded with Austin. That's so disgusting." She laughed softly.

"You don't like me this way?" He chuckled.

"I like you any way."

"Good."

~~~~~~~~~~

Fairy glanced around and smiled. Looking down at her clothes, she laughed. "Oh wow! I am Lisa Weber!" she laughed.

"Yeah, so shut up!" Essy growled.

"Shut up yourself Essy!" she hollered back, then grinned. This was going to be fun.

~~~~~~~~~~

"There's no way out!" Gemma shrieked. She stood in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips. "And this hair is driving me nuts! How does she cope?" she bellowed, finding a barrette and clasping it back out of her face.

"Dammit, how in the world did they get in here?" Dee asked, exasperated. Turning circles, her mind whirled. "We're going to die in here!"

Colin stood in the kitchen, looking for something to eat. "No we aren't. They have lots of food, running water, and electric. What more could you want?" he asked, looking toward Gemma.

"How about my own body back?" Gemma replied.

"Not me baby, I rather like this one." Austin replied, staring back at them.

"They'll come back for us, won't they?" Gemma asked timidly.

"Yes, or I will kill them," Dee replied, watching the monitors.

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Written by Dee

Jareth awoke with a start, nearly falling from the tree and on to his face. His back was soar, his legs hurt and he unpleasant sensation of bark up his backside. "What a nightmare," he muttered as he crawled down the tree, nearly ruining his tights. "Could anything be worse than this?"

Streatching his arms and legs he found Gemma, Dee and Austin sitting around a small fire with Colin, and Lisa Weber. Dee and Austin were sitting together, talking softly, Austin's voice projecting as a normal human beings would. And Dee... she was being nice! Rubbing his eyes, Jareth knew this had to be a dream.

Lisa W. was modestly trying to fix her clothing and hair, Gemma and Colin were talking and giggling, as if their voices amused themselves, it was all too much. His nightmare was coming true. Lisa and Dee were his amusment, the most fun, being shrews. Gemma was the sane one.. and for the love of all that was good, Austin's crude talk made him look good! The world was falling apart.

Looking over, he saw Princess and Essy still sound asleep, and as the ideas of how his nightmare would effect them came to his mind he fell over, unconciouse.

***

"STIR CRAZY!" Dee yelled, her usualy *loud* voice was slightly muted as Karas. "Remind me to talk to Kara about the wonders of really big pants...." Her mumbling was interupted by Lisa W. screaming as Austin grabbed Fairy's behind.

"PERVERT!" The slap was heard for miles... but Austin was use to it.

"Shut up," Gemma pleaded as she looked into Colin's new clear blue eyes. "This is exactly what they want."

"I DON"T CARE!" Lisa and Dee screamed in unison. "WE WANT OUR BODIES BACK!"

Gemma smiles slightly... "So do I, what sith apprentice wants a Jedi boy?"

On cue, her and Dee laughed hyseritcaly. "Madness!"

The laughter was broken as Lisa punched Austin into a wall, and the words "Crikey, baby" fell from Davids lips.

They were not going to escape this with their sanity.

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Written by Fairy

Fairy- Lisa W- Fairy grinned as she saw Jareth faint. She walked over to him and murmured in his ear. "Well, what are we going to do with you? Hmmmm..."

Suddenly she looks up, her brow creasing. "Oh... yeah, time to check in." Securing Jareth with a sleep spell (because she wants him there when she gets back!) she closes Lisa's eyes and leans against a tree, allowing her spirit to rise from her body and travel to the nearby cave where the Starlights have hidden.

"What happened?!" She whispered. "I'm in the wrong body!"

"We decided that it would not be safe to let that other one have free run of your body, Allie-chan... especially with Bowie-san's body there also," Taiki said thoughtfully.

"We can do it now, though," Yaten said.

"Oh, I see..." Fairy's spirit grinned evily. "Who's going to make the switch?"

"I, of course, Allie-chan," said Yaten, smiling.

"No playing, Yaten-ai," she cautioned him, "the Lisa's wouldn't be very happy if their bodies..."

she coughed in embarrassment. He nodded, grinning. "Well, let's begin."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Princess" opened her eyes. And screamed.

Instead of lying next to her beautiful- handsome- whatever- Dr. Furter, she was now between two male bodies... men whose faces bore the perfection of anime. Men who were handcuffed to her to prevent her escape.

They grinned. Princess moaned in Yaten's female voice. "I'm going to kill you, Fairy..."

*****

Quietly, so as not to disturb the hotdog, Princess got up from her sleeping place. Lisa Weber immediately got up and went to her.

"Are you okay?" Princess whispered.

"It's an interesting sensation, being in another's body, Allie-chan," the Queen replied thoughtfully.

They sat down with the others, who raised their eyebrows at Princess, until they explained. Fairy wanted to be in a body closer to her own age... and she didn't feel that she could act like Lisa W. Yaten was a good actress.

"But what are you going to do about him?" "Gemma" asked in humorous dismay, pointing at the sweet Transylvanian transvestite.

"Um... knock him out and tie him up?" True, she hadn't thought of that. But she could deal with him.

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Written by Lisa King the Pervert Princess

(End)

*cue theatrical musak here*

Frank awoke just then. He glanced up, and with a smirk of unrestrained lust, reached for "Lisa," grabbing her upper thigh. His patient, however, reacted strangely. She shrank away from his touch, and cowered at Gemma's side.

"Don't let him touch me! He's got alien cooties!" she screeched. Gemma (who was really Juicy Jade Joyride) put an arm around her friend and pulled her away. The Smut Queen (who was really Yaten) strode up and sat by the good doctor.

"Now, now, Dr. Furter, that's no way to treat a woman. You can't just grab her and expect her to instantly swoon over you," Lisa W. (who was really Yaten) said softly.

Frank looked at the Smut Queen, confused. He knew that the woman in front of him would have gladly romped him before he fell asleep. Yet, here she was, offering him gentlemenly advice. "But--she likes it rough," he replied.

Lisa (who was really Fairybite) turned and ran. With a half-growl, half-laugh of surprise, he took chase after, running her down, and tackling her to the ground. Pinning her arms and legs to the ground, he kissed her passionately as she struggled in his embrace.

"Let me go!" she screamed. He chuckled richly, a perfect sound coming out of such a perfect speciman. Ingoring her attempts to push him off, he slowly peeled off her clothes.

"NoooooOOOOOooooo!" Lisa(who was really Fairybite)'s scream echoed through the...through the wherever they were. (Note: The author has no idea where this story is taking place anymore.)

Jareth, hearing the distressed cry of one of his beloved listians (e'en though she never let him play with her after she got a boyfriend), flew to the scene. Seeing Lisa (who was really Fairybit) stretched out on the ground, he gave a cry of frustration.

"WHY?!" he screamed, his face purple. "Why does every one of MY - MY, do you hear me?! - listians have a secret crush on another fictional character?! Why can't their only obsession in life be my balls? Why can't they forget about the other genres? Why can't I get laid more than Austin Powers?!"

"Hey, that's rather harsh on yourself...uh, baby," Austin (who was really David Bowie) spoke up from behind him.

With a snarl of outrage, Jareth leapt at Austin(who was really Bowie)'s throat, and the two began a long and terrible catfight. Hair was pulled, men were bitch-slapped, and some makeup was smudged. It was that last point that *really* put Jareth in a tizzy.

While Frank avidly watched the two men wrestle each other, Lisa K. (who was really Fairy) took the chance to get away. Furter saw his lover getting away, and with a girlish squeal, once again took off after her. This time, she ran straight to the secret hideout, where everyone else was locked up. Opening the door, Fairy accidently sprung them loose.

"Oops," was all she could squeak out before a wall of bodies accosted her, and dragged her back to where the others were still milling. Gemma, Dee, Lisa W, Lisa K., Austin, and Colin all forced their conterparts (that would be, in order - Jade, Kara, Yaten, Fairy, Bowie, and Skywalker) to switch the bodies back. Frank oversaw everything, constantly cracking his whip to make sure no one 'accidentally' fudged up. Jareth watched from a distance, and as soon as David Bowie was back in his real body, the Goblin King jumped him, for a rematch. Everyone was too exhausted to stop them, except Kara, who kept trying in vain to pull them apart. She got an elbow to the gut for her efforts, and finally stalked off, swearing off men with British accents for all eternity (although later, she would recant that, and have another affair with the infamous Bowie).

All the victims in this little THERAPY SESSION returned to their homes, having NOT gone through much therapy, but having had a great time nonetheless. Fairy continued to see the Starlights. Jade and Luke lived happily ever after (having a total of thirteen Force-sensitive children). Gemma returned home (still in her pajamas) hand in hand with Colin Firth. Lisa Weber went back to worshipping the Mayfield Four and being a total kick-ass concert-going fiend. No one knows what happened to Jareth (he prolly just sulked for a while, and then got really, really drunk with Essy again). Essy and Maul were last seen destroying her local mall after a cashier gave her incorrect change. Lisa King and Frank were never heard from again, mainly because Lisa decided that Transylvania had a much nicer climate, and a more open-minded populace.

THE END. There will be no prologue from me.

[Prefious]