Quotes - All in the Family

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All in the Family

All in the Family theme song
"Boy the way Glen Miller played,
songs that made the hit parade,
guys like us we had it made,
those were the days,
and you know where you were then,
girls were girls and men were men,
mister we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again,
didn't need no welfare states,
everybody pulled his weight,
gee our old Lasalle ran great,
those were the days!"

Click here to listen to the theme song.

Can't see humor in this 70's sitcom?
In the words of Bunker; "Aw, jeez, stifle youse, will youse?"

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"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you are one dumb Polock."-- Archie Bunker (to Mike)

"Listen Edith, I know you're singing, you know you're singing, but the neighbors may think I'm torturing you."-- Archie Bunker (to Edith)

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-"Did you know that 65% of the people murdered in the last 10 years were killed by handguns?"-- Gloria
--"Would it make you feel any better little girl, if they was pushed out windows?"-- Archie Bunker

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"I was talking about the Bible which has nothing to do with the Jews."-- Archie Bunker

"I'm not racist! I'll be the first to say it, it's not their fault they're colored!"-- Archie Bunker

All in the Family

-"If your spics and your spades want their rightful share of the American dream, let 'em get out there and hustle for it like I done."-- Archie Bunker
--"So now you're going to tell me the black man has just as must chance as the white man to get a job?"-- Michael Stivic
-- "More, he has more... I didn't have no million people marchin' and protestin' to get me my job."-- Archie Bunker
--"No, his uncle got it for him."-- Edith Bunker

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"God don't make no mistakes -- that's how he got to be God."-- Archie Bunker

"Hey, Sammy, I know there was nothing you could do about being born black, but what made you turn Jew."-- Archie Bunker (to Sammy Davis Jr)

"Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side."-- Archie Bunker

"It ainít supposed to make sense; itís faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe."-- Archie Bunker

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-"If the Pope ever made a mistake would God fire him?"-- Edith Bunker
--"No, Edith, the Pope is like the Civil Service - he's in it for life."-- Archie Bunker

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[Doorbell Rings]
-"There's someone at the door."-- Edith Bunker
--"Someone at the door. That's the first thing she's said today that makes sense."-- Archie Bunker

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-"Arch, that's crazy. How long have you been believing in curses?"-- Michael Stivic
--"How long have you been living here?"-- Archie Bunker

All in the Family

"We didn't crawl out from under no rocks. We didn't have no tails. And we didn't come from monkeys you atheist pinko meathead."-- Archie Bunker

"I believe in total equality between man and woman. But that equality can only come about when the female partner is willing to confess her total inferiority."-- Michael Stivic

"Tell you something Mr. Stivic. You are a meathead. A meathead, dead from the neck up."-- Archie Bunker

"If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook."-- Archie Bunker

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-"Ya know you are totally incomprehensible."-- Michael Stivic
--"Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense."-- Archie Bunker

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"I like company, I just don't like when they visit."-- Archie Bunker

"A man isn't suposed to be in the labor room. Even the doctors are ashamed to be in there, that's why they wear them little masks."-- Archie Bunker

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"Isn't it great? The baby's showing already. I wonder when he's going to start kicking."-- Michael Stivic
"As soon as he finds out his father's a Pollock."-- Archie Bunker
"Did you know your grandson is going to be half Pollock?"-- Michael Stivic
"Yeah, but I didn't think we had to tell him."-- Archie Bunker

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"How do you know it was an apple and not a peach or a tomato?"-- Michael Stivic
"Because God invented the apple first because A is for apples."-- Archie Bunker
"How do you know it wasn't an avocado?"-- Michael Stivic
"Because look at this," He points at his throat. "that's an Adam's apple from when Adam ate the apple."-- Archie Bunker

All in the Family

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| Wisdom | Religions/Christians | Humurous | All in the Family | The Osbournes |

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Created by Jenna - 2003-2004
Last Updated March 2004

 

 

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