|Don't Look Now But is That the Minister?|
|The Canadian Wedding|
|The wedding ceremony and subsequent celebration differed greatly from Rural Weddings to Town Weddings, but were always a cause for much rejoicing. Victorians revered the institution of marriage as evidenced in the many periodicals and guides aimed at choosing a mate, so the event was always as lavish as their purses allowed.|
|When during the Courting Process, a gentleman made his intentions known and the young lady's father accepted him as a suitable match for his daughter, the girl would immediately begin to make herself a Trousseau. Later there would be a Quilting Bee, since it was customary for a bride to supply her new home with all Bed Linen, Table Linen and Bath Linen; most of which was made by her own hand.|
|A Faded Photograph from my Family Album|
|Most Victorian weddings were simple and genteel, but always terribly romantic. Great care was used in selecting the right Flowers and since it was imperative that they were in season, most weddings took place in June. Wedding dresses were usually made by the bride and designed to be both beautiful and functional, so that they could be worn for later special events. Many brides were also married in travelling dresses, if they had planned a honeymoon and had a train to catch.
However, we all know that marriage was not about the wedding, but what transpired after the exchanging of vows, and Light on Dark Corners had this to say about both, as well as some advice to the Newlyweds:
|1. THE PROPER TIME - Much has been printed in various volumes concerning the time of the year, the influence of the seasons, etc.; as determining the proper time to set the wedding day. Circumstances must govern these things. To be sure, it is best to avoid extremes in heat and cold. Very hot weather is debilitating, and below zero is uncomfortable.
2. THE LADY SHOULD SELECT THE DAY - There is one element in the time that is of great importance, physically, especially to the lady. It is the day of the month, and it is hoped that every lady who contemplates marriage is informed upon the great facts of ovulation.
3. THE "BRIDAL TOUR" - (aka Honeymoon) is considered by many newly married couples as a necessary introduction to a life of connubial joy. There is, in our opinion, nothing in the custom to recommend it. After the excitement and overwork before and accompanying a wedding, the period immediately following should be one of rest.
4. IF THE CONVENTIONAL TOUR - is taken, the husband should remember that his bride cannot take the same amount of tramping around and sight-seeing that he can. The female organs of generation are so easily affected by excessive exercise of the limbs which support them (good grief! They're not going to fall out), that at this critical period it would be a foolish and costly experience to drag a lady hurriedly around the country on an extensive and protracted round of sight-seeing and visiting.
|The parties are wedded. The priest or clergyman has pronounced as one those hearts that before beat in unison with each other. The assembled guests congratulate the happy pair. The fair bride has left her dear mother bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would break, and as if the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive against her will.
They enter the carriage. It drives off on the wedding tour, and his arm, encircles the yielding waist of her all now his own, while her head reclines on the breast of the man of her choice. If she be young and has married an old man, she will be sad. If she has married for a home, or position , or wealth, a pang will shoot across her fair bosom. If she has married without due consideration, or on too slight an acquaintance, it will be her sorrow before long.
But if loving, and beloved, she has united her destiny with a worthy man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often renewed, and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial spring.
|Advice to the Newly Married Couples|
|1. "BE YE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY" - is a Bible commandment which the children of men habitually obey. However they may disagree on other subjects, all are in accord on this; the barbarous, the civilized, the high, the low, the fierce, the gentle - all unite in the desire which finds it's accomplishments in the reproduction of their kind.
2. THE CONDITION OF THE FEMALE ORGANS - depend upon the state of mind just as much as in the case of the husband. The male, however, being more sensual, is more quickly roused. She is far less often or early ready. In it's unexcited state the vagina is lax, it's walls are closed together, and their surfaces covered by but little lubricating secretion. The chaster one of the pair has no desire that this sacred vestibule to the great arcana of procreation shall be immediately and roughly invaded.
3. FOR MORE THAN ONE NIGHT - It will be wise indeed, if the wife's confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient, delicate, and prolonged courting, as before the marriage engagement. How long this period of waiting shall be can only be decided by the circumstances of any case. The bride will ultimately deny no favour which is sought with full deference to her modesty, and in connection with which bestiality is not exhibited.
4. WHEN THAT MOMENT ARRIVES - When the bride finds that she can repose perfect confidence in the kindness of her husband, that his love is not purely animal, and that no violence will be attempted, the power of her affection for him will surely assert itself; the mind will act on those organs which nature has endowed to fulfil the law of her being, the walls of the vagina will expand, and the glands at the entrance will be fully lubricated by a secretion of mucus which renders congress a matter of comparative ease.
5. WHEN THIS RESPONSIVE ENLARGEMENT - and lubrication are fully realized, it is made plain why the haste and force so common to first and subsequent coition is, as it has been justly called, nothing but "legalized rape". Young husband! Prove your manhood, not by yielding to unbridled lust and cruelty, but by the exhibition of true powers of self control and patience with the helpless being confided to your care.
6. A WANT OF DESIRE - may often prevail, and may be caused by a lack of sleep, study, constant thought, and mental disturbance, anxiety, self-abuse, excessive use of tobacco or alcoholic drink, etc. Overwork may cause debility; a man may not have an erection for months, yet it may not be a sign of debility, sexual lethargy and impotence. Get the mind and the physical constitution in proper condition and most of these difficulties will disappear.
7. HAVING TWINS - Having twins is undoubtedly hereditary and descends from generation to generation, and persons who have twins are generally those who have a great sexual vigor. It is generally the result of a second cohabitation immediately following the first, but some parents have twins who cohabitate but once in several days. (Go figure)
8. PROPER INTERCOURSE - The right relation of a newly-married couple will rather increase than diminish love. To thus offer up the maiden on the altar of love and affection only swells her flood of joy and bliss; whereas, on the other hand, sensuality humbles, debases, pollutes and never elevates. Young husbands should wait for an invitation to the banquet, and they will be amply repaid by the pleasure sought.
9. RIGHTLY BEGINNING SEXUAL LIFE - Intercourse promotes all the functions of the body and mind, but rampant lust and sexual abuses soon destroy the natural pleasures of intercourse, and unhappiness will be the result. Remember that intercourse should not become the polluted purpose of marriage. To be sure, rational enjoyment benefits and stimulates love; but the pleasure of each other's society, standing together on all questions of mutual benefit, working hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder in the battle of life; raising a family of beautiful children; sharing each other's joys and sorrows, are the things that bring to every couple the best, purest and noblest enjoyment that God has bestowed upon man.
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