Chapter 42
The silence in the room was thick. He was stunned, to the point that all he could do was look at her. He could feel Illana tense next to him, he wanted to reach out and hold her. He looked down; he didn't know what to say.
Her heart dropped, her hand to her mouth. She swore she was going to throw up. She didn't want to believe it, she didn't. She closed her eyes, the dizziness making her stomach turn. Why was it bothering her? Why did she care so much? This was what he'd wanted right? She lowered her head, what would he say?
"Vanessa, I..."
"Please Nick, I'm going to counseling, I'm gonna do better, I promise. I need a second chance, everyone deserves a second chance right? I told my parents I wouldn't let them control me anymore, that I can't listen to them and I have to make my own choices. Oh god...please." Vanessa whispered.
Illana looked up; the tears falling down Vanessa's cheeks tore at her heart. Her heart pounded suddenly, tears springing to her eyes. Vanessa took his hand in hers, looking into his eyes, pleading with him silently.
"Nick...please. I-I need you." She whimpered as Nick's fingers closed around hers.
That was it, she couldn't take anymore, she had to get out, she couldn't breathe. "Well, I'll just let you two discuss this privately. I'll talk to you soon Vanessa." She stood quickly and took off towards the door, flinging it open and running out.
She ran towards her car, she had to get away. She felt arms wrap around her waist, stopping her, as she tried to pull away.
"Lana...Lana stop...baby please." Nick whispered in her ear.
She came to a stop, slumping against him in defeat.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
She closed his eyes against his voice. She couldn't listen to him, listen to that voice. She didn't want to hear what he was going to tell her. Nick turned her around slowly, staring into her eyes, his smile gone, his words laced with fear.
I miss your smile, and your words
Where was I without you?
She pulled away from the comfort and the safety of his arms that she'd come to expect now. She missed him already. "Nick, what are you doing?"
My arms are empty and cold
How did I go on without you in them?
"Lana, let me explain"
She stared into his eyes, so full of pain and torment. "There's nothing to explain Nick. You know the truth now. You know that everything that happened wasn't your fault, it never was. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then you know what you have to do."
It wasn't fair, and it was wrong, so wrong what had to be done.
I miss your expressive eyes, the key to your soul
I didn't really see before
"What?" He asked confused.
"You have to go to her. You have to be there for her now." She felt her heart break at her words. It was the right thing to do.
"Lana..."
"She needs you now Nick, she needs your support."
"But Lana, what about us?" He looked at her helplessly.
She stared at him, at his lips. Lips that'd kissed her, lips that'd forever changed hers. "What about us Nick? There is no us, there never was and there never will be."
I miss your kiss, the warmth and softness
Your lips changed mine forever
He stared at her. "How can you say that?"
"We're friends Nick. I was there when you needed me, just like you have to be there for Vanessa. She needs you now."
"Lana..." He reached out towards her, and she stepped back.
"No." She whispered.
I miss your presence and all it ensues
I was all alone
He looked at her lost and suddenly felt alone. "Don't Lana, don't do this."
"You go to her Nick. You go to her and be everything that I was to you and more. Be her friend, her healer, her...lover." She bit her lip, not wanting to cry, she couldn't cry.
"I just don't understand."
She smiled weakly. "I'll always be your friend Nick, nothing will ever change that. But this is your chance, your chance to be with her again. You can make things right." She missed him so much, so much already.
I miss your love that completed me
I was only half before you
"You've tought me a lot Nick, about how to love and how to care about someone enough to wait for them. Do this for you."
"Lana, I need you...I need you...please." His eyes glossy, his face tense with emotion.
"Go to her Nick." She whispered, forcing a smile.
He shook his head, and she stepped up to him, caressing his cheek with her hand.
All that you are, all that you made me
I 'm who I am because of you
"Go to her." She murmured again, staring into his eyes, slowly pulling her hand away.
He stared at her for a moment, before slowly backing up. She took a shaky breath in.
"I will, for you...because I love you." He whispered before turning and walking back up towards the house, never once looking behind him. Vanessa was waiting at the door.
She blinked, not quite registering what he'd said. It couldn't be true. She turned and headed to her car, sliding into the seat. Shutting the door, she turned her head to watch as Nick approached Vanessa.
He took her hands in his. Illana bit her lip, the tears welling up in her eyes. Suddenly Vanessa brought her hands up to her face and then she looked at Nick, wrapping her arms around him, holding him tightly. Illana brought her hand to her mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that demanded to be released. Quickly she started the car and backed out, driving away as Nick and Vanessa headed back into her house.
I know now what I let go
I wish I could turn back time
'Cause I miss you
I Miss You - By Veronica
