Stefan looked up from his papers the moment she walked in, much to her surprise. He removed his reading glasses and stared at her quizzically. He pointed her to a seat but she declined.
"Is something the matter?" he asked her politely.
"You tell me, you asked to see me."
"You?" Stefan shook his head uncomprehendingly then it dawned on him. "I wanted to see Alan," he said thoughtfully "and I assumed since he was the only dr. Quartermaine on shift this morning…" his voice trailed off. He felt a heat rise in him as he stared with horror at the calendar. Monica caught his expression of utter dread and felt an involuntary pang of sympathy. It would be embarrassing for anyone to get the days wrong, it was practically unthinkable for Stefan Cassadine. She tactfully stared away until he had put back on his usual neutral expression.
"Perhaps you could discuss with me whatever it is you wanted to see Alan for," she offered.
Stefan nodded. "It's about dr. Schwarz."
"What about him?"
"I want Alan or you to talk to him."
"What about? You know we both believe that Brian is an asset to this hospital."
"I know that and I trust your professional judgment. I'd just rather he didn't go around the hospital on… what are these things called?"
"Roller-blades," Monica said. "And it was only once. He wanted to cheer up that boy."
Stefan brought his hands together. "That's why I want you or Alan to speak to him. He looks up to you."
Monica nearly laughed at his earnest expression which looked foreign to her on his face. She smiled faintly.
"He gets a rise out of ignoring you when you tell him off…"
"But he'll listen to you and Alan. You know… roller-blades are not the only problem I have with his behavior. I don't want to have to dismiss him. It would be a decision neither wise or popular."
He seems almost humble, thought Monica. She'd never dreamt she'd ever associate that particular adjective with Stefan Cassadine. "I'll talk to Brian. I'm sure he'll try to conform more to your doctor's image."
"Thank you dr. Quartermaine," Stefan said formally, ignoring her little barb.
He slipped his reading glasses back on and looked back at his papers signaling that he didn't need her any further.
Monica made no move to leave. Stefan gave her a curious glance over his reading glasses. She sidestepped a sudden thought of how on Earth reading glasses could look so sexy on a man.
She coughed slightly. "Actually, I wanted to see you about something today…" she began.
Stefan removed his glasses and set them on the desk,
"I'm listening," he said neutrally.
"We were wondering… actually it was Emily's idea…" she paused and took a big breath. "I've been sorting out Chloe's things and Emily thought I should ask you whether you'd want something perhaps… As a memento." Monica stopped abruptly. Stefan kept a stony expression on his face but she saw his mouth twitch.
"I believe you were there," he said slowly, "when Chloe herself…"
flashback
She could still speak, though with difficulty. From what Monica knew it was the last time she'd spoken coherently.
"Stefan?" her unseeing blue eyes were filled with worry.
"I'm here."
She fumbled at the nape of her neck and managed to remove the cross she had been wearing. She held it up.
"I want you to take this, to remember me by," she said with difficulty.
Stefan made no move to take it from her hand.
"Don't talk like that, Chloe," he whispered.
She still held it up. "Please," she said anxiously.
Stefan's hand closed on the cold metal and her equally cold fingers.
"Keep it," he said thickly. "To guard you."
He noticed for the first time the silver cross she'd always worn under her clothes. All four arms were of equal length. It was like a plus sign and it reminded him strongly of Byzantine style Russian and Greek orthodox crosses the Cassadines had possessed. Ironically religious artifacts came aplenty in his murderous family.
"Let me," he said and gently clasped the chain behind her neck again. His lips brushed on her cheek before he sat back on his chair, holding her hand.
Monica was torn between staring at the scene and giving Stefan some privacy. She felt a lump on her throat seeing how tender he was with Chloe, how he calmed her whispering to her softly.
End flashback
Monica breathed deeply as she came back to the present.
"You never did take that cross, did you?" she asked quietly.
"No, and I don't want anything," Stefan said brusquely. "Tell your daughter I appreciate the thought," he added in a gentler tone.
Monica was speechless, faced with the vulnerability she saw in his eyes. Perhaps Chloe truly had changed him. Perhaps he'd been in love with her for real and it hadn't all been a show or an expression of his guilt. She tried to conjure up the anger she felt at him and his psychotic family whenever she thought of Chloe dead just as her life was really beginning. But all she felt was sadness, sadness for Chloe and - surprisingly - for the man sitting in front of her.
"You knew I wouldn't accept anything, didn't you?" Stefan said quietly.
"I guessed you wouldn't."
"Then why did you ask?" Would it amuse you? Where you curious like everyone else in this hospital? What will happen if I mention Chloe? What will his reaction be?
Monica sighed. "I promised Emily. It's that simple." She smiled bitterly. "I used to object to that crush she had on Nikolas… if I'd only known…" she stopped herself. Her daughter's attachment to Zander Smith was a sore spot with her and she nearly forgot whom she was talking to.
The ghost of a smile played on Stefan's lips at her embarrassed expression. "Katherine Bell wasn't my first choice for Nikolas," he said simply.
Monica laughed. Stefan Cassadine was the last person she'd expect to ever sympathize with her but the man had a point. "At least in your family, murder was an option," she said half-seriously.
Stefan tensed. Murder. His mother's murders… His own. At least he felt remorse but that didn't count for much. Chloe was dead and he was alive and well, jesting with a member of her family. If Monica only knew…
Monica stared at the frozen mask that Stefan's face had become, regretting her choice of words. The absurdity of the situation hit her. I'm afraid I might have hurt Stefan's feelings, she thought. Somebody page me, I have to get out of here before I offer him my shoulder to cry on.
It was gone. Whatever there had been between them for a few minutes was now gone.
"Do you think Alexis might want something?"
Stefan remained perfectly still. Not even blinking. It unsettled Monica.
"You'll have to ask her," he said neutrally.
Monica shrugged. "I don't see her anymore. Not after what happened with Ned."
Stefan fixed an expression of mild curiosity on his face that didn't fool her for a second.
"You know about it. And you know that it was the worst thing she could have done. Especially now."
He set his jaw. "I do not wish to discuss my sister's choices."
Monica snorted. "I guess you didn't have a problem with the breakup. But shouldn't you be more concerned about what's best for her?"
"Are you implying that your family was waiting for her with open arms? Especially considering her decision to defend young Mr. Smith?"
Monica looked away. "She's alone now, is that better? At least Ned loves her."
Stefan drew in a sharp breath. Alone. There was so much pain in that word. He swallowed hard trying not to show that Monica's words had affected him. It was ridiculous since Ashton couldn't be more wrong for Alexis and yet he wished for a moment she would make up with him, marry him, have children. Be normal. It was her chance to escape her family's curse. Stefan would let her succeed this time. He would not try to draw her back in like he had before, he would not appeal to her loyalty and her childish love. But Alexis had left Ned, she'd rejected the way out he had offered her.
"Your… nephew's liaison to my sister does not concern me," he said slowly. "Now, unless you want to discuss anything pertaining to hospital business…"
Monica sighed. "I won't take up any more of your precious time," she murmured and turned to leave.
Stefan stared absent-mindedly at the door she'd closed behind her with more force than was necessary. It was a while before he managed to go back to his paperwork.
It was already dark when Stefan got back to Wydenmere. He stared at the table Mrs. Lansbury had set for him. Alone again. Nikolas' initial enthusiasm had faded. He hadn't seen him in a while.
Mrs. Lansbury stared at him discreetly. He dismissed her curtly. She knew what came next. Inordinate amounts of wine consumed away from her prim disapproval. To chase the demons away she supposed. Without success. She shuddered at the memory of his blood-curdling scream that had woken her up in the middle of the night. She hadn't made the mistake of going to his room to check on him up like she had the first night he'd slept at Wydenmere after Chloe's death. Nikolas hadn't heard a thing but she slept a lot more lightly. Stefan had yelled at her to leave him alone. She'd learnt to sleep through his moans, his litanies of "I'm sorry", his cries of anguish.
Alexis lay on her couch staring at the ceiling. In the kitchen the table was set but the food lay untouched. She'd objected at first but Leticia had her orders and wouldn't budge. However, Sonny was out of the country and couldn't force her to eat that afternoon.
Another long day. She'd been drawing up all the paperwork for Deception and it wasn't a very easy task. Baldwin had insisted on representing Laura since he wanted to make sure Sonny wouldn't scam her. The notion was of course utterly ridiculous but Alexis had let him interfere as much as he wanted, she didn't have the strength to argue with him. Lack of sleep was making her feel as though she was in a rocking boat and her reflexes were slow, so slow that it was only due to an impossibly handsome young man who had pulled her out of the way of an impossibly beautiful Jaguar that she had lived to see Baldwin, joust in hand, protecting his blond object of desire.
Flickering light from the living room informed Mrs. Lansbury that the 8mm film of Alexis at her graduation party was playing that afternoon as it had the two previous that Stefan had spent alone. She didn't have to sneak a peak to know that Stefan was staring blankly at the trembling images sipping his drink slowly and sometimes brushing an errant tear.
A grief-stricken Stefan was a well-known sight to her. She'd seen him grieve for Laura, for Alexis when she betrayed him, for Katherine then for Laura again. But now she guessed his guilt was making the pain unbearable to the point that she truly feared for his sanity. She wondered what had happened on the island between Master Stefan and the pale blonde he had kidnapped. She'd learnt young, working for Mikkos Cassadine long before he married the Whore, that Cassadine actions were not to be questioned or talked about. So when the police had questioned her about Stefan's death, about what Chloe was doing on the island and whether she thought Helena was behind it all she'd been most unhelpful. As she ought to.
Alexis raised her head at the sound of the phone ringing. She stared at it until her simple message started playing.
"Alexis?" His rich voice made her heartbeat race. "Please… if you're there please pick it up."
"Stefan," she whispered as though he could hear her.
"I need you," his voice was choked. "I need you to be by my side again. I don't deserve your forgiveness but… I don't think I can live without it. You… are… were… the only creature on this planet who loved me even though you knew everything about me. I feel like a part of me is missing and every day it just gets worse," his voice broke.
Alexis braced herself taking a step closer to the sound of his voice, tears running freely down her cheeks. "Don't do this to me," she whispered.
"You're stronger than me. You've always been. And even though you like to say I protected you when we were children the truth is you were the one that saved me, I had been drawing from your strength and I was too stupid and selfish to admit it. I'm a coward. I should be there now telling you these things face to face but I couldn't do it…"
Stefan went on talking his voice echoing in the empty room as Alexis closed her front door behind her.
She walked briskly in the cold night feeling strongly the absence of a coat. The fine rain that was falling was going through her black woolen dress. The cold wind stung her wet face drying a few tears that others soon replaced. She walked purposelessly just to be away from Stefan's voice. But she soon realized where her steps had taken her. The club was closed. She'd heard something about a fight that had taken place there the night before so it hadn't opened tonight. Small loss. It wasn't like the place was making any money as Baldwin had gleefully told Laura in her presence. A faint light showed that someone, probably the person her steps had led her to, was inside. She knocked lightly on the door after an initial hesitation.
Luke added up the figures in the sheet before him for the third time hoping for a different outcome. He sipped his scotch from time to time and scratched his head with his pencil cursing under his breath. It wasn't easy to accept that he wouldn't be able to give Laura any money for Lesley Lu. As for Lucky… he wouldn't accept any money from him anyway. He was already on his third scotch but it hadn't done much to blunt the pain and take away the bitter taste of failure from his mouth.
He looked up suddenly. He was sure he'd heard something. He stood still for a second listening attentively and heard the light knock on his front door again. He sighed deeply, his efforts to convince Felicia he was just fine had exhausted him. He couldn't deal with her, the last thing in the world that he wanted to do was to hurt her, she didn't deserve it, but he couldn’t pretend for much longer.
He walked to the front door cursing as he stepped on broken glass and sticky pools of beer. "One afternoon, one lousy evening, was it too much to ask," he grumbled.
"Alexis?" He stared at her confused for a few seconds then stepped back to let her in.
"Come in, it's freezing outside," he murmured.
Alexis walked in quickly taking in with a glance the battlefield that Luke's had become.
"Come at the back, I've turned on the heating."
Alexis followed him docilely surprised at his attentiveness. She clenched her jaws firmly to keep her teeth from clattering.
"What brings you here, Natasha?" Luke asked her after he'd sat her down next to the radiator.
She stared at him harshly. "What do you think?"
"My club, I ask the questions."
She gave out a short, hysterical laugh. "I came back for more."
Luke took in her appearance, her wet hair clung to her face on which the rain had left only a few traces of makeup. Her kneelong, black dress complimented her figure. He licked on his lips unconsciously as he felt her sneaky sex appeal.
"I'm not in the mood for games," he said curtly.
She stood up slowly. "You wouldn't be up for the task?" she said arching an eyebrow.
He took a step back from her. "How much have you had to drink?"
"Not a drop. Nothing! You on the other hand…" She scooted to his desk and picked up his half-finished drink, then her attention turned to his papers. "Facts and figures, perhaps I could help you," she said, casually picking up a sheet.
Luke caught her wrist. "Let go of that."
Alexis put the sheet down and locked her gaze with his. Luke loosened his grip then removed his hand.
"I'll call you a cab," he murmured.
Alexis was too quick for him. She put her hand on the receiver. "No."
Luke tried to get a hold of the phone behind her, shivering as he came in contact with her wet clothes. But it was more than the cold he felt. She looked back at him, her clearly defined profile burned in his mind forever. Luke's mouth went dry.
"You don't want this," he whispered. "The other night was a mistake."
He instinctively pulled back, bumping gently against the wall behind him as Alexis let their bodies touch through their clothes again. She got a hold of his hand and brought it to her face. Luke felt her hot breath on his palm as she spoke.
"You don't know what I want, what I need," she said in a low but clear voice. "You want it too," she added, backing against the hard evidence of his lust for her.
"Be careful what you ask for," Luke growled in her ear then made her bend on the desk. A far corner of his brain registered the phone crashing on the floor and his papers scattering everywhere. He raised impatiently the black jersey to expose the roundness it stretched on. Alexis turned her head again and kissed him hard enough to draw blood. He wasn't sure who's lips had bled as he gave himself to that kiss, at the same time roughly getting rid of the clothes that stood between them.
