More mayhem from the deranged LK homies...CT and Gemini Girl!!
Kevin dives into the open door of the Camry, just as the large object flies by towards the silly group that is bound together.
ZQ: Duck!
CT: Duck!
MP: Goose!
SleB shoves with all his might and the group tumbles to the ground as the large object goes whizzing by.
UKB: Well that was a close one.
CT: So, GG, why is everyone in your story stupid, too?
GG: Well, it has to do with the videos. You see, in Perfect Day…
UKB: They’re in a box!
GG: Right.
CT: They don’t think outside the box?
GG: ExACTly! And in New Moon On Monday, there’s this revolution. . .
ZQ: Do we have to get into that again?
GG: Okay, we’ll pass on that. In Rio, you see, they’re on this boat.
UKB: Rio’s dancing on the sand, just like…
CT: Just like that river!!! Oh, what’s the name of that river?
UKB: The one that twists through a dusty land?
GG: Oh forget it.
KS: Does anyone care that we were just almost hit by a very large flying object?Does anyone even care what it is?
CT: Oh, sure, you care now. You tied us up with silly string and left us all to die! Die out in the cold, all alone.
UKB: Well, technically, we’re not alone.
SleB: When do we get back to ME? I’m telling you I’m clean. Do you want to see my bill of health?
CT: Actually, yes.
SleB pulls out bill of health.
CT: This says:
"Simon says he’s fine
Even when he drinks wine
If you’ll go and play with him
You won’t need penicillin"
and it’s signed… Dr. Suess? Oh, come on now. Am I supposed to believe this? Not EVERYONE in GG’s story is stupid!
GG: That’s true. But you brought along one who’s not too bright. *thumbs towards a certain friend*
MP: That’s so wrong.
CT: Actually, she’s right. You’re not the brightest. You certainly are cute, though!
UKB: Can we check and see what that large object is?
GG: I'm frightened. I’m a delicate flower, you see.
KS: We'll go see what it is! Come on, men!
MP to SleB: Couldn't be talking to me.
SleB: Not to me, either. I'm not going anywhere. My head is full of chopstick. I don't like it.
CT: Is something on your mind?
UKB: You big babies! I'll go with, hmmm? Is that all right with you?
KS: Yes... and I love the pink in your hair.
UKB: *giggles* really? I just got in done again recently. You don't think I look like a sad muppet?
KS: No, you look ravishing.
GG: HEY!
UKB: Sorry. Off we go, then.
KS & UKB go over the hill to where the large object was heard crashing into the ground.
GG: I think Kevin was flirting with UKB. What do you think?
CT: I think so too. I'd be careful. She might put him in her cupboards, too.
SleB: Those cupboards get rather cramped, you know. Especially with all of Nicks makeup and hair product. I'm really starting to resent him.
MP: Well you obviously don't use any hair products. Look at yourself.
*picks up one of the mirrors that has been cermoniously dumped out of GG's bag and holds it in front of Simon*
SleB: What happened to my head???
UKB & KS: Come quick! You've got to see this! You won't believe it!
Everyone runs over the hill and down towards UKB & KS, and stand in awe of what is before them.
SleB: Is my head still full of chopstick, or am I really seeing what I think I'm seeing?
MP: What is everyone's affinity with Asian food around here?
CT: Figure of speech, that's all. Wouldja look at that!
UKB: I don't know what that is. I'm British! THAT is certainly not British!
KS: Is that a flying DeLorean?
SleB: I wanna be back in time...
GG: That is NOT a flying DeLorean.
MP: (smiles winningly at GG) That is SO not a flying DeLorean!
(GG scowls at MP, pushes him down hill. UKB holds concealer stick out in front of her like it is a dangerous knife. Begins to walk toward the mysterious object. CT passes UKB, less afraid because she is a goofy American.)
CT: An Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. We were almost killed by an Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. Can you imagine the headlines in the newspapers? 'Hot Dog, they're Dead!' or 'Group Couldn't Mustard Up the Strength to Move Their Buns out of the Way When Danger Loomed.' Oh, I'm mortified at the thought of it!
GG: CT, you worry about your image too much.
UKB: She's right, though, Gemini Girl. I'm expected to keep a stiff upper lip, and this really would have been most embarrassing a situation...this near frankfurter-fatality.
MP: Hey, you know, someone is driving that thing. Shouldn't we check to make sure the driver is OK?
SleB: Let me make it perfectly clear, that whether this is something contrived or something real, I am NOT administering CPR to this person.
CT: Do they call it CPR in England, then?
SleB: I believe this is your story, so I have to call it CPR even if that is not what we call it in England.
CT: Oh, that's right.
UKB shoves concealer stick in window of the Weinermobile.
UKB: We're armed and very dangerous. Exit your rolling tube steak with your hands up and your eyes down!
Door to Weinermobile opens slowly. A figure falls out of the vehicle.
GG: Who is that?
MP: Yeah, who is that is right? She seems to have a lot of beads in her hair.
KS: She's almost bronze.
UKB: (voice shaking) What have you got there in your hands, young miss?
Figure from the Weinermobile raises hands into the air as directed.
FfW: They are my peoems...I guess I was writing and not paying attention to my driving!
UKB, CT, GG gasp yet again.
CT: Good heavens.
GG: For the love of Picabo Street and everyone else who has ever appeared on a box of Wheaties!
UKB drops cosmetics, beats her chest with two fists, and laughs so hard, so loud that MP begins to beg KS to tell him how to create a straitjacket out of silly string so as to transport UKB to the Lizard Home.
MP: Please, Kevin! Before it's too late. Show me how to make the silly string straightjacket. We can't let her...
KS: Go on!
MP: Right - we can't let her go on like this. I think she's lost her mind!
KS: Just give me back the silly string. Come on. Hand it over.
CT: Matty, please - you can't trust him. Look what he did to us.
KS: I was just trying to save you from yourselves.
MP: He's right, sweetie-pie. *hands KS silly string canister*
*KS throws said canister into the woods*
MP: HEY!
KS: Get over it, she doesn't need a straightjacket.
CT: Lily? Is that you?
FfW: When you ask if me is I, do you say is you me? Lily loves gorgeous chick and Simon le Bon Bon!
UKB: It's Lily.
SleB: This weinermobile looks like a gleaming... metal... TyuuuBe.
GG: It IS a gleaming metal tube.
MP: I wonder.... *climbs into gleaming metal tube*
KS: Now what is he doing? He's going to screw something up, I can just tell.
CT: Why do you have such animosity towards him?
KS: He speaks in the most irritating manner, and every once in a while, he twitches. I don't trust him.
*strange noises come from the weinermobile*
CT: Oh, what is he doing now?
KS: I'm telling you, he can't be trusted.
UKB: Well, I'm going to go in. I have a weapon.
*UKB holds concealer stick in one hand, mascara wand in other and climbs through the side of the bun*
GG: I don't know if that's such a good idea. I don't like the sound of that.
SleB: Well I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to sit here and wait until this whole thing gets sorted out. If it doesn't get sorted out rather quickly, I shall pout.
CT: Oooh, I like it when you pout, your supple lips glistening--
GG: CT! We're in the midst of a crisis here and you're thinking about snogging him?
SleB: You're not British, why are you saying snogging?
GG: I like the way it sounds, okay?
CT: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned-- *makes the sign of the cross*
SleB: Oh come on! Continue. I like to hear all about my pouty lips.
CT: Well, they're--
UKB: Guess what is in here! There's this machine, and you can set it to any date in history! Come here!
SleB: Oh, bloody hell. Am I ever going to hear about my lips?
*everyone piles through the door of the weinermobile*
UKB: I've set the date, we're ready to go!
*doors close, sparks fly, weiner spins around faster than light*
Whoever wasn't in the weinermobile was grabbing onto the kraut, because suddenly the whole group is transported into a foggy place. They are inside a room where a disco ball hangs, and pink, blue, green, and purple lights cross a giant dance floor.
SleB:( beautiful pouty lips depout and spread into a gorgeous smile) My wankers!
UKB: That is not a British interjection, Simon, stop it right now.
SleB (can't hear UKB, for he is in his own world, and it ain't no ordinary world (sorry Georgeschick, but it ain't) )
The Rum Runner!
UKB: (folds arms over her chest) That's British, the Rum Runner! We're home!
MP: Hot diggety dog diggety BOOM whatcha do to me, Oscar Mayer is hot dog diggety!
CT: We're at the Rum Runner?
UKB: (lets out bloodcurdling scream, points, points, with whole arm shaking points up to a little staging area across the room. A slight man wearing better lipstick than either she or Gemini is spinning vinyl records.)
KS: That's it, she's blown a fuse.
GG & CT giggle: I don't think so.
MP: Why are you both saying the same thing at the same time?
GG: It's OUR PARTY!!
UKB lunges across the floor, tackles deejay.
NR: AAAHKHT!
(you know how that sounds.)
KS & MP: She knows him?
GG: Why are you both saying the same thing at the same time?
KS: I think it's a glitch with the time travelling weiner. Anyways, who's the guy wearing MAC?
GG: That's not MAC. If we're at the Rum Runner, and if Nick's hair looks like that, it's 1981, which is pre-MAC.
CT: (beams proudly at her friend) She knows everything about cosmetics. Seriously.
SleB: Doesn't have to be serious.
GG: Oh baby you're such a child!
SleB rumples GG's hair. GG squeezes Simon round the waist.
GG: So how does this work? Are you Simon now, or Simon back then?
SleB: Don't know, love, it wasn't my weiner.
CT: The grass is always greener at somebody else's weiner.
FfW: That's very nice. And if I say its nice, Eye will say it twice. Nice nice, let's pleigh nice!
UKB: Nick! It's me, UKB!
Nick: (dusting self off, smoothing hair) Who?
UKB: I'm your UK Barbarella! I love you!
Nick: Barbarella? Isn't that funny? My friend John was just talking to me about watching that film with his Mum. And here you go, bringing it up spit spot not a day later.
KS: Spit spot?
GG: All the British people in CT's stories sound like Mary Poppins.
SleB: Even me?
GG: Well, maybe not so much you. She kind of has you down without adding things like "Spoonful of Sugar" to your lines.
SleB: That's sweet.
MP approaches CT.
MP: Look, I'm having a really terrific time here and everything, but I have this pretty rigorous shooting schedule, and--
UKB: You have nothing. It's 1981. You aren't even a twinkle in the producer of A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon's eye.
MP: All righty then.
CT: So it's 1981 for all of us?
FfW: It is what is.
CT: Lily, you sound a little bit like the Gospel according to John.
FfW: John Taylor go gobble walk with the cane hobble hobble
Nick: (now staring at Lily) What the hell?
SleB (elbows GG) Watch this, I'm going to have me some fun!
(approaches Nick)
Hi, mate! (slaps Nick on the back; Nick falls backwards after trying so hard to sit up straight.)
Nick: Who are you?
SleB: My name is Charley.
Nick: You have cool pants. They're not contrived. If people want to say they're contrived, I mean, they're wrong.
Rum Runner waitress comes by, serves everyone drinks.
GG: I don't think you should serve Lily any alcohol.
Lily hugs GG in gratitude, GG hands Lily's drink to Simon.
SleB: What's this? Double fisting? I couldn't possibly!
CT gets goosebumps.
CT: I knew it! It's not like they say about the drinking and the partying, is it Simon?
SleB: No, I mean I couldn't possibly double fist this crap, it's cheap! Where's the good stuff?
Simon attempts to load his drinks back onto the waitress' tray, but he misses his target, and the water sprays onto Lily, who gives an eerie shriek, then slumps to the floor.
MP: Not this again.
Nick: What's going on?
KS: Oh no.
UKB: Watch!
CT: What is going on with all of this morphing into other people? It's completely skeeving me out!
GG: Lily, Lily, who are you underneath that iambic facade?
Suddenly, the countenance and the body are clear. Lily is actually...
CT: Brooke Freaking Shields.
MP: What a treat. Twice in one day. And now she looks very Blue Lagoon.
UKB: Of course she does, you twit! It's 1981!
GG: This must be a Princeton thing. That's what this must be.
FfWakaBS: Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.
UKB: Told you.
SleB: (to FfWakaBS) I'd like to try, bird!
KS: There he goes with the birds again.
GG: This time, I think he means the wingless kind.
CT: Simon, do you see that no good comes from your drinking and womanizing?
SleB: (kneels by FfWakaBS) You felt your refuge turned you captive all the same.
NR: That's good! Are you a poet?
GG: OOH! Hey CT, UKB, watch this!!! Nick Rhodes, may I, Gemini T. Girl, be forever remembered as introducing you to Simon le Bon. I think you two will make beautiful music together.
CT: Hey, that was pretty cool!
UKB: You've made isstory, Gem!
GG: UKB, why don't you ever pronounce your "h's?"
UKB: Ow the bloody ell sud I know? I guess it's just too ard for us eeethens ere in Er Majesty's Ome
Simon & Nick go put down a few licks. Nick thinks that Simon is very inspired to sit with him for 35 minutes and churn out a whole album's worth of song lyrics.
FfWakaBS: Where's my mom? I'm never apart from her for a half hour!
GG: You don't say.
FfWakaBS: I do. And I'm very hungry. I have this craving for baked beans.
KS walks over to MP.
KS: Are you starting to get the feeling that we've just gotten a little bit more than we signed on for, buddy?
MP: I sure am. I think you and I need to get out while the getting out is good.
KS: Are you taking Crystal Tears with you?
MP: Look at her, she's completely wrapped up in the two British guys. It's like she's been given the best Christmas present of her life. What about you and Gemini Girl?
KS: Nah. She's blowing up an inflatable kiddie pool over there. That's the sign that she's putting down roots.
MP: Really? Kinda strange, don'tcha think?
KS: We just took a transatlantic hot dog to 1981. You've got issues with a blow up pool?
UKB, eyes never leaving Nick, inches backward toward KS and MP.
UKB: Listen, you two. I can hear what you're saying. But there's something you need to realize.
MP & KS: What?
KS: There it goes again. We're saying the same thing at the same time.
UKB: I've sold the Renoir and the TV set.
MP (throws hands up in the air) I don't want to be around when THIS gets out!
UKB (looks nervously at MP) You think it will get out?
MP: It's so out. It's so out, it's like, never been less in!
UKB: Sod.
KS: Loam.
MP: Moss. Peat Moss.
SleB: Bon, Simon le Bon.
KS, snaps his fingers.
KS: That's it, why didn't we think of it before?
MP: Think of what?
KS: Think of how to resolve this whole weird situation? I've seen a few James Bond movies in my day--
MP: Did any of them involve time travel, Snapple, people who get wet and become other people, red balls, Camrys, portapotties, or the Zoid Queen?
NR: There is no James Bond movie like that. I can't even tell you how much I want to score a James Bond movie someday. I'm a really big fan. I mean, you can't even imagine fans until you imagine the way I am about James Bond. He's wall to wall paper in my room.
SleB: Now is the time, the time to come out of the shadows.
NR (smiling at Simon) Really, Mr. Simon le Bon poet, you have a gift! Can you sing and dance?
SleB: I have this "Any Which Way But Loose" Monkey Dance...
KS: Pardon me, gentlemen, would you like to move this conversation back inside the hot dog?
CT: Gemini, what is he doing? We're not going back. Simon is not married. Simon has never been married. And he's actually pretty clean right now. We cannot miss an opportunity like this.
UKB: Nick isn't married, either. And now I have time to warn him off the various tarts to come!
GG: Don't worry, girlfriends! Kevin, honey, a word?
Kevin's shoulders droop, he marches over to Gemini Girl.
KS: Gemini, baby, can't we talk inside the weinermobile? I'm feeling a little romantic, and--
GG: Kevin, stop. I know how we can make this work for all of us.
FfWakaBS: Even me?
UKB: You're very tangential to the story, you.
FfWakaBS: I'm going to tell my Mom.
FfWakaBS storms off. When she goes, a rumble starts inside the RumRunner. The disco ball explodes, and a rain of something miraculous starts to pour as the group goes hurtling through space and time yet again...
This time as they come to their new space in time, a loud roar greets them - a wall of sound, as it were. Strains of Tiger Tiger greet them.
SleB: Look now, look all around! There's no sign of life...
UKB: There's plenty of signs. Open your eyes! What the bloody hell is that noise?
NR (who unwittingly time-traveled with): I don’t know, but THAT is my favorite video game! Galaxy!
GG & CT: *gasp*
CT: Get OUT! *shoves GG*
UKB: But look at us… why are we dressed all in black?
GG: I like the makeup and hair, though - very 80’s.
UKB: How do you know it's the Worcester Centrum?
CT: It's her story, remember?
UKB: Oh, yes. I keep forgetting. Speaking of stories, I must get back to that Lizard Home for the Elderly Deranged. I know you're all waiting for it, shivering with antici....pation.
NR: Oh, look at this… does someone have a quarter? I can play all day on one quarter - just watch me!
UKB: I’ll just watch you.
AT: Hello, good evening and welcome to our show!
JT: Where have you blokes been? You’re always late, you know? I waste half my day sitting around on my arse waiting for you.
NR: It really doesn’t matter what time we get here, we do the same work anyway. I can get here at 11:00 but no earlier. I’m not going to become weak and feeble because you want me to get here early in the day. I won’t do it.
CT: I thought this was in TTGR - wasn’t that after this tour?
KS: Another glitch in the weinermobile.
MP: Okay, now I think I know who you guys are: A Flock of Seagulls! I love your song! *sings "and I ra-a-an I ran so far a-wa-a-ay"*
SleB: No we’re the biggest pop band in the world, we are Dhuran Dhuran. Now it’s time to get on stage! Come on everyone! It’s our party!
CT: Simon, hun, that’s kind of old now.
SleB: Right. Sozzzzz.
GG: Okay, we’ll see you back here. We’re going to go out into the front row and watch. This time I’ll take pictures and my brother WON’T lose the camera.
NR: No, dahlings - why do you think you’re dressed the way you are. You’re our backup singers.
CT: Get OUT! *shoves Nick, Nick falls into Simon, Simon falls into JT, JT falls into Roger, Roger’s drumstick goes into Andy’s side, Andy screams "AAAAKT"*
UKB: Wait, isn’t Nick supposed to do that?
GG: Maybe at another show.
MP: So what are we supposed to do?
KS: Yeah, I mean, I’m Kevin Freaking Spacely.
CT: You mean Spacey?
KS: Yes, yes, that’s what I mean. You people have me so confused, I don’t know which way is up.
MP: How can you not know which way is up? Up is up.
KS: Figure of speech, you dweeb.
GG whispers to CT: I can’t sing. I have a terrible voice. I’m going to ruin everything if I sing!
CT: It’s your story, you can have a good voice in your story.
GG: Whew!
UKB: Come on girls! Do you believe in love? Coz I got somethin’ to say about it, and it goes something like this:
NR: Isn’t that Madonna? Shouldn’t you be at least speaking in Duran Duran-ese?
UKB: Sooooorrryyy! I just thought it sounded good. I won’t do that again.
NR: Whatevah. Have I mentioned I love your hair? I think I’m going to do that to mine tomorrow. *shouts* Can someone please book me an appointment at the stylist, please? I need PINK and I need it NOW!
*voice booms over speakers "Get on stage NOW!"*
SleB: Come ON! I’ve been waiting for this!
CT: YOU’VE been waiting?
*grabs UKB & GG by the hands and drags GG & UKB behind SleB, NR and the Taylor brothers on to the stage*
BOOM - BOOM BOOM chhhhh
CT, UKB, GG: Please please tell me now!
CT: Oh! The curtain’s going up! Look at all those people!
*freezes like a deer caught in headlights*
UKB: Keep singing, keep singing! Nick is scowling at us!
CT: Good to know
*CT sticks tongue out at Nick, starts dancing like Baby in Dirty Dancing - before Baby learned how to dance*
UKB: Look Matty and Kevin are getting trampled by 14 year olds!! They’re getting squished against the barriers!
GG (mouthing to Kevin) Take pictures! Take pictures!
KS (falling to the ground, hands raised, snapping pictures as he falls)
SleB: Is anybody HUNGRY??
*another wall of sound comes towards them, but this time it’s not the scream of the crowd… the disco ball descends from the ceiling and explodes*
CT: Oh, NO! I was starting to enjoy myself up here!
*the group spins away into another time*
And so, the weinermobile is once again hurtling through space and time faster than light, faster than light, faster than li-i-ight! But CT, enraged at being pulled offstage amidst "her big number," begins pushing buttons inside the weinermobile.
KS: I think you'd better cut that out.
UKB: I know I usually take a devil-may-care attitude on these things, but I'm going to side with Spacely on this one, love. You shouldn't play with machinery you don't understand.
GG: (hisses) SPACEY!
CT: Hey, don't start the name calling, Gem. (Presses one last key, smiles)
MP: Well, you seem pretty pleased with yourself, there, sugar, what have you done? Are you sending us home?
CT: (coyly) Let's just say that the only name Gemini Girl is going to be calling me after our next stop is "Brilliant. Miss Brilliant if you're nasty!"
KS: (looking outside the weinermobile) Who's jammin' to my nasty groove? No one has time to answer. This trip was a quick one, it seems. Dry ice is floating all around the weinermobile as the group exits. They are in a lovely sitting room. No one thinks to wonder why there is dry ice in a lovely sitting room.
UKB: Oh, isn't this rich? This room is luverly, I say! It must be British. Are we in England, CT?
CT: We are in England, UKB, but please stop talking like Eliza Doolittle.
UKB: The rain, in Spain, falls mainly in the plains.
MP: Plant her now, that geranium's been potted!
GG: What?
MP: (shakes his head in lament.) Hey, give me a break, wouldja? I'm working without my writers here.
KS: So Crystal Tears, where exactly are we?
CT: Well, if I calculated correctly... The smell of fine tea falls softly around the group.
UKB's ears perk up as if she is a German Shepherd. Sound of a tea spoon clinking in a bone china cup is faintly audible. Voice in corner of room, sitting in winged chair with back to group begins to hum:
VOICE: Never chose this way...comb your head, face face...
GG: (whispers) It's Simon again! He sounds so cute when he sings to himself!
CT: GG, enough of that. We have no time to be gushy right now, we have work to do. The rest of you people, please form an assembly line behind Gem and me.
UKB, MP, and KS shrug and march behind CT and GG.
CT: Good afternoon, Simon!
SleB jumps, startled, almost spills tea but of course is too gentlemanly to do so. SleB: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! Where did you come from, and who are you?
CT: Oh, don't you remember? We're your reading consultants.
SleB: What? Who?
CT: You hired us to help you along with your reading materials.
SleB: I did?
CT: "Too many magazines, too little time," that's what you told Spy Matthews. He told us to come right over to help you sift through your magazines.
SleB: I must be getting very famous, if Spy is hiring people like that for me!
GG is staring at CT with mouth in large vowel formation.
GG: Now tell me again, CT, how is it that we're to help Mr. umm...what was it, le Bon?
CT: That's right, Mr. le Bon. Well, he can't be bothered with these fashion magazines. (Loads UKB & KS up with fashion magazines.)
SleB: I quite like to look at the birds in the fashion magazines. Sometimes I even try to call up their agents and set up dates with the supermodels.
GG and CT exchange a look. GG smirks. CT is not as stupid as she suspected, it seems.
GG: Oh, but what good can come of that, Simon? Clearly you're almost at an age where you're thinking of settling down...
SleB: Hmm...I suppose...
CT: And the last thing you need is to be going to the movies and drinking scotch with supermodels!
SleB: It is? That sounds like a fairly good date, love.
GG: Oh believe me, it is NOT a good date. Are those entertainment magazines? Give me those. (Dumps 5lbs of magazines in KS's arms. UKB has started a fire in the next room's fireplace, and is burning all sorts of books in there. The perfume ads stink to high heaven.)
CT: Matty, gimme the National Geographics.
MP, utterly confused at what is going on, hands CT some NG magazines.
CT: Here, Simon, there is a wonderful article in this issue on the Tasaday culture....and look...it says here that gasoline prices may hit all time highs at the start of the next century....these kinds of pieces are much more your style!
SleB: But the pretty girls...
GG: Many of the tribal women you see in that photo essay on Outer Mongolia are quite fetching.
SleB: Hmm...I suppose I could read the articles...
CT: (thwacks Simon on the back) That's more like it, Sport!
GG: (pulls up an Ottoman) Now, let's get back to discussing your future wife prospects!
UKB is roasting marshmallows at the fire now. Matthew Perry is rummaging through Simon's cupboards for chocolate and graham crackers, when suddenly he hears a shriek from the oddest place...
…and the shriek is coming from the cupboard behind him!
MP: What the…
KS (points to cupboard) It’s coming from there!
UKB (drops marshmallows into fireplace) Uh, uh, wait a minute, I don’t think you should look in there.
CT: Hey, wait a second! UKB, what is going on?
UKB: Well, I’m not sure. Spacely, is this another glitch?
GG: Spacey!
UKB: Whatevah.
KS: If I knew what the problem was, maybe I could tell you whether or not it’s a glitch in the weinermobile.
CT: Well, lookey here *throws open cupboard, Nick falls out, lands on floor*
UKB: But, but, but, but-
GG: Is this your house, UKB?
UKB: Huh. No, it's not! I’m rather confused. I thought I was the only one keeping anyone in my cupboard.
SleB walks into kitchen, sees what has happened, abruptly turns and runs out of kitchen CT, GG, UKB, KS & MP follow him, while Nick is still on the floor
NR: Could someone please help me? I’ve been in there for quite some time and can’t seem to stand on my own. Someone? Anyone? AAAAAAKT!
UKB: Oooh, sorry. I’ll help you.
NR: I love the pink in your hair! I’d like to do that. Would you mind?
UKB: I swear we’ve had this conversation before.
NR: No, luv. I think you’re mistaken.
UKB: Whatevah.
NR: I have to say that I am a bit frightened of you. I heard someone say that you keep people in your cupboards. I hope that’s not true.
UKB: No, no, of course not ... ha ha ha ack cough cough.
NR: Everything okay, there?
UKB: Mmm, sure. Have you any toffee?
NR: No, I ate it all. I’ve been in there a while.
Back in the lovely sitting area:
GG whispers to CT: Brilliant move, last trip, really. Perfect timing with those magazines. And to give him the National Geographics! Just brilliant. See, not everyone in your stories are stupid.
CT whispers back: I just thought that up, spur of the moment. My one stroke of genius.
GG winks and gives CT the "okay" sign.
KS: Why did you have that child in your cupboard, dressed like that and wearing makeup?
CT: Um, Kev, it’s a grown man, and he likes to wear makeup.
KS: NOOOooo! Really?
CT: Are you even vaguely aware of the 80’s?
KS: No, I skipped that one. Didn't like the music.
GG (shakes head) Sad, sad, really.
SleB: What the hell were you doing in my cupboards?
MP: I was looking for chocolate and graham crackers! I wanted to make S’mores!
SleB: Some more what?
MP: What?
SleB: What.
MP: What what?
SleB: Oh, forget it. Bloody twit.
CT: I think the real question is "what was Nick doing in your cupboard?"
SleB: It’s a long story, really, and I don’t. . . erm, I don’t really. Well, I don’t have time to tell it. I have plans. I have to go out. I’ve got to meet someone.
CT: No, you’ve got to read through these National Geographic magazines first. We want you to be educated in the happenings of the world, not just entertainment and supermodels. I mean, Spy Matthews wants you to be well versed. Not us. We don’t care. We don’t even know exactly who you are.
SleB: You don’t?
CT (winks at GG) No. Who, exactly, are you?
SleB: I am I, myself, alone.
GG: Oooh, I like that. You ought to remember that one.
SleB (cocks an eyebrow at GG) Right. Anyway, I’m lead singer for the most popular band in the world, Dhuran Dhuran.
CT: I think I may have heard of them.
SleB: Now hold on here. You knew it was Nick, so you MUST know who I am. Who are you, really? Please please tell me now!
GG: I think you better spill it, CT.
CT scratches her head and flips her Rene Russo hair. Okay, it’s like this-- *The house starts to shake, lights flash, house begins to spin… faster than light, faster than light, faster than li-ii-iiiight*
KS: Why do I always hear that high pitched sound when we’re about to travel through time? The house changes into the weinermobile and they are transported to yet another place in time.
CT pops the bun window of the mobile to peek outside and cannot believe what she sees
GG: Hey CT, you look a little surprised by what you see out of your bunhole.
MP is unable to control his laughter.
UKB looks around for GG's big old purse, but it has been left somewhere in time. Pity, she thinks, she would so have enjoyed smacking MP into sobriety.
CT: Oh...the lasting first impression...
GG climbs behind to look over CT's shoulder.
GG: Oooh...do you think we're in the future? That looks pretty space-age to me.
KS: What, we're at my place?
GG: (rolls eyes, moans) SPACE AGE...not Spacely!
CT: Hey, you know where I think we are?
MP: Stuck in the bunhole with you? (cracks self up; UKB cracks him over the head with a condiment container from the glove compartment)
CT leads everyone outside the weinermobile. An intense burst of music plays.
CT: Yep...I know! (Lights crisscross around the group. A man sitting in a chair gestures toward CT.)
MSiC: Ah ha! Crystal Tears, you're our fastest finger winner for the evening. Come on, let's play!
MP is beside himself, doubled over, crying he is laughing so hard.
MP: Fastest finger. He said she has the fastest finger!
UKB: Sod bloody sodness!
KS: Wow, you're like a lorry driver!
GG: Kevin, who do you think you are, Madonna? Gwyneth? Let's ixnay the British accent!
KS (grumbles) Truck driver, I mean.
CT hops into "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" chair. Regis reads card.
RP: It says here you're a Duranie who is hurtling through time faster than light. Is that correct?
CT: Yes, it is. So far, I've saved Simon le Bon from marrying Yasmin Parvaneh, and I've sung backup on the Seven and the Ragged Tiger tour, and I've helped Nick Rhodes out of a cupboard.
RP: And now you want to win a million dollars!
CT: Well, OK.
RP (barks): OK! She says OK! Let's do it!
CT: Well, all right, I hope I'm good at this.
RP: Enough small talk. For $100.00, according to Sigmund Freud, the three parts of the human personality comprise the superego, the id, and what: a.) eyeball b.) gluteus maximus c.) hippocampus d.) ego
CT: (thought bubble over head is big image of Kimmie, CT pauses to smile) Well, Regis, I'm gonna have to go with d., the ego.
RP: The EGO! That's RIGHT!
UKB: Bravo, you brainiac, CT!
CT and GG exchange "OK" signs.
RP: I see you've got some special friends in the audience.
CT: And how! (Gives thumbs up sign to GG, KS, UKB, and MP)
RP: Well, they're probably counting on you to get this one right, too. For $200.00, my soon-to-be-ex morning show cohost Kathie Lee Gifford has two seldom-discussed children. Her daughter's name is Cassidy. Her son's name is: a.) Buffalo Bill b.) Sweat Shop Sam c.) Mile High Gifford d.) Cody
CT: Gosh, Regis, d. seems to be the answer of the day. I'm gonna go with d.
RP: Final answer?
CT: As final as Frank's philanderings.
RP: You're RIGHT, by George!
CT: By who?
RP: I said by George.
CT: Oh, sorry, I thought you said Georgeschick.
RP: I didn't. What are you talking about?
CT: I dunno. Let's hit the next question.
RP: Let's hit a commercial break, if you don't mind. Are you strapped for time, Miss Crystal Tears?
CT: I never really know. I'm kind of at the mercy of the weiner.
RP: You're kind of a nutjob, aren't you, Crystal Tears?
CT: So I'm told, Reege, so I'm told...
RP: Well, try to retain sanity for sixty seconds...our good friends at AT&T want to bring you the following message! (Camera pans out. Once off camera, Regis looks very concerned. Leans over to CT, takes hold of her hand.)
RP: All right, young lady, there's something you need to realize before we go any further.
CT: Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
GG: (smacks her own forehead with her palm) That girl has lost her grip. Now she thinks Reege is leaving Joy for her?
UKB: I don't know who this Reege and Joy are. But this is a stupid knockoff of one of our British shows. It's better at home, you know, because--
MP, KS, UKB: It's British!
UKB: Right then, cheerio! On the set, Regis is speaking to CT in hushed tones. It seems he has a little inside information on what is going on with the weinermobile and with Duran Duran....
RP: I think I know what’s going on. We all know there’s no such thing as time travel. I think this is kind of like The Truman Show, and none of you realize what’s really happening.
CT: Oh, Reege, how little you know. You have no idea what we have managed to do!
SleB: What are they talking about down there? Don’t they realize we’re about to come back from commercial?
GG: I don’t think they care.
MP: Well, they should care. After all, it is network television. They can’t just whisper the entire show, no one will stay tuned.
UKB: You know, Mr. Smarty Pants, everything isn’t about ratings. Sometimes it’s about finding out the truth.
MP laughs hysterically until he chokes, gasping for air.
UKB: Whatevah.
NR: Well I want to know what they’re saying.
SleB: Me, too. Let’s go down there.
GG: This oughta be good.
NR & SleB march down into the center ring where CT & RP are still whispering.
NR: Look you two. If you’re going to whisper, we at least want to know what you’re whispering about. It’s not fair, you know, it really isn’t.
SleB: Oh, stop whining, Nick. But really, what are you whispering about? It’s getting rather annoying, you know.
GG & UKB join them in center ring.
CT: Reege here thinks that this is like The Truman Show, you know, someone is making this all up, and we’re the unwitting participants.
GG: That’s not right. We’ve seen Simon and Nick at different stages, they’ve looked different every time. They’ve looked exactly like they always looked at those time periods. Believe me, I know.
RP: Well WHAT else could it BE?
UKB: Why do you have to talk like that? It bothers me. Could you stop with the emphasis on every other word, please?
RP: I CAN’T. It’s habit NOW. They’ve made me DO it for so LONG.
UKB: Oh, never mind. At least we don’t have to listen to you on our show. We’ll be right back.
UKB takes Nick by the arm and drags him with her.
NR: Where are we going?
UKB: I don’t like it here. He bugs me.
NR: I don’t know if this is a really good idea.
UKB: Yes it is, trust me. I’m the Primary Adjunct to the OVERSEES Pink Shoes Unimatrix.
NR: Oh. That explains it all.
NR & UKB go behind the seats and get into the Weinermobile.
UKB: Now, I need to program this so everyone will go with us.
NR: Well, why don’t you press that one?
UKB: I don’t kno-o-ow.
NR: What DO you know, then?
UKB: Fine, press it.
NR presses button. All of a sudden, everyone appears back in the Weinermobile. Including Regis.
RP: What is going on?
UKB: Oh, no! Not him. Nick, change it now! Nick presses another button, Reege disappears.
MP starts fiddling around with the buttons while UKB is looking around to make sure that Reege really is gone.
CT (bats MP away from the control panel) No, Matty - this isn’t for your use.
MP: Aww, come on sweetie, please let me play?
CT: I like it when you call me sweetie. No. Now go over there and be quiet. I have a plan. CT starts fiddling with the buttons again. Weinermobile starts spinning faster than light, faster than light, faster than li-i-iight.
GG: Oh, will you look at that?
CT: What is it?
GG: It’s a mansion! Where did you bring us?
CT: Oh, jeeze, I thought I programmed June 6, 2000, so we could get that darned cd Pop Trash.
NR: Why on earth would anyone call their cd Pop Trash? They’re just making themselves fodder for the critics.
CT (rolls eyes) Mmm hmmm. Remember that, sweetheart.
GG: Well, it doesn’t look like you did it right! What the hell is THAT?
UKB, KS (who’d been absent of late), MP, CT, NR, SleB all turn. Simon and Nick scream: AAAAAAKT!
Everyone steps outside the weinermobile except KS, Simon, and Nick.
UKB touches the arm of a stranger. The stranger stops, looks at UKB.
UKB: Cheerio, what is the date today if you wouldn't mind?
Stranger: June 6.
CT: Did I not TELL you people I could operate the weinermobile as well as any of the rest of you?
GG, looks around, slants eyes in skepticism.
GG: One more thing, if you don't mind. June 6, what?
Stranger: You mean, June 6, 1959?
GG, UKB whip heads around, glare at CT.
GG: (seething.) Yes, that's what she meant. Thank you very much.
UKB: In the eyes of a stranger...whoa-oh....
CT: (shrugging) Some days are strange to number.
UKB: (practically catatonic now) Some say the seventh sounds a little bit stranger...
CT: A year of Sundays seems to have drifted right by...
MP: I could have sworn in one evening, but now I'm so lost I have no idea...
GG: Well, CT, now we're in 1959. What the heck are we going to do now?
UKB: Good question, GG, because Duran Duran aren't even.. A teenager holding an infant and a toddler exit the weinermobile.
Teenager: WHAT in the name of John Wayne are we DOING HERE?
CT (turns to GG) He even talked like that back in the fifties?
GG: I guess so. CT, do you comprehend in that odd little mind of yours that if THAT is the young Regis Philbin, then the little boy must be--
LB: Bis...cuit!
CT (frowns) Biscuit? Isn't that a dog's name?
UKB: You eejit, Crystal Tears! Biscuit is British for cookie! American children learning to talk say "cookie." British children, who are better than American children by virtue of their being BRITISH, say "biscuit." The boy's name is--
LB: Bon. Simon le Bon.
CT's eyebrows almost rise clear off her forehead.
CT: Then the infant is...
UKB: Well, I don't think Nick is born yet. Another little boy bounds out of the weinermobile.
GG: Holy moley. That's young Kevin Spacey.
CT: Hmm...thank goodness that I am also representing George, from the Nancy Drew mystery series. Because my detective instincts tell me that that baby is supposed to represent Nick, even though he's not born yet.
BABY: AAAAAKHT!
CT, UKB, GG nod in confidence now.
MP: OK, so they've all de-aged, but we're...
GG: Still fine. I guess because we can't regress, we're all too young to have been born in the fifties.
LBakaYSleB toddles over to GG, pulls at the hemline of her TLM original dress, scampers underneath the dress.
GG: Yep, this is Simon all right.
UKB: I want to hold Baby Nick!
MP: You have pink hair. What if you scare him?
UKB: SCARE him? I'm a mum, don't you know! (stares at MP, thinks evil thoughts, breathes fire, looks strangely like Hell Queen)
RP: You want to hold THE BABY! Sure, everybody wants to hold a BABY! (puts Nick in UKB's arms.)
GG: You must be a really annoying kid.
RP: (throws hands up in the air.) Sure, now I'm annoying! Why not! Let's play!
CT: Uh, Reege, play what?
RP: Let's play, who wants a milkshake?
MP, CT, GG raise hands.
GG: I've been thirsty most of this story. And God knows I'm not trusting any Snapple while I'm around these people.
RP: Snapple! What in the WORLD are you TALKING ABOUT?!
UKB: (rocking baby Nick) Hey, Regis, how is it that you're here, anyway? I specifically got rid of you before we left...
RP: We left where? What are you TALKING ABOUT?
CT: Please stop saying that. Never mind, UKB, it's obviously yet another one of the many weinermobile glitches. Could we please just go to get a milkshake?
Young Regis leads the crew to a drugstore. All hop up on stools.
SleB: Ice cream!
GG: That's right, Simon, you can have a little bit of ice cream.
SleB: Kiss you!
GG (giggles) Well, all right, then, just a little one...
CT: You're sick, Gemini Girl. He's a year old, for cripes sake!
GG: (wrinkles nose at CT) Simon, sing this, honey: La-va La-va La-va lamp...
SleB: lalalalaallaaalala...
GG: That's a good start.
UKB: What are we going to do about food for Baby Nick?
CT: Do you think he's hungry?
UKB: Well, we don't know, do we? But we can't give him a sandwich on white bread, that's for certain!
MP: How do we even know we'll be here for very long? I mean, we up and leave pretty quickly from these little jaunts. Juke box plays Ricky Nelson song. Joanie and Chachi from "Happy Days" and "Joanie loves Chachi" fame are dancing in the open area behind the soda fountain. The Fonz lights a cigarette. Kevin Spacey and Simon scamper off to play with a red ball that someone has left behind. Out of the corner of their eyes, CT and GG simultaneously see the red ball. They are about to gasp, when suddenly this soda shop/drugstore/cool '50s hangout is bathed in light.
UKB: Fah-stah than light, fah-stah than light,
GG: (smacks UKB's shoulder) SHH!!! This light is different, and the room's not shaking.
CT: Oh dear. Is this the second coming? A handsome Italian man dressed entirely in white suddenly comes dancing down a staircase that wasn't there before...
HIM: Your story's sad to tell A teenage ne'er do well Most mixed up nondeliquent on the block...
CT & GG (having already cut their teeth in the backup singing biz sing) Beauty school dropout
UKB: What? Why is everyone looking at me and singing?
Frankie Avalon: Aren't you the beauty school dropout?
UKB: Well *whispers to CT* he is kinda cute *speaks loudly so that Frankie can hear* Yes! I am the beauty school dropout. You can sing to me some more, please.
FA: The spirit's kind of gone now, sorry. Maybe next time.
UKB: Ooooh, rats!
GG: CT! Look, behind here! CT and GG go around a corner.
UKB fawns over Frankie while Nick coos in her arms.
Frankie looks slightly disturbed now that he sees the baby. Wondering if perhaps this scene was written as a joke on him. CT comes back out from behind the corner wearing tight black leather pants, a tube top, leather jacket and hair all wild. GG follows her wearing a poodle skirt, cardigan sweater and a headband.
GG: *mutters* Why am I the good Sandy? Sheesh. You're the one that went to the Jesuit college. I went to frat parties in Boston where they played Guns n' Roses all night. Welcome to the jungle my ass.
CT: Look, I've been a goody-two-shoes all my life. Just once I want to be the bad Sandy. And I won the one potato two potato.
GG: I know, I know.
CT: I think I look kinda good in these pants. What do you think?
GG: Your butt looks funny for some reason. Come here.
CT: Uh, no, no that's okay.
GG: No, come here, let me fix it. GG reaches for the lump protruding from CT's rear side, and finds the red ball.
CT: Look, I can explain everything.
GG: What? It's just the red ball. Give it to baby Simon.
CT (looking relieved) O-o-kay. C'mere, Si Si. Do you want to play with the little red ball?
YSleB: NOOOOO! La la la la la la la la.
GG: Oh, isn't that cute! He's trying to sing lava lamp.
YSleB reaches for CT's chest. CT swats his hand away. He reaches again. She swats his hand again.
CT: He keeps trying to grab my --
MP: Heeeyyyy. How YOU doin'?
CT: God, when are you going to realize 1) you're not Joey, and 2) you're not on Friends right now?
MP: I know, I just haven't quite found myself yet.
KS: Hey, lady! I like your skirt, it's preeettty.
GG: Thank you. See, people like the good Sandy.
CT: He's a kid, Gemini.
GG: Well, still.
UKB: Ooh, here comes John Travolta!
CT: No. That's Knickie.
GG: A hickie from Knickie means that you care enough to send the very best.
MP: I think you've watched Grease one too many times.
GG: Will someone please get this guy a better writer? Please? He's on my last nerve!
UKB: Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee...
GG: Are you making fun of me?
UKB: Chang chang, changedy chang de bop.
GG: I think you are.
CT: No, she's not. Her name is Sandy.
GG: Oops. Sorry! No harm.
UKB: Here comes one scary looking chick. And she looks like a ho.
GG: That's just CT.
UKB: No, this is CT. That's one scary ho!
MP: Maybe it's FlamingB!tchHo from the other world.
UKB: No, that's not it. She is me. I am her. I can't be both at the same time is what I mean to say.
CT: This could be a glitch in the system. Let me see if I can fix this. *CT starts fiddling around with the control panel again*
MP: You know, this is getting really tiring, going from one place and time to another within very short periods. Can't we just stay in one place?
GG: Let her do what she wants. She always gets what she wants. She's the bad Sandy. I'm only the good Sandy.
KS: Hey lady, you sound kinda maad. Are ya?
GG: No, dear. I'm not mad. She just gets everything, that's all.
CT: I do not! *giggles* Okay, well I guess I do. Anyway, let me see if I can fix this.
GG: Well, bye Frankie! It's been nice.
UKB: Maybe you can sing to me another time.
FA: *ahem* Sure, whenever.
YSleB: La la la late...
CT: Aww, isn't that cute. He's already got Late Bar in his head. *CT fiddles with the buttons some more, weinermobile spins around faster than light, faster than light, faster than li-i-ight*
GG: Okay, now what is this?
CT: There are microphones and speakers, guitars. What is this? *strains of Skin Trade can be heard in the background*
GG: Oh, no. They must be recording Notorious. I don't like this. I don't want to be here. Make it go away *covers ears and sings la la la la la*
CT: You spent too much time with Simon last time.
GG: Please!
CT: Let me see what I can do. *fiddles with control panel some, but nothing happens*
KS: Let me see what I can do. *KS fiddles with control panel some, there's a loud explosion, smoke fills the Weinermobile, the mobile starts to shake...*
With a choke and a sputter, they're OFF again!
MP: I think we're moving!
UKB: Of course we're moving. Look at Simon, Nick, and Kevin, they're aging as we go!
CT: Seems we lost Reege again.
GG: I LOVE these glitches! (files nails, smirks thinking of CT stuffing her hot pants with the red ball inside) SleB looks over at CT and GG, scrunches up his cute face.
SleB: I can't remember quite how I met you.
CT: It wasn't long ago.
SleB: I just get a picture of sun in your eyes, the waves in your hair.
CT (giggles) I know, it's the Rene Russo cut...Kimmie got me the pictures off the web, and I went to a new hairdresser to get it done.
SleB (musing) Maybe it's something sad and I'm moving it--
GG: You should have said last night. When we were on the Mass Pike.
NR: It could be the atmosphere sinking.
SleB: I don't know what you're thinking. I don't even know what you're drinking.
GG: Well, as I mentioned, he's obviously not drinking Snapple.
KS: Tang.
UKB: Pardon, please?
GG: Tang, UKB, it's what the astronauts drink.
CT: You still think they drink Tang? I'll bet they're into Gatorade or something now.
GG: How can you say that, CT, we don't even know what "now" is!!!
UKB: (sigh) We're about to find out. We're coming in for a landing.
The weinermobile sounds like it is backfiring. Kevin Spacey looks concerned.
MP: This is pretty bumpy. I could SO hurl!
UKB: Hurl...how eloquent, Mr. Perry. Really, you're a modern day Cicero!
NR: (chuckles) Cicero...that's a good one, love.
UKB: Why thank you! And isn't it luverly to see you out of your nappies!
GG: CT! You've got her talking like Eliza Doolittle again, it's stupid! Why are you giving UKB a cockney accent?
CT: Leave me alone.
(THUD. Weinermobile touches down. Sparks fly out of one end of the tube steak.)
KS: I think it's safe to say we've made our last trip in the weinermobile. (Sizzling sound increases volume.)
NR: We need to get out of here quickly!
CT: I am not going to die in a weinermobile. Especially if I am still a--
UKB: Vegetarian?
SleB: Flammable clothes-wearer?
GG snickers audibly.
GG: Come out Virginia, don't make him wait!
MP: (looks at GG as if she is Joey Tribbiani) What are you, an alumnus of We Didn't Start the Fire U.?
NR: (looks around) Did?
MP, GG, UKB, CT: Did what?
NR: "We didn't stahhhhht the fiyah, you 'did?'" I'm helping him to finish his sentence.
CT: Don't listen to much Billy Joel, do ya? (pinches Nick's cheek)
Nick: Unhand me!
UKB: Yes, please don't touch Nick, CT, it's enough that you keep pawing Simon and Matthew Perry.
CT: I am not pawing them! (reddens)
GG: No, but Bad Sandy was...
CT tries not to get caught as she slides her hand out from underneath Simon's T-shirt.
NR: So, anywaaaaay, smoke is now filling our cabin, may we disembark, people?
GG tries not to get caught as she moves her hand out of Simon's hair.
UKB: Let's go, darling. (UKB takes firm grasp of Nick's hand, marches out of weinermobile like she is Trooping the Colours.) Because of the emergency landing, a large inflatable slide/ramp o' relish greets UKB and Nick. UKB grabs Nick, slides down with him on her lap. Spacey rides a scooter down the ramp. MP does a somersault.
CT: Well, Simon, I guess that just leaves you, me, and Gemini.
GG: (steps over a lick of flame) So Simon, if you think about it, CT and I really need to be rescued.
SleB: Rescued?
CT (tries her best to remember her Bad Sandy role) C'mon stud, how's it gonna be?
GG: (elbows self in front of CT) Rescue me, Simon, rescue me!!
SleB: (begins to cough a little, from the smoke) This is looking worse than me Drum mishap!
CT: (holds Regis Philbin's monogrammed handkerchief over her mouth) You're a survivor, Simon, you can make it out of here alive!
SleB: (looks panicked) I don't know. (Eyes grow very big, a la freeze frame in Hungry Like the Wolf, or when he sings "Come out" in the DYBiS video)
GG: Um, CT, he looks a little freaked out to me.
CT: I was just thinking the same thing.
GG: OK, let's stop hitting on him and get him out of here.
SleB: Fairy's Midwife....I'm...I'm....I'm standing...on the edge of the...
CT: Uh oh, Nightboat...you know what's going on in his head if he's thinking Nightboat...
GG: It's getting really bad in here, CT, we need to move.
CT: I know, but every time I take a step, UKB's hair products combust in my path!
GG: Listen, I think we're going to have to shimmy out a bun hole.
CT: That does NOT sound pleasant. And I'm still not as svelte as I want to be.
GG: No time for Moving, Grooving, and Losing now, CT, hang on!!
(GG pops out the bunhole glass, makes some quick movements) Outside the weinermobile, KS, UKB, NR, and MP are waiting and watching. A look of horror passes over their faces as a mushroom-hold-the-pickles cloud erupts and the weinermobile fatally explodes...
BOOM - BOOM BOOM chhhhh
BOOM - BOOM BOOM chhhhh
SleB: Please please tell me now…!