| Red Face, Continued |
| While on vacation, my husband and I decided to go swimming with stingrays., a popular attraction. Our group entered the shallow water for our swim when suddenly, I let out a blood-curdling scream, sure that I had just stepped on one of the stingrays' sharp spines. then I heard the voice of the woman behind me. "It's alright everyone, she just stepped on one of my toes." A longtime teacher, I was driving to school one morning when a police officer pulled me over and told me I'd been driving 10 miles over the speed limit. As I handed him my license, he looked surprised and said, "You used to be my teacher!" He placed his hand over his badge and joked, "I won't give you a ticket if you can tell me what my name is." I couldn't place him, so I said, "You look so familiar." He laughed and said, "I was in your driver's ed course!" I apologized profusely and he let me off with just a warning. When my husband's boss invited us out to dinner, I was very excited and wanted to make a good impression. Things were going well when the waitress arrived with out salads - large chunks of lettuce arranged artistically on a small plate. As I tried to cut the lettuce into smaller pieces, my fork suddenly slipped and a hunk of lettuce flew straight down the neckline of my dress! Too embarassed to speak, I shot up from my chair and fled to the ladies' room with everyone watching. I was attendingt an awards ceremony with a friend who was being honored, and as we mingled, admiring the lavishly decorated tables being set up for the event. I noticed a photographer aiming his camera in our direction. Excited, I called to the man to hold on for a moment as I pulled my friend closer and shot him a gleaming smile. Lowering his camera, he looked at us strangely and called back loudly, "I was trying to get a photo of the table, I'm with the caterer." As people began to laugh, I apologized, grabbed my friend and hurried away.m One evening, my husband dropped me off at the doctor's office and waited in the car while I went to pick up some forms. As I came out, I walked toward the car and saw a big dent in the left rear fender. Shocked and angered, I knocked on the window and screamed, "What in the world happened to the car?" I began to open the door and noticed a strange man looking back at me. Embarassed by my mistake, I quickly mumbled an apology and fled the scene only to notice my husband parked on the other side of the street. He had seen the whole thing and was roarding with laughter. One hectic morning, my kids missed their bus, so I quickly drove them to school. After kissing them and watching them run inside, I drove a few feet and the car stalled. After trying unsuccessfully to restart it, I hurried inside to the principal's office to get help. Boy, was my face red when I looked down and realized I was standing there wearing my flannel pajamas and robe! A few days after my husband and I moved into our new home. Several of our neighbors came over and welcomed us to the neighborhood. About two weeks later, I was grocery shopping and a woman I thought I had never seen before stopped me and styarted chatting. Confused, I asked her where she knew me from. Boy was my face red when she politely replied, "I'm your nest-door neighbor!" Recently, I attended a conferencce on women's health issues. During the break, I began chatting with a woman sitting next to me. She asked what I thought of the conference so far, and I said that it was very interesting, but I didn't care for the last speaker. Her face dropped and in an angry tone of voice, she replied, "That was my sister!" I sat there speachless. One morning, I was running late for a job interview. I quickly put a few hot rollers in my hair, threw on some mascara, and ran out the door. Although I was frazzled, I had a great interview, until I turned to leave and heard the interviewer laughing! "Did you forget something this morning?" she asked, pointing to the back of my head. I reached around and felt two large rollers still in my hair! Talk about making an impression! While flying recently for my job, I was seated behind a couple and their two young children. The ki8ds were restless and crying, so I decided to try to entertain them by blowing bubbles with my chewing gum. On my first try, I must have blown with a little twoo much force because the gum suddenly shot out of my mouth and hit the children's father on the back of the neck, where it stuck! My face turned red as I stammered an apology and sank back down in my seat waiting for the flight to be over. After waiting in a long line at the video store, I finally handed the cashier my videos and waited to be rung up. Swiping my debit card to pay, I waited and waited and waited. At last, the cashier said the machine wasn't reading my card. As the people behind me stirred restlessly, I swiped my card again. Finally the cashier asked to see the card and began to laugh. "This isn't a debit card, it's your health insurance card!" she said loudly. The people behind me began to laugh, and I apologized, seiped the correct card and ran out of the store as fast as I could. As part of my morning routine, I'd wear an old bathrobe over my work clothes so they wouldn't get dirty while feeding the baby. Running late one morning, I dropped the baby off at daycare and hurried to work. Rushing in, I quickly hung up my coat and sat at my desk. Just as my boss came over to greet me, I looked down and realized I was still wearing my bathrobe! With flushed cheeks, I pulled off the robe and stuffed it under my desk. In a rush to finish my errands, I pulled into my bank's drive-through, grabbed a check and deposit slip from my purse and sent them through the tube. A minute later, the teller looked over at me and asked if I intended to deposit a check. When I said yes, she replied, "Well, you gave me your grocery list. I have a few items I can add if you'd like!" The tellers must have had a good laugh that day. Running late one day after playing dress-up with my three-year-old daughter, I rushed with her to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. When the cashier commented on my lipstick, I smiled, "Thanks," I was heading toward the exit when I noticed people starring at me. Puzzled, I glanced in the mirror in my car and there, spread from cheek to cheek, was red lipstick smeared all over my fac3e! I had forgotten to wipe it off after playing dress-up! My frienbd and I were walking through tyhe mall food court when an employee approached us with a tray fo free samples of chicken and dipping sauce. It was delicious, and as we strolled on deciding where to eat lunch, I spotted another, similar tray sitting at the end of a counter. Wanting another bite, I grabbed a piece of chicken,m dipped it, and popped into my mouth. The cashier looked up at me and said, "That's someone's order!" I fled the scene with a very red face! Headed to my first day as a temp at a large corporation, I got lost and arrived with only a few minutes to spare. I sped into the parking lot, chose the first spot I could find and nervously made my way into the building. The office manager was showing me around when suddenly, an announcement came over the loudspeaker. "Will the owner of a car with the following license plate please move their vehicle. You are parked int he president's parking space" In horror, I let out a gasp and felt my face turn hot as I rushed to move my car and the entire office chuckled. What a first day! My grown daughters and I were shopping when we stopped to sample some lotions and prefunes on display. My daughters walked ahead as I stopped to try a new fragrance. I had sprayed a generous amount on myself when a salesclerk came by and asked if I needed any help, to which I replied, "No, thank you." Looking as if she was ready to burst into laughter, she informed me that I had just spritzed myself with room deodorizer! My daughters doubled over in laughter! While on vacation with my family, we went into a gift shop to purchase some souvenirs. As I was shopping, I noticed my teenage son standing in the aisle, and acted on impulse to give him a light kiss on the head. Just after I gave him my special kiss, I noticed my son standingt across the room and I realized that I had just kissed the wrong kid! We all had a lot of laughs over that one. I was running so late for work one morning that I grabbed my toast and coffee and ate in the car on the way to the office. When I arrived at the office, I rushed to ready myself for my first appointment. As I sat down in the chair across from my client, she pointed down at my feet and stasrted laughing. I'd been in such a rush that morning, I had managed to put on two different color shoes! I was seated at a large table playing bingo at a local hall. Suddenly I began to sneeze uncontrollably and my bridge fell out and landed on a girl's bingo card on the other side of the table. I quickly got up, grabbed my teeth and dashed off to the bathroom with bright red cheeks. While I was in labor with my first child, the nurses told my husband to put on scrubs and meet us in the delivery room. After my daughter was born, my husband turned to walk out of the room, and we all got a good laugh. His white underwear was peeking out of the back of his scrubs. His face was red as the nurses told him that the scrubs were meant to go OVER his cloths! |