Chapter 20
He looked down at the papers on the table and frowned. He hated writers' block; he'd get into a zone and then BAM! Groaning, he jotted a few more notes down before tossing his pencil on the table. It wasn't usually this difficult, but he found he had other things on his mind, like Illana Cabrini's lips. Leaning back on the couch he smiled.
He'd replayed the kisses over and over again in his mind. He'd never forget the way she felt, or tasted. She was tentative and ready and she'd wanted that to happen just as badly as he had. His mind drifted back to their phone conversation a few nights before and he shifted on the couch. It had only seemed to heighten their experience. Even though he hadn't actually been with her that night on the phone, but he felt as if he knew every inch of her body. The way her arms felt around him, the warmth of her skin against his, the feel of her body as he'd...He rubbed fiercely at his eyes.
He'd had enough work for tonight. Gathering his papers and folders, he brought them into his office and started back down the stairs, en route to the kitchen when the buzzer went off. Backtracking, he jogged over, pressing the button. "Hello?"
"Hi Nick."
His eyes widened. "Lana! Hi! Hold up, let me open the gates." He pressed another button for the gate. A few minutes later, there was a knock at his door. Reaching over he turned the knob.
"Hi Nick." She smiled.
"Hi! Oh, sorry. Come on in." He stepped aside and closed the door behind her. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" He smiled.
"Just thought I'd drop by to chat with you." She murmured.
"That's cool, can I get you anything? Something to drink maybe?"
"No thanks, I won't be too long."
Nick stared at her, something wasn't right. "Ok, why don't you have a seat."
She nodded, walking over and sitting on his couch. Nick followed, sitting next to her. "So, um, what is it you wanted to say?"
She turned and looked at him. "I think, I think we've been spending too much time together. Everything that's happened lately has been, well it's been sort of a distraction to you. You should be thinking about working on your relationship with Vanessa. This whole thing with us being friends isn't helping."
"Whoa wait a minute, where's this coming from all of a sudden?"
She didn't know, she honestly didn't. After hearing what Vanessa had just said, she was absolutely furious. She didn't feel this way, but how else was she supposed to handle things? She looked away. "It's not all of a sudden Nick. You know I've always felt that the break could be a good thing, to help you and Vanessa to sort out how you both felt."
Nick studied her. Something just wasn't right here. "Did Vanessa talk to you?"
Her gaze flew to him. "What?"
"Did you see Vanessa or talk to her or something? I mean, that has to be it."
"Has to be what Nick? Nothing's changed."
"Yes it has, you're saying all the time we've spent together is wrong."
"I didn't say wrong, distracting. I haven't been helping you to figure things out Nick and last night and that phone conversation..." She trailed off shaking her head. "It just complicates things."
He sighed heavily, rubbing at his head. She just didn't understand how much she'd been helping him. "Lana, please." He took her hands in his. "You've helped me more than you know. I mean I could hang out with the guys and all, and I do. But you...you're different."
"I'm no different than anyone else Nick. Let me ask you this, what were some of the good things Vanessa did for you?"
His eyes widened. "Huh?"
"Good things, what good things did she do for you?"
He was totally thrown. "Well, she...she..." He couldn't think of anything.
Illana frowned. "Anything?"
Nick bit his lip in concentration, there had to be something. Suddenly his face lit up. "Church."
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Church?"
"Yeah, she took me to church one time. You know, it's hard cause I travel so much to go to church and I'm not overly religious. Well one time, when I'd just gotten back from a tour, she invited me to go with her family to church. It was really nice ya know. Something I'll always remember." He whispered.
Illana smiled. "Now focus on that. Remember the small little things and really think about what you want out of the relationship. I have to go."
Nick looked up her. "Go?"
"Yeah, work in the morning. Think about what I said." She had to get away, before he could see the truth in her eyes. She stood quickly and headed over to the door when she felt his arms slip around her waist, stopping her.
"Lana?" He whispered in her ear.
She closed her eyes; grateful he couldn't see her. "Hmm?"
"Thank you for spending time with me. I hope you'll continue to do so."
She took a breath and nodded. Who was she to deny him? Slipping out of his arms, she slid out the door without a backward glance. He watched from the window as she left. The whole thing was just weird. He grabbed the phone and dialed. He'd do it before he chickened out.
"Hello?"
"Hi."
"Nick, I...what..."
"I just thought I'd call to see how you were. It's been a while."
"Yes it has."
Silence.
"Vanessa? You there?"
"I'm here."
"Oh...ok."
More silence. This was stupid.
"Well I'm gonna let you go then. Just wanted to say hi."
"Ok. Bye."
"Bye." He pressed the button and set the phone on the charger. Nothing had changed, at least he tried. Rolling his eyes, he headed up to his room.
