Chapter 43
He could feel the trembling in her body starting to lessen as he rubbed his hand up and down her back gently.
"Nick?"
"Mmm?"
"Can...can we go lie down? I just...just don't feel up do doing much anymore."
"Of course sweetie." Nick pulled away and lifted her into his arms, starting up the stairs.
"Nick, I can walk ya know, I'm alright."
"I don't think so, you looked like you were gonna pass out a few minutes ago."
"That was before."
"Oh well, deal, I'm not putting you down."
She didn't have the energy to argue which is why she let Nick take her into his room and set her down carefully on the bed before sliding in beside her and pulling her up against him.
"Nyla? How ya doing honey? You alright?"
She couldn't think, her brain wasn't working right, everything was jumbled. "I'm ok, ya know what? Grams really liked you, she did and she never liked my boyfriends, but there was something about you that she just loved."
Nick smiled sadly, "Yeah?"
"Yeah, and she always wanted us to get back together, told me that I was crazy to let such a great catch get away." Nyla chuckled, biting her lip.
"I am a great catch ya know."
"Don't get cocky Carter." Nyla sniffled, smiling a bit.
"Who? Me?" Nick chuckled.
Nyla smiled weakly and looked down, she couldn't quite describe what she was feeling, couldn't verbalize it. "I miss her already." She whispered, that much she did know.
Nick frowned, "I know ya do baby, I know...it'll take some time, but it will get easier."
"I wasn't ready for all of this ya know? I always thought I'd have more time, I kept waiting to see her, putting it off for tomorrow but it never came and now she's gone and..." She stopped, she had to, it was too hard to go on.
"Aww Ny, don't do this to yourself, don't blame yourself. I'm sure Grams knew how it was, she knew how much you loved her and she loved you."
"I didn't tell her enough, I didn't...I should've called more...something."
"You did enough Nyla, believe me. You were a great Granddaughter and she loved you very much."
"If I was such a great Granddaughter, then I would've been there for her when she...she..." She wiped at the tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Shh shh...come on now, get some rest. No more talking about it."
She nodded, closing her eyes, snuggling in closer to him. Nick held her tightly as he watched her drift off, feeling strangely at peace. It was a familiar and yet foreign feeling at the same time. He couldn't count the number of times he'd held her while she slept or the number of times he'd held her as she cried.
This time was different though, from a different view, this time he wasn't playing boyfriend, just the supportive friend, the supportive ex-boyfriend. He supposed he should take what he could get, but he couldn't help the longing, the yearning for more.
He wanted to be her one and only, he wanted to hear that excitement he heard when she'd talked to Scott before leaving that day back in Florida. He wanted her to look at him the way she used to, that look of love and adoration and he wanted to look at her like that again. He didn't know if he'd get that chance ever again.
It was far too late for him now, he knew it. Everything, all those feelings came rushing back the moment he'd held her in his arms while she cried, the moment he felt the tears wet his shirt as she clutched at him, looking for somewhere to go to get away from the pain. They were all back and he was helpless to stop them.
Closing his eyes, Nick drifted off a short time later.
