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"I thought
school was ok. They didn't beat me up too much. I
could still walk home."
Eugene
Kelly is starting to waken up. When I first arrived at
the Copthorne Hotel in Glasgow's George Square half an
hour ago he seemed totally drained of energy. He'd
just endured a day-long session answering questions
about Nirvana (Eugene's old band The Vaselines are
favourites in the Cobain household) and the whole
Marvel comics thing (Eugenius were called Captain
America until the lawyers started getting involved).
The poor boy had nothing stronger than coffee and Hob
Nobs to sustain him through this marathon
interrogation and it showed. As SZS was last on his
list, it was obvious from the start that it would take
a lot of persuasion to get the king of Jock slackers
to start spilling his guts. However, the old STAR TEST
questions seem to finally be doing the trick.
"I've
actually got a real schizo memory of school. I
remember being a bully, and then I remember being
bullied. Maybe I was just in the corner beating myself
up".
Mr
Kelly's fellow guitarist, Gordon Keen - whom I already
know from his past life as Entertainments Convener at
the Student's Union in Galashiels - brushes the
biscuit crumbs from his jeans. "I don't keep in touch
with anybody I was at school with. I've kind of
blanked out most of that. I just can't remember...."
Eugene
chuckles quietly. "You were probably a glue-sniffer."
These
two West of Scotland lads have travelled far and wide
(both literally and metaphorically) since their early
days as Captain America. They've toured with Nirvana
(of course), Mudhoney and Lemon Heads ("A decent bunch
of guys")... played at the infamous CBGB club in New
York ("It's a really manky, dirty, smelly wee place...
but the sound system's amazing")... signed to August
records (Part of the Creation Pantheon of Pop) and set
up a home from home in Osaka where Gordon married "a
nice Japanese girl ... exactly eighteen months ago
today."
The
future looks jolly rosy for Eugenius. They've recorded
a proper album. It seems they're quite content for the
time-being. Their lank-haired gaffer seems happy where
he is. He has no great urge to look backwards... no
burning desire to return to his pervy Vaseline smeared
roots.
"I
don't know," he says with a tired heard-it-all-before
expression sweeping across his pale face. "Maybe I've
just grown up. I'm not into rubberwear as much as I
used to be. The whole thing was just a joke, anyway.
It was just two people getting a chance to make
records and thinking - This is a ridiculous thing to
do. Let's just take the piss and have a laugh."
Whatever would king Kurt make of that? 'Molly's Lips'
was the record that..... (Ssssssssh!!! Don't mention
Nirvana. I mentioned them once, but I think I got away
with it).
What
about that last album? Eugene once told M8's Innes
Reekie that 'Oomalama' (the group's debut ) was just
"indie-rock-by-numbers." He now feels that "maybe that
was a bit harsh" but agrees that the band's second
album, ' Mary Queen of Scots', is more of an
achievement all round. "We had better production,
better songs, a much more cohesive band playing the
songs and a bigger budget."
"'Oomalama' was just a lot of tracks which happened to
be stuck on the same bit of vinyl," explains Gordon.
"This time we demoed a lot of stuff beforehand. I
think the album's a lot more focused as a result. It
was really enjoyable to record. We were away out in
the countryside in Oxfordshire for a month, which was
really nice - afterwards we spent about ten days in
London just mixing it all down."
Having
written the perfectly respectable 'Hot Dog' for the
first album, why didn't Gordon contribute anything to
its successor?
"I got
myself a Sega mega-drive and my guitar just went out
the window. I'm totally amazing at the American
Football. I'll challenge anybody."
It was
nothing sinister to do with Herr Kelly's ego then?
"No...
Before we started, Eugene sat down and told us the way
he wanted to approach the album. He wanted to make it
all sound more together ."
"Everyone had input into each song," Eugene quietly
drawls. "I tended to just come up with the basic
structure of the song and some snatches of lyrics.
After I'd done that we'd all get together and
everybody would work it and pull it in different
directions."
It
seems to have done just the trick. On this album the
band have stopped sounding like Teenage Fan Club's
noisier cousins. They now sound like EUGENIUS and
nobody else (well, actually - in places they sound
rather like old looney tunes himself, Mr Roger
'Sydney' Barrett, but that's always been a sign of
quality to my Floydian ears).
Anyway.
So, tell me, Mr Kelly. Has fame brought you happiness?
"I'll
let you know about it when it happens. When we're
massively famous and you're walking down the street,
I'll shout from my limo, 'This is rubbish'."
You
could write an 'In Utero' all about how difficult fame
is.
"Yeah... it must be terrible."
Do you
believe in the Live Fast - Die Young philosophy?
Gordon
laughs in disbelief. "We're sitting here with our cups
of coffee and biscuits."
"Ask
River Phoenix that one," says Eugene quite seriously.
"Do you think he's going to be happy for the rest of
his...... (stumbling for word )... death? I'm not
really into dying just now. I quite like living."
What do
you think the new millennium's going to bring?
"The
sixteen hour girdle. Maybe the Japanese'll get it down
to 10."
"What
about Inflatable Pajamas?" adds Gordon excitedly.
"Ssssssh! That's my invention. Somebody's already
ripped off my idea for Edible Shaving Foam."
Excuse
me just one second. What are Inflatable Pajamas?
"You
wear them underneath your clothing. If you go to a
party and get drunk and want to stay over you just get
undressed and kind of pump them up so you can lie on
the floor in perfect comfort."
"It'd
be magic at festivals," says Gordon, enthusiastically.
"You wouldn't need to take a tent. You'd just sort of
peg yourself at the corners into the ground. You're
not even taking up any space on the ground, so people
can just walk over you or pitch up beside you."
I think
I've unleashed a bit of a monster here. Maybe we
should start talking shop again. Back to the album.
How do you go about writing your songs?
"I
don't plan it. I usually just happen to have a guitar
in my hand when I'm sitting watching telly and
something'll spark. Sometimes I just take lots of bits
and pieces I've recorded and join them together to
make a tune. It can take a long time. There're songs
on this album that I started just after The Vaselines
split up."
Were
you happier with the lyrics on this album?
"Happier than what?"
I read
somewhere that you weren't totally happy with the
lyrics on 'Oomalama'.
"Some
bits I'm happier with but I still think there's a lot
of work needed before I could say I was a good lyric
writer. I think on this album a lot of the lyrics
don't make much sense to anybody but me. They don't
read as a story. They're a lot more vague than that."
Ok,
then. Why don't you run us through them?
Eugene's guide to 'MARY QUEEN OF SCOTS':
'Pebble
/Shoe' - "written in 5 minutes coming home on the bus
after watching 'Jurassic Park'. It's about putting a
pebble in your shoe so that you can remember
something... a bit like tying a knot in your
handkerchief."
'On the
Breeze' - "about having someone dead with
you.......like a spirit on your shoulder."
'Blue
above the Rooftops' - "just about a love of nature....
You know?.... hippy feelings.... loving people and
loving nature."
'Mary
Queen of Scots' - "about people's ignorance towards
their heritage."
'Easter
Bunny' - "how people can change really drastically...
really quickly... how their character and interests
can change."
'Let's
Hibernate' - "one of these silly slacker songs about
not wanting to do anything, just wanting to sit and
get a bit mangled... and realizing that you should be
doing something better than that."
'Friendly High' - "other people deciding whether the
music you've created is good or bad..... and how when
it is good it makes you feel high."
'River
Clyde Song' - "a Country-esque kind of love song where
you throw yourself in the River Clyde because someone
doesn't love you. Love and Death."
'Tongue
Rock' - ' taking L.S.D. and feeling like your teeth
are false... or that they're maybe even somebody
else's."
'Fake
Digit' - "an 'end of relationship' type song where
someone is really bitter about it all ending... and
they say they were just pretending all along."
'Love,
Bread and Beers' - "our rocking Motorhead kind of song
about being away from home, and playing in a band.
It's all about missing people and missing places."
Do you have much of a female following?
"It's
not something we've checked up on. We've not done any
surveys or anything like that."
Naoko
from Shonen Knife reckoned the Bandits and yourselves
are popular in Japan 'cause Japanese girls "like
pretty boys." Isn't this a contradiction in terms?
Gordon:
"That's my wife you're talking about!"
Ooops.
What
about spotty guys asking you about guitar
specifications?
Eugene:
"Oh, yeah. You get that everywhere. But it's probably
a bit unfair saying that."
Gordon:
"As a band we're four pretty shy people. We don't
really go out of our way to talk to people. We're not
the sort of band that gets fourteen year old girls
screaming outside the dressing room doors."
Eugene:
"They probably wouldn't get out again." (laughs ).
Have
you met any of your heroes during your travels?
Gordon:
"I met Iggy Pop. I walked into the dressing room
looking for beer.... (in total awe ).. AND THERE HE
WAS."
I
believe he's taken up gardening. Did he mention that?
Gordon:
"Nah."
Eugene:
"That must be how he gets all his muscles...... 'Iggy
Pop's Gardening Workout'."
Gordon:
"'Green Fingers with The Ig'."
How
strongly is sex related to Rock 'n' Roll?
Eugene:""Well, you can't do one while you're doing the
other............ I've tried. It just doesn't work.
You keep getting your strings caught in the bed spread
... or losing your plectrums."
Not
very clever then, kids.
What turns you on?
Eugene:
"Inflatable Pyjamas.... Edible Shaving Foam........
two biscuits in a doily......... a mother's milk."
CAREFUL......
copyright r.
simian, 1994
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