I work for a V.A. hospital where all of the employees wear white uniforms. One day, I saw a couple in "civilian" clothes walking across the lawn. Getting closer, I recognized the man as a lab technician at the hospital. As I stopped to say hello, I blurted out, "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on. "Thankfully, he and his wife both knew exactly what I meant and began laughing as my face turned bright red.
My husband and I were shopping in a department store when I decided to stop in the lingerie department. Spotting an adorable nightgown, I held it up and turned around and asked, "What do you think of this?" Boy, was my face red when I heard a man's voice reply, "I think it looks nice, but you should ask your husband."
While at the hospital visiting my husband who recently had minor facial surgery, I decided to go for a walk in the hall while he slept. After an hour, I noticed my husband with his nose bandaged, being pushed toward me on a bed. I started to smile at him, since he looked much better and to cheer him up, I jokingly called out, "Nice beak!" As the bed got closer, the man on it began to talk and it was then I realized it wasn't my husband!
I commute to work and find it easier to wear sneakers on the bus and change into my heels at the office. So I keep a few pairs under my desk that match my wardrobe. One lunch hour I went out wearing my sneakers, and when I returned, my boss called me unexpectedly into a meeting. I quickly slipped back into my heels to meet the new clients and give them a tour of the office. It wasn't until we reached the cafeteria that I looked down and realized I had been wearing one black shoe and one red one.
My last day of work before leaving for vacation was very hectic. I quickly recorded a voicemail message leaving the dates that I would be out of the office. Just as I was about to replay the message to review it, my boss called me in for a last-minute meeting and I forgot all about it. . . until I returned to work and my boss mentioned that I might want to change my voicemail message pronto. Boy was my face red when I called my number and heard, "Hi, you've reached the voicemail of - OOPS! Oh No!"
Every year, I bake several loaves of my famous pumpkin bread and freeze them for the holidays. Busy with last-minute errands, I forgot to defrost a loaf the night before a family gathering. In the morning I grabbed one from the freezer and headed out the door with my family. When we arrived, I placed it on the warm oven, hoping it would be ready in time for dessert. Boy, was I surprised when the hostess unwrapped the foil and discovered a pound of thawed ground beef.
Alarmed when my vision suddenly got worse, I asked my eye doctor to squeeze me in. After giving me a quick test, he was amazed that I'd managed to drive to the appointmehnt, that's how poor my vision was, even with my contacts in! Concerned, he examined my eyes and smiled. "Well," he said, "All you need to do is switch the lenses. You have your right lens in your left eye and vice versa." I switched the lenses and saw much better on the trip home.
While running errands, I stopped at a local fast-food restraunt for lunch. After ordering, I stood near the counter mentally reviewing the other stops I needed to make that day. When the waitress called, "Order up," I grabbed my tray and quickly found a seat. I had just taken a large bite of my sandwich when a man came rushing over and loudly announced, "You're eating my lunch!" Deep in thought, I didn't realize I was eating a chicken sandwich instead of the burger I had ordered.
While grocery shopping, I keep my two young daughters entertained by mimicking the sounds of gears shifting and tires sq2uealing as I maneuver our cart through the store. They love it, and it keeps them from being bored on an otherwise dull errand. One day, I raced my cart down an aisle, sound effects roaring and nearly collided with another shopper's cart. After apologizing to the startled customer, my face turned even redder when I realized I'd been "racing" with no kids in the cart - they were at home with their dad.
After a day of shopping, I found a beautiful black dress on sale that I knew I could wear to a friend's wedding. I took it to my local tailor for some alterations, and too busy to try it on again, hungit in my closet. A couple of days befoe the wedding, I did a "dress rehersal" at home and discov discoverdd the dress didn't fit right! Upset, I charged back to the shop and said the dress was ruined. As I tried the dress on to show the seamstress what I meant, she smiled and said, "You have it on backwards."
I had the day off from work, so I decided to treat myself to a day of pampering. My plan was to dye my hair, and while waiting for it to "take" give myself a facial. Just as I applied the green facial mask, the doorbell rang. I waited a few minutes to give the visitor a chance to leave, then I went to sneakna peek. When I did, there was the UPS delivery mabn staring back at me! My "green" cheeks turned blazing red as I opened the door to accept my package.
Getting dressed for work one cold morning, I put on a blue cardigan fresh from the dryer and rushed out the door. At work, I grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to my desk. A few minutes later, a co-worker passed by my desk and struck up a conversation. While chatting with him, I felt something bunchy beneath my sweater. Without thinking I reached inside and much to my chagrin, pulled out an electrically charged pair of black lacy panties.
While shopping with my sister, I headed into the dressing room with an armful of clothes. After deciding on a pretty black dress, I hurried out to show her and noticed she was looking at the same dress. Sneaking up behind her, I rested my chin on her shoulder and said, "You can't get that one. I already have it!" Boy was I surprised when a startled stranger turned around! I quicly apologized and beat a hasty retreat to find my sister.
Every year, my company has a fall picnic for its employees. This year, in addition to music and games, there werenpeople doing face-painting. I decided it would be fun to have my face painted like a cat. When the picnic was over, I had to stop at the supermarket for somenthings. As I walked into the store, I noticed people were looking at me strangely. That's when I remembered the face-painting. My cat face and I quickly exited the store.
While shopping, I noticed a store was having a coat sale. It was chaos: crowded and messy, with Jackets tossed all over the floor. I found a few that I liked and draped them over a bench near a mirror. After trying them on, I decided I didn't like any of them, so I pulled on my black jacket and headed toward the exit. Just as I reached the door, the alarm went off and a sales clerk came rushing over. It wasn't until she pointed to the tag that I realized I had accidentally taken the wrong coat! I explained my mistake. Luckily they let me leave with my old jacket.
Recently my friend and I headed to the Florida Keys for a little rest and relaxation. While leaving the beach one day, my friend went to wait by th4e outside shower to rinse the sand off. It was very hot, and I became impatient. So when I noticed two buckets of water nearby, I soaked my sandy feet in them. As I stood there with my feet immersed in the buckets, a man came rushing over and shouted, "You're standing in the sanitizing solution I use for my guests' snorkeling gear!" I quickly apologized and fled the beach.
I teach at a university and often have lunch in the busy cafeteria. On a particularly hectic day, I threw my office keys on my tray and quickly grabbed a sandwich and a cut of soup. After emptying my tray, I hurried back to my office and realized I didn't have my keys. I ran back to the cafeteria and asked the manager if anyone had returned a set of keys. After shaking his head, he started searching the trash bin where I'd emptied my tray. I then felt the keys in my pants pocket. I quickly apologized and fled the cafeteria.
I had just returned to work from a long vacation and was eager to start my day. As I sat down at my desk, I noticed a vase with some slightly wilted flowers. Thinking ythat they belonged to the temp who had filled in for me, I took them up to the kitchen and dumped them in the garbage. Just as I was settling into my chair, a co-worker came over and asked what happened to the flowers. "Oh, they were wilted so I threw them out!" To my surprise, she replied, "I bought ythem for you this morning!" I stammered an apology and ran back to the kitchen to retrieve the flowers.
While shopping on my lunch hour, I found a pretty floral skirt on sale. It was the last one in my size, so I bought it and never bothered to try it on. Running late for work one morning, I quickly pulled on my new skirt and rushed out the door. At the office, I noticed several of my co-workers giving me odd looks. Thinking I had smudged my make-up, I went to the ladies room to see what was wro9ng. When I looked in the mirror and realized my new skirt was completely see-through! From now on, I try everything on before buying it!