Unlimited Donkey

"Because the market was flooded with limited donkeys."

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Final Fantasy Unlimited

Square-Enix was bound to do it eventually.  In fact, they did it a long time ago, like 1999.  But as red tape goes, translators, dubbers, etc., USA just now gets to see the final product.  And its ... its OK.. Its very much like a boy style sailor moon kind of set-up.  Technically the main characters are twins, a boy and a girl, (although the boy looks and sounds like a girl and wears floppy socks...>_<) and anyway theres also some wierd magical woman that follows them around too. The three get on a train to "wonderland" from their home world, Earth.  Wonderland turns out to be  a very scary place and they periodically hop the train to new worlds searching for the twins' parents.  The woman never says what shes looking for, but the girl twin (which one was that again?!) bets its her boyfriend. *shrug*  I'd rather it was me. Va Va Voom! The real star of the series though, is Kurai Kaze, the man of the black wind, who shows up comatose midway through the first episode in a tree in wonderland.  Not a spctacular entrance, but he makes up for it with his bad ass woopin' gun o' summoning. When armed, Kaze chooses the 'soil' thats approriapte for kickin your ass with and loades them into the blender-o-matic (aka the Magun, the demon gun) and out pops your own customized executioner.  Nearly fail proof since the soil is color coded ^_^. Convienent, but where do you get 'Lightning Yellow' Soil?  Wherever he gets it at, he should return his catch phrase: "I have determined the soil that is appropriate for you."  H&R Block meglomanics for a 100, Donkey. Another odd point.  The Japanese need to start coming up with thier own words for things.  One of the Main Bad Guy's underlings says "Unlimited" more like "Donkey Ass" (technially he said "uuunnn-lee-mi-ted-do".  No worries though.  Everything in FFU is unlimited.  Fabula, the narrorator before every episode is your "Unlimited Guide" and she offers "Unlimited guidence".  Black Wind's power is supposedly 'unlimted'.  Everything is unlimited.  I thought it was so hilarious, I adopted the sentiment as part of my website.

Unlimited Donkey

"Donkey.3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333"

Then there's the animation.  What can I say here - the 3D is pretty good for a TV series.  It's not like Spirits Within - but its ok.  The character designs are a little odd though.  Kaze looks like a balls ass to the wall bad ass.  Probably the coolest looking character in the series.  The mysterious girl also is designed with a similar look, tribal but trendy.  Nearly everyone else from the monsters to the twins (especially the twins) look like Tezuka's art style.  A bizarre contrast, bubbles and butt-kickers. To be brief, rent.  If your not a Final Fantasy fan, this anime doesn't really have anything you cant find anywhere else - but if you are its fun to see Kaze woop out classic summons on the baddies.  And the closing song of crack fiend chocobos is nearly worth the whole damn thing.