Ohh… too bad for that guy. What was he spraying down his throat?
Muscle relaxer I think… *hands over spray bottle*
*looks over bottle* Crap. This is my deodorant.
Damn. That sucks. Poor chap.
I guess I shouldn’t keep this stuff on the same table as the throat lozenges.
Nope. Probably not.
Damn.
Yup.
He had a nice voice too.
Yup.
Damn.
Yup.
*runs in screaming* What in the world will we do?! We need a tenor in thirty seconds before the curtain goes up!
*Marx Brothers walk through discussing and tearing up contracts*
Okay…
That won’t work. *hides deodorant behind back*
Um… I can sing Row Row Row Your Boat…
YAHHH!!! *tears at hair*
Dundundundun! Random dude who just happens to have a costume to the rescue!
Who the hell?
Who cares! Get the fuck onstage!
Okiedokie.
Wait a sec… did we even ask that guy if he can sing?
Get the manager back!
Too late… *staring at body of manager who just spritzed some deodorant down his throat*
You really need to be more careful with that.
Yup.
*singing from onstage*
That guy ain’t bad.
Keep him away from your deodorant!
Fine. Sheesh… *walks off to hide deodorant*
*nudges manager with his foot* Geez. That stuff’s lethal.
*first dead guy* Yup.
I need a drink.
Hey! *runs back in* This isn’t even my deodorant! I use pine fresh and this is berry madness!
What the fuck?
I didn’t kill him! *does a jig*
I need several drinks.
Who here uses berry madness deodorant?!
*singing stops*
They can hear you onstage dude.
Oh.
Yup.
Sorry.
Yup.
Time for a random act of kindness! *girl scout kisses guy*
Kindness would be a gin and tonic.
Alcohol! *gasps* Oh my virgin ears!
I like virgins.
Shut up!
Eep! *runs away*
Damn.
Hey! *runs in* There’s a dead man hanging from the fire escape and there’s a poodle loose in the audience!
Does the poodle have any whiskey?
Spray this at them! *tosses deodorant bottle*
Hey! So you’re the one who stole my deodorant!
Arrest that man!
*claps handcuffs on him* Stagehand, you’re under arrest for manslaughter. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Curses! I would’ve gotten away with it too if hadn’t been for you meddling kids!
*clubs himself over the head with a sandbag*
Can I help with that? *shoots him*
Coulda just used the deodorant.
Too easy.
Really?
Yup.
Never woulda thunk it.
Yup.
Yeeek! There are people singing out there!
Yeah. It’s called an Opera.
AHHHHHHHH!!!
What the hell?
AHHHHHH!!! *pushes past police and deodorant bottle flies up into the air*
NO!
*bottle breaks*
Look! Poodles!
*poodles drink up deodorant*
There was more than one loose in the theater?
No, the whole audience was turned into poodles.
I hate it when that happens.
Yup.
And the actors have all been killed by the fumes.
Damn.
Yup.
What happened to that guy on the fire escape?
He’s dead.
Oh yeah.
Yup.
Want a donut?
Sure.
