7. Remember the example of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace)
Remember the clemency, forbearance, and easy-going nature of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) with others, and did not get angry unless the anger was for the sake of Allah. The examples of this from his life are numerous. The scholars say that every Muslim should strive to read about the life and example of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) daily.
8. Remember the harms of anger.
Be aware of the harms of anger, which include falling into that which Allah deems impermissible of words or actions, and acting in a way unbefitting of a believer. Would we act like this if we were aware that Allah sees all our actions? Would we act like this in the presence of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace)?
Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haytami (Allah have mercy on him) counted getting wrongly angry as one of the first major sins in his Zawajir.
9. Remember that anger is generally animalistic.
Be aware that one resembles animals, more than noble humans, when in a state of anger. [Barkawi, Tariqa]
Acquiring Good Character
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Imam Zafar al-Tahanawi mentioned, in the final chapter of his I`la’ al-Sunan, translated as Sufism & Good Character,
Refining (tazkiyya) character traits is one of the most central concerns of the Sufis, for they consider noble traits to be stations on the spiritual path. They were distinguished from others by their good character, and through it they were known. Whoever reflect on the the Qur’an and Sunna will know that good character is as central to religion as a foundation is to a building.
Improving character traits is not possible except through spiritual struggle at the hands of a perfected spiritual guide (shaykh) who has struggled with his own self, opposed his caprice, left lowly character traits, and adorned himself with praiseworthy ones. Whoever thinks they can achieve this by mere knowledge and the study of books has erred and gone far astray. Just as (outward) knowledge is only acquired through study with the scholars, good character is acquired by struggling to attain it at the hands of the knowers of Allah. [F: Imam Muhammad `Ali Al-Tahanawi, who is not related to the author, cautioned in Kashshaf Istilahat al-Funun that: “When a seeker (murid) thinks that he has found a spiritual guide, it is incumbent upon him to be cautious and exert his utmost effort in finding out whether the guide is fit to be a Shaykh or not. Most seekers were misguided and perished in this area (f: by following would-be guides); rather, most of humanity has been led astray and perished by following misguided leaders. The proper way, then, is to carefully examine whether the spiritual guide is uprightly adhering to the Sacred Law (Shari`ah), the (f: principles of the) spiritual way (tariqa) and the higher realities (haqiqa). If he is an innovator, this can be known by what [learned] people say about him, and by the conduct of those who follow and love him without correcting him. If the seeker finds out that the scholars of the time are not critical of this spiritual guide, and that some scholars and notables, young or old, take him as a guide and turn to him in their search for the spiritual way and higher realities, then he will know that such a spiritual guide is worthy of being followed…” (Kashshaf Istilahat al-Funun, 1: 1050)]
The Importance of Good Character
Good character is an attribute of the Master of the Messengers, and the best of the works of the veracious (siddiqin), and is in reality half of religion, the fruits of the spiritual struggles of the god-fearing, and the efforts of the worshippers. Lowly character is a killing poison, a deadly destroyer, a humiliating abaser, clear lowliness, and filth that distances one from the sanctuary of the Lord of the worlds. It makes the one characterized by it of the Satans, and it is the open door to the burning fire of Allah, that “Leaps up over the hearts (of men),”(Qur’an, 104: 7) as good character is the open door to the bounties of the Gardens and proximity to the Merciful. Lowly character is a sickness of the heart and a disease of the lower self. It is a sickness that endangers the ever-lasting life. Thus, it is necessary to pay utmost attention to it, even more than outward sickness.
Character traits are attributes of the self by which it leans to one of either beauty or ugliness. Complete outward beauty is not possible through the beauty of the eyes alone, without the nose, mouth, and cheeks; rather, it is necessary that all these be beautiful. Similarly, inward beauty needs four essential elements for good character to be complete through an appropriate balance and temperance of these elements. These elements are knowledge, anger, passion, and justice between the other three elements.
Knowledge
As for the attribute of knowledge, its good and uprightness lies in its ability to comprehend the difference between truthfulness and lying in speech, between truth and falsehood in belief, between the good and evil in actions. If this attribute of knowledge is made upright, then its fruits are wisdom, which is at the root of good character. Allah said of wisdom, “And he unto whom wisdom is given, he truly has received abundant good” (Qur’an, 2: 269), and it is what the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) meant by deep understanding (fiqh) when he said, “Whoever Allah wishes well for, He gives deep understanding (fiqh) of religion.”[Bukhari & Muslim]
Anger
As for the attribute of anger, its good lies in its suppression and expression being according to the dictates of wisdom.
Likewise, the good and uprightness of passion lies in its being under the indications of wisdom; that is, the indications of the intellect and Sacred Law.