funny stories, pearls of wisdom etc...
What more can I say except possibly - ENJOY!
If you're too open minded your brains will fall out
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity
Eat well, stay fit...die anyway!
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it!
Artificial intelligence is no match for stupidity
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands then you're eating it way too slowly.
If you eat equal amounts of white and dark chocolate it counts as a balanced diet.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place - now isn't that handy!
Put eat chocolate at the top of you list of things to do today - that way you'll get at least one thing done.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But
> if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
No Tomatoes
A stick
Nothing...it's not going to come to you anyway!
You always know if you are the first one to open a beer.
A beer never gets jealous if you grab another beer.
A beer never gets angry if you show up smelling of beer.
The colder a beer, the better.
You can always share a beer with your friends.
A beer does not get upset if you arrive at 3 a.m.
You can choose a beer from the case and, if you change your mind, you can pick another one.
Cause someone made a Boo-Boo!
It's something you throw at a wabbit.
Because he saw the phone
Tell her a blonde joke.
Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don't answer him. - Michael, 14
Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14
Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9
Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14
Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9
Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, 9
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, 15
Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10
Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8 '
![[Jokes]](http://us.yimg.com/i/ligans/cb/smjoke.gif)
