UNBOMSCO News

WORLD WAR II - It's Over! - 15/8/45 13:45
Japan today surrendered, ending World War II. Australians who served totalled 993,000: 27,073 died or were killed in action, 23,477 were wounded, 22,376 were Japanese POWs (8,031 died) and 8,184 were German POWs (265 died). This shows that Australians hate the Japs more than the Gerrys. UNBOMSCO's Comerade Lethal today predicted that there would be no more world wars for another 60 years.

Terry's Mini - It works! 25/8/01 16:10
It was today confirmed that Terry's Mini actually works. Terry, who likes Sarah, said that while he was delighted, he wasn't in the least schuprisched. The vehicle started after several unsuccesful attempts, before being won over with a push start. It is believed that it travelled at least 8 km. Comerade McGoo was there. "look, its great to be out. it makes you really appreciate life more after that ordeal."
In other mini news, Lynton (Terry's brother) 's mini is now protected by stainless steel valve caps. Comerade Lethal says that this is just one move in the battle, and they will continue to reduce the air in the tyres. "We'll just keep at it and see how it all pans out.". The new valves come after an estimated 40% of the air was released from one tyre by Comerade McGoo. McGoo dismissed the connection, saying that Loopy was just a suspicous b****rd.

UNBOMSCO Attacks! - 29/8/01
Fears are heightening tonight that UNBOMSCO is at war with the Sundiman. UNBOMSCO commander Comerade McGoo launched a personal attack on Mr. L. Sandeman, Sundiman chief. Mr. Sandeman suffered only moderate injuries, and is believed to be in concussion and suffering head trauma. Comerade McGoo denies the premeditation of the attack: "It was an accident! ... it did fell kind of good, though".
This attack comes only weeks after Comerade McGoo personally hit Terry in the head with a cricket bat, which followed the smashing of a window at the Sundiman.
Terry refused to comment, instead staring blankly into the distance with arms folded, calling the interviewer an "idiot".

Breaking news - PEACE TALKS IMMINENT - 3/10/01
UNBOMSCO.com has received word that negotiations are underway between UNBOMSCO and the Sundiman. Two Sundiman chiefs were seen by a witness (who wishes to remain anonymous) entering UNBOMSCO joint headquarters at The Boulevard on the 30th of September. This sighting raises speculation that the 2-year lasting cold war could be coming to an end. Neither parties were available for commment.

Exclusive - IT'S ALL OUT WAR - 12/10/01
UNBOMSCO has slammed reports that they are at peace with the Sundiman. Comerade Lethal said yesterday in a stirring speach to his followers that they have won another battle and will win the war. "Far from over, this war is. Over, it will be, when we win!". Comerade McGoo has confirmed that there was a meeting at the boulevard, but it's outcome was far from peaceful. "No, no, no. Not this time! No more meetings, no more discussions, this time its all out war. We go to the mattresses".
The Sundiman was unavailable for comment, but is believed to have made a
number of threats to UNBOMSCO since the meeting.

Ground War Begins! - 13/10/01
Not contrary to recent speculation, the ground war is now underway between UNBOMSCO and The SUNDIMAN. Comerade Lethal provides this exclusive insight: "...We did not want war in the pacific. We have made it perfectly clear that if war ever was to come to the Pacific, it would be at the hand of the Sundiman. The Sundiman, has now made war!"
Comerade McGoo has condemnded the acts of the Sundiman. "These... malicious acts reek of terrorism! These two brothers have launched an unprecedented and unprovoked attack on humanity. Always two there are - no more, no less."
In a rare move by the political commander, it was Comerade Lethal who responded first, happily providing another head-wound to the Sundiman chief last night.
You can download the audio of Comerade McGoo's delighted response to this action by his colleague.