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| Quotes |
| Whenever I start feeling blue, I start breathing again. -Larry Baum The speaker began by saying, "I am so nervous this morning I think I could thread a sewing machine when it's running. -Lawrence Brotherton It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday just exactly fits into the newspaper! -Jerry Seinfeld Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. -E.B. White Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. -Will Rogers There ain't no rules around here! We're trying to accomplish something! -Thomas Edison Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. -Phyllis Diller If you pick up a stareving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between dog and man. -Mark Twain Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working. -Anonymous "Time is an illusion. Lunch-time doubly so. We'll burn that bridge when we come to it. -Yogi Berra From Mafia vs Ninja: You talk too much, let's fight. On the difference between men and women. We will never experience child-birth, but on the other hand, we can open our own jars. -Jeff Green Our toaster works either AC or DC, but not on bread. It has two settings: Too soon or too late. -Sam Levenson People who are often in a hurry imagine they are energetic, when in most cases they are simply inefficient. -Sydney J. Harris Sometimes God doesn't tell us his plan because we wouldn't believe it anyway. -Carlton Pearson Sometimes I lay awake at night and i ask, Where have I gone wrong? Then a voice says to me, This is going to take more than one night. -Charlie Brown Half of the world's misery comes from ignorance. The other half comes from intelligence. -Unknown If you go out looking for friends, you're going to find they are very scarce. if you go out to BE a friend, you'll find them everywhere. -Zig Zigler If you have the desire, you are halfway there. -E. Crique If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places. -Andrew Mason Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. -Don Knuth A finished product is one that has already seen it's better days. -Art Linkletter If you set an example, you won't need to set any rules. -Mama Zigler If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. -Mark Twain Crazy men see ghosts, and sane men ignore them. -Unknown If you treat a man as he is, he will remain as he is; if you trat him as he ought to be and could be, he will become as ought to be and could be. -Goethe |
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