Chapter 42
She slowly made her way up to the door. She was so tired and didn't feel like doing anything but relaxing. She knocked on the door and a few seconds later it swung open.
"Hi Keyana, come on in." Nick smiled, stepping aside to let her in. "You look beat honey."
"Yeah, I am."
Nick took her coat and then lead her over to the couch. "So how was your day?"
"Tiring, wasn't all there today. Be glad we didn't have an appointment cause I wouldn't have been much help."
"Aww sweetie. Come here and I'll give you a massage."
Keyana moved over and allowed Nick to start rubbing her shoulders.
"So tell me, why were you so upset this afternoon?" Nick questioned.
Her heart tightened just thinking about it. "I-I broke up with Shane last night." She whispered. She felt Nick's hands stop rubbing.
"You did?"
"Yeah, I had to."
"Oh Keyana, I'm sorry baby. I am."
She turned to look at him, a sad expression on his face. "I couldn't be with him knowing what I'd done."
Nick looked away. "Look Keyana, about what happened..."
"No wait Nick, let me."
He nodded.
"I won't lie and say that I didn't want what happened to happen. It's just that, I was seeing someone, and it shouldn't have happened. Everything we've done shouldn't have happened. It's my fault for never stopping you, although every time you did. Well almost every time."
Nick looked away, why was she saying this? If she knew the truth, she wouldn't be. "Keyana..."
"Let me finish. I did the right thing breaking up with Shane, he deserves better than me." She went on.
This was wrong, very wrong. She wouldn't have done or said any of that if he hadn't seduced her. He had to do something. "Keyana, please let me just..."
"No, I don't wanna talk about it. Let's just relax alright."
Nick looked down and the over at her. "Yeah sure." He flipped the tv on and they watched. Not much was said for a while and Nick finally looked over to see the tears streaming down Keyana's face.
He felt like hell, it was never his intention to have her break up with Shane. Then again, after what'd happen, he couldn't very well expect her to go on with him like nothing had happened. He reached out and took her hand. "Come here." She moved over next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry about everything." He murmured, rubbing her arm gently.
She sniffled. "Y-yeah, maybe it's better this way. I mean, if I can't be in a monogamous relationship, then I shouldn't be in one at all." That's what she told herself, but she couldn't help thinking, that if she'd been with Nick, would this whole thing had ever happened?
"O-oh."
"Yeah, it's not like you knew I had a boyfriend from the beginning you know. I should've, I dunno. I guess I thought I was strong enough to deal with anything. I mean, we were so happy. I'm thinking maybe it wasn't really love in the first place, not on my part anyway."
Guilt was spreading quickly. They were happy, he'd seen them in the restaurant. He could tell they were in love. "Come on Keyana, I know you loved him and still do. I remember when I saw you two in the restaurant, when you kissed him. You loved him I could tell, and I knew then that I had to meet you, too..."
"What?!" She interrupted him.
Nick closed his eyes as he realized what he'd just said. What'd he done?
"What did you say?"
"I said I'm sure you still love him."
"No, after that. You said when you saw us in the restaurant. When did you see us in the restaurant? What restaurant?" She asked.
"It was Dominicks. I, It was right before I..."
"Right before you what?"
"Right before I came in to meet with you about being my decorator." Nick whispered, looking away.
She stared at him, it couldn't be. He wasn't telling her this. She felt the blood drain from her face as the realization hit her. "You, you knew about Shane and me the whole time? You knew?" She watched as Nick brought his gaze back to her, guilt written all over his face.
"I'm sorry Keyana, I'm so sorry."
"I, I trusted you. I trusted you and this whole time you did everything on purpose. Oh God!" She stood, backing away from him.
He could see the hurt and anger in her face. "Keyana wait, let me explain."
Tell me what's been going on
How did our love go so wrong
Cause I know that I made some mistakes
Oh baby
And girl it's written on your face
That you wanna walk away
And you say that your feelings have changed
"Explain what?! That you used me! You sick bastard! You seduced me knowing that I was seeing someone! How could you!?"
"I didn't mean to hurt you! Keyana, I felt something in that moment that I saw you, I knew I had to meet you, to be a part of your life. Please understand what I'm saying."
"You did all this to get to me, to make me break up with Shane! You made me feel things, things I shouldn't have been feeling because of you."
He could see the longing, the denial she was now going through. It was then he realized that she'd come to care for him, but now she was shutting those feelings out. Trying to stop them.
I know you still need me
I can see it in your eyes
You're afraid of your feelings
But girl you have to realize
"It was never my intention to make you break up with Shane, you have to believe that."
"Then what? What did you plan on doing then huh? You fucked with my emotions, calling me and sending me roses, why? To be my friend?"
"Yes."
"Fuck you you asshole! Don't you dare use that excuse!" She screamed. "Friends don't use their friends for their sexual gratification!"
"I didn't use you for my sexual gratification. I gave you sexual gratification." He whispered.
She looked away from him. He'd done things that Shane would never dream of doing, things that made her feel special. She looked up at him, his eyes pleading with her to understand. No, she wouldn't let him take advantage of her anymore.
"Everything was going so well with us Keyana, we were friends. I'm not sorry about what happened with us that night, but I know it was wrong and for that, I'm sorry."
You know that I've tried a thousand times
To win your love, but it's never enough
It's been like a dream for you and me
And girl can't you see
That I'm not giving up I'm never giving up
"You're sorry, bullshit! Sorry doesn't make up for the fact that you used me. Everything you did was a lie." She spat coldly. She didn't know what hurt her more, the fact that he'd lied, or the fact that she was starting to care for him and that he was everything that he wanted and she couldn't be with him. She blinked back the tears that would not be stopped.
"I didn't lie, you never asked me if I knew you had a boyfriend."
"You were looking for a decorator! I don't ask my male clients if they know if I have a boyfriend to make it easier to seduce me!"
"Keyana, just give me one more chance. Another chance to be your friend."
"You've got to be shittin' me!" She looked at him amazed.
"Please, we were close. I know you liked it just as much as I did. I know I hurt you, it's in your eyes. But please, just don't...don't give up on this."
"This what? We don't have anything! I can't believe I let you do this to me, let you effect me like this! I broke up with a great guy because of you!" She started towards the door, the tears falling freely now.
"Keyana! Wait!" Nick called after her, grabbing her gently by the arm.
"No! Let go!"
"You won't find what you're looking for anywhere else, I'm right here."
"Oh God! You're that fuckin' conceited to think that I want you!"
"I know I've gotten to you Keyana, just like you've gotten to me. I'll be waiting for you. I'm not gonna give up Keyana." He whispered.
All I need is one more chance
Don't give up on this romance
I'm the one that's got just what it takes
So don't go wasting all your time
A love like this is hard to find
I'm right here and I swear I'll be waiting
Deep down you're hurting
I can see it in your eyes
I know you still want me
But you have to realize
"I hate you, I fuckin' hate you you son of a bitch. Never talk to me again. I want nothing more to do you with you. You make me sick, stay the hell away from me." She spat coldly, tears falling silently down her face. She threw the door open and stormed out.
Nick watched her leave, leaning his head against the door as a lone tear fell. He'd lost her, and he'd do everything in his power to get her back. He'd never give up.
You know that I've tried a thousand times
To win your love, but it's never enough
It's been like a dream for you and me
And girl can't you see
That I'm not giving up
I'm never giving up
Never Giving Up-By 98
