Chapter 18
She pressed the 'enter' button and waited for the document to save. Standing up, she put the file back and pulled three others. Today had been relatively slow, which was good because she was able to catch up on some work she had to do. Sitting back down, she brought up another screen and started typing the information in. She was stopped a few minutes later when a client came in. After taking care of her, she went back to her work. She'd been real antsy lately. Work seemed to drag by, she found herself anxious to get home and see if Nick called or if he would call.
The hours went by and more clients came and left. She was heavily involved in one file, when there was a knock on the window, she looked up.
"Hi."
"Vanessa, hey there." She smiled and put her pencil down. "What are you doing here?"
"Just thought I'd drop by to see how you were and all. The last time we met we sorta left things kinda bad and all."
"Yeah, I know."
"I just wanted to drop by and see..."
Illana's eyes widened, her gaze resting just behind Illana.
"What?" Vanessa asked, turning to follow Illana's gaze.
"Hello Vanessa."
"Hi Nick."
He came up and stood next to her. Illana watched as the two of them looked at each other.
"Long time no see. How are you?"
"I'm good. You?"
"I'm surviving."
"Oh."
To watch them was painful. She didn't know what to say, and it reminded her of just how out of place she was. "I'll be right back." She stood and headed into the next room, peeking out to watch the two.
"So, how's your family?" He asked. He could at least be cordial.
"They're fine. Yours?"
"Good, they're good."
"Good."
He sighed heavily, this was impossible. Illana, his only ally, left him to fend for himself. He looked over and saw her peeking out from a room and shook his head. A few moments later, she came back.
"Sorry bout that, I had to do something."
"Well Illana I'm gonna go. Just wanted to drop by. Call me later ok?"
"Ok."
"Bye Illana. Nick."
"Bye Vanessa." Nick replied softly.
She gave a small nod and headed out. Illana watched Nick as he watched her leave; a deep sigh escaped him. "I'm sorry bout that. I didn't know she was going to stop by."
Nick turned to her. "It's ok, not your fault. I would've had to see her sooner or later."
"Yeah I know but still. Sorry."
"It's ok Lana, really. You had no way of knowing, I mean, I just dropped by too."
She studied him, that sadness was in his eyes again. She had to do something. "Look Nick, why don't you stop by this evening. I'll rent some videos and we'll just relax. Maybe it'll help take your mind off things."
His lips formed a small smile. "I'd like that."
"Great. So I'll see you about...six? Is that ok?"
"Sure. Will that give you enough time after you get home?"
"Oh yeah, plenty."
"Alright, I'll see you then."
"Ok, bye."
"Bye." He smiled sadly and headed out the office.
Illana sighed. That must've been rough on them. She could see the pain in their faces, and yet neither one wanted to show it. They were cordial to the point that it was just too much. She shook her head and went back to work. ************************************************************************
She set the chips and video's on the table and brought a few blankets down. Walking into the kitchen, she grabbed two glassed and filled them with ice before bringing them out and setting them on the table also.
She didn't know why she felt so bad for what'd happened at her job today with Nick. She didn't know that Vanessa would show up, hell she wasn't expecting him to show up either. Yet she felt it her responsibility and her fault. She sat down heavily on the couch. She wondered what would happen with Nick and Vanessa. Would they ever work their differences out and get back together? The thought scared her in a way she couldn't describe. If it did happen, things would be different for her. She could never really look at Nick the same way.
At about five minutes after six, there was a knock at her door. Standing up, she went over to open it. "You're late." She grinned.
"Sue me!"
"I might just!" She laughed as he stepped in, taking his coat off and putting it on the couch. "Have a seat."
He walked over and sat on the couch and she sat next to him.
"So how you doing?"
"I'm ok."
"Sure?"
"Positive."
"Ok, if you say so."
He smiled and looked over at the table. "Look at that, you have it all set up here."
"Yup, the essentials. Chips, pop, blankets, movies."
"What movies did you get?" She told him the titles and had him pick one.
"You've got it all don't ya?"
"Yes I do!"
"Let's get started then."
She smiled and put the first video in. Curling up on the couch on the opposite side, they watched, occasionally taking a sip of their drinks or eating some chips.
A short time later, her mind started to wander to the man sitting next to her. She could smell his cologne, feel the heat radiating from his body. She watched him from the corner of her eye, watched him look at the screen. She brought her hand up and rested it on her leg, propping her head up.
What was it about him that made her just want to hold him all the time? She looked away from the screen, staring at him thoughtfully. Suddenly, Nick turned his head, looking right into her eyes.
Electricity Eye to eye
Hey don't I know you?
I can't speak
Stripped my senses
On the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word
"Lana?...Lana?"
He was talking to her. She shook her head, she'd seen his lips moving, but she couldn't seem to hear him. "Sorry."
"Is everything ok?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, fine."
"Are you cold?"
Suddenly she was. Wrapping her arms around herself, she rubbed her arms. "Nah, I'm alright."
Nick gave her a look and rolled his eyes. "C'mere." He whispered, grabbing one of the blankets and wrapping it around himself and holding the other end open for her like before. Slowly she slid over and he drew the blanket around her and pulled her closer to him before dropping his arm from around her.
"Better?"
"Oh yeah."
"Good." He smiled, turning back to the TV. He could feel her looking at him, it'd taken everything he had in him to turn from her just then, and having her this close was driving him crazy. He closed his eyes briefly, and wondered what it'd be like. Just a taste, just one taste of her.
She tried to watch the movie, but she couldn't. He was right there, so close and she couldn't concentrate on anything but him. She closed her eyes and wondered what it'd be like to have his lips on hers. What he'd taste like. Quickly she opened her eyes, biting her lip, trying to stop the pictures floating around in her head.
What would happen if we kissed?
Would your tongue slip past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth
Lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
It was becoming too much; she shifted slightly, trying to put some distance between them. She turned slightly, bringing her legs up under her. She was tense, restless, like she was gonna jump out her skin. Suddenly she felt his hand brush over hers lightly, and she looked up at him. He looked like he was trying hard to focus on the TV, pretending he hadn't noticed. Her head was swimming and so was the room.
The room is spinning
Out of control
You act like you didn't notice
Brushed my hand
Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
You're such a moral moral man
Would you throw it away, no question?
Will I pretend I'm innocent?
"Lana? You ok? You look all flushed honey." Nick commented, frowning. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him.
"I'm...fine. I mean it, really." Slowly she looked up into his eyes, licking her lips. She saw Nick's gaze dart to her mouth, watching her intensely. She drew a shaky breath in as his eyes met hers once again.
"Lana..."
She couldn't think, she didn't want to think about how it couldn't happen. Not this time. She wouldn't think about how in a way, he was still off limits. Not right now, not now. Not when he was this close.
He could feel her trembling, see the repressed desire in her eyes. He knew it shadowed his. No turning back.
What would happen if we kissed?
Would your tongue slip past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth
Lust to lust
Spontaneously combust...
What would happen if we kissed?
Still there was something nagging at her. It would be wrong, and she knew it. She felt his arm pull her closer still, moving down to her waist and turning her around. Those walls she'd been putting up, slowly starting to crumble. His hand moved up to caress her cheek gently, softly. She tried to calm her breathing, to stop her heart from racing. The look in his eyes was that of pure longing, and wanting. The same as she, and she was helpless to stop what was inevitable. She couldn't turn away, and she didn't want to.
He couldn't wait any longer as he tilted her head up with the hand that still rested on her cheek, and slowly lowered his mouth to hers.
I struggle with myself again
Quickly the walls are crumblin'
Don't know if I can turn away
His lips touched hers gently, tentatively at first, exploring as her eyes fluttered shut. Slowly he deepened the kiss, pulling her onto his lap. She brought her hands up to rest on his chest as she pulled away. She looked into his eyes, it wasn't enough. It'd never be enough. Suddenly his lips were on hers again, his kiss more intense, more fierce. His tongue slipped past her lips, invading her mouth and taking her completely, finally. She moaned against the feeling, the sensation, the taste of him.
She brought her hands up and cupped his face. Their tongues dueled, and still she wasn't close enough as she turned, spreading her legs apart so that she straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He drank her in. She tasted so good, he knew that she would. He ran his hands over her back, pressing her closer to him. In all his dreams or fantasies, he never knew it could be like this, feel this good. He could feel her pressing against him; his body reacted immediately, the heat coursing through him. Still, he wanted more, so much more. He could feel himself melting into her and her into him. Just like he'd told her that night.
What would happen if we kissed?
Would your tongue slip past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you Mouth to mouth
If we kissed...
Would your tongue slip past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth
If we kissed...
If we kissed...
She had to stop this, she had to. She pushed away from them, their breathing labored. "Nick..." She panted, resting her head on his shoulder.
He hugged her to him, his head falling back. He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't know what to do.
"Nick, I, I think..."
"Yeah, I know."
She took another shaky breath in. She didn't want him to leave though, deep down she wanted him to stay, even though she knew he couldn't. She felt him tighten his hold on her, and she wrapped her arms around his body, hugging him tighter. If only they could stay like this, if only things were different. Slowly she slid a way from him, and back onto the couch, her whole body still weak and trembling.
Nick removed the blanket from around him and cleared his throat. "I'm just gonna take off."
"O-ok."
"Thanks for everything."
"No problem, it was my pleasure."
"Lana..."
Slowly she lifted her eyes to him, the aching and desire he had for her displayed shamelessly over his face. She felt her breath catch as he smiled at her. Her eyes widened as he leaned over, and gently kissed her cheek.
"Goodnight." He whispered. With one last caress of her cheek, he was gone.
She sat there for a minute, the rush emotions taking her over as a single tear made it's way down her cheek. What did she do now? Quickly she made her way up to her room.
