Lesson 49

"Being offensive in manner or actions, not polite or courteous; being ill-mannered or uncivil" (Macmillan Contemporary Dictionary).

The word "rude" is translated from the Greek word ASCHEMONEO, which is translated also as "behave itself unseemly" (1 Corinthians 13:5 KJV).

In other words, a person who is rude is a person who behaves in such a way that he offends others.
He is a person who does not car for the sensitivities or interests of others in his actions or behavior.
Being rude is a sin; it shows a lack of love toward others.

Instead, we should at all times seek to be courteous and polite and civil.
We should not go against the customs, manners and mores of the society which we are in and offend and stumble others unnecessarily.
As long as these customs or mores do not contradict the word of God, we should conform to them.

Thus Paul could declare:

"Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law) so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some."      (1 Corinthians 9:19-20, 22)

"Being selfish or being overly occupied in furthering one's own selfish interest" (Macmillan Contemporary Dictionary).

In other words, a person who is self-seeking will put his own interests first before those of God and other people.
Such a person will be rude, inconsiderate, heartless, demanding, etc.

A person who is self-seeking thinks only of himself and the benefits he will receive without consideration for the purposes of God or the integrity or needs of otters.
To live for yourself first is a sin.

The Greek words translated as "self-seeking" in 1 Corinthians 13:5 in the NIV is also translated in other Bible versions as
     "seeked ot her own" (KJV).
     "selfish" (JB, NEB) or
     "insists on its own way" (RSV).

A person who is rude is essentially a selfish person.
He is rude because he thinks only of his own interests and does not bother with the feelings of others.

Conversely, a self-seeking or selfish person may be rude at times or he may not be.
Rudeness is only one of the possible manifestation of selfishness in a person.

Since "rude behavior" is an expression of a "self-seeking" mentally, we will consider "rude behavior" as part of the expression of a self-seeking person.
When a person is self-seeking, his outward life will show a total lack of love towards God and others.

Toward God, a self-seeking person will put God's interest last, and will not be bothered with the plans and purposes in the heart of God.

Such a person shows the following characteristics:

E.g. "Sorry, I am not able to come for the Prayer Meeting because I want to bring my children to see that Award-winning movie tonight."
(You can always go other nights; and you and our children won't die without seeing the movie).

E.g. "Sorry, I am not able to give anything for the mission work in Africa because I am saving up for a new 29-inch TV."
(Buy a 20-inch TV instead and give the balance for mission work; let your money fulfill the purposes of God TODAY, and reap a harvest for eternity).

E.g. "Sorry, I am not able to join the Ministry Team tonight to pray for that oppressed sister because my neighbor invited me to his Company Dinner and Charity Concert tonight. In fact, I hear that his Company's Dinner has many lucky draws with good prized."
(Would you like others to give the same excuse when YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN OR YOUR LOVED ONES are oppressed and needed help?).

E.g. "Sorry, I will not able to go to the Children's Camp with the children because I am planning to bring my children to Disneyland in Florida."
(Which is better for the kingdom of God and for your children? Spiritual food or temporary pleasure? Money spent on leisure or for the kingdom of God?)

Towards others, a self-seeking person will put his own interests and feelings first before others.

Such a person will tend to be:

E.g. Talking at the back of the church when others are being prayed for by the minister in the front of the church, rather than praying along with the minister for the blessing of God upon others in need.

E.g. Not cleaning up the Camp-grounds or the Hall or the plates after Fellowship Dinner, leaving the litter behind for others to clear.

E.g. Letting your children walk about the main sanctuary, make noise and disturb others during worship, instead of bringing them to the children's room or Sunday's School and bring firm with them.

E.g. Praying loudly or putting on loud music or bright lights in the room, when others are resting or sleeping, instead of going elsewhere to study or to pray.

E.g. An adult rushes for the food after Sunday Service, competing with the children and not bothered with serving the guests first.

E.g. A guest at a buffet dinner talk all the prawns from the Special Dish into his plate, leaving little for all the other guests after him in the queue.

E.g. Always letting others pay for the food when you eat out together but not offer to pay for the food once in a while when you are able to do so.

E.g. Not bothered to find out the problems of those in need and always contributing very little to the needs of others even though you are in a position to be more generous.

E.g. Like to borrow things from others but always unwilling to lend, giving all sorts of excuses.

E.g. Jumping a long queue of vehicles by cutting in abruptly from another lane.

E.g. Entering another person's office or room without knocking.

E.g. Digging your nose or picking your teeth with an open mouth in public.

E.g. Giving a rough and harsh answer to those who have a right to ask questions of you.

E.g. Not greeting your elders (grandparents, parents, uncles, aunties, etc) when you meet them or when you enter other people's home.

E.g. Loudly demanding things of the receptionist or management staff at a hotel or restaurant or government department.

E.g. Not being polite and saying "Please" when you are requesting something from another person, or not saying "Thank you" when others have helped you.

E.g. Shouting at the person behind the counter because of "poor service".

E.g. Horning the slow learner driver in front. (She may be your future mother-in-law).

E.g. Getting angry with your employee when he accidentally spoils a piece of office equipment due to unfamiliarity.

E.g. Scolding your son/  client/ customer, because he is late for his appointment.

E.g. Gets angry with the differing opinions of others.

E.g. Looking down on the cooking of another sister who is just learning to cook.

E.g. An older person criticized and looks down on a newly married couple who have adjustment problems, rather than praying for them and counseling them privately.

When we are self-seeking, seeking first our own interests before the interests of God and of others, we will reap destructive consequences.

Jesus said that when a person seeks to preserve his life, he will lose it.
However, if he were to live his life for God, he will find it.

Then He said to them all: "if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.                                                                                                   (Luke 9:23-24)

In other words, when we are self-seeking, we will not receive God's abundant life.
We will not receive His love, His joy, His peace, and His fulfillment for our life.
We will never walk in God's purposes - never fulfilling our calling, our ministry, or our destiny in the plan of God.
Our lives will count for nothing in the light of eternity.

When we are self-seeking, we will be used by the devil to tear down other believers instead of building them up.

If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.                                                        (Galatians 5:15)

In the end, we will be alienated from other socially, in the church and outside the church.
Nobody wants to go near a selfish person, a person who is always advantage of others.
Nobody wants to befriend him or her.

Selfish people live lonely lives and die lonely deaths.
Few people want to visit such people when they are sick, or are in need, or are dying (expect the "poor" pastor).
They never helped others when they were well.
They will reap what they sow.

When we become followers of Jesus, we are no longer permitted to live our lives according to our own plans and ways.
All our own plans, interests, and ways of doing things must die.
We must die to ourselves, i.e. take up the cross.

We must die to our self-interests, our rights, our pride, our dignity.
We must die everyday.
We deny ourselves the right to live for ourselves.
Instead, we live for God and for others.

Then He said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.                                                                                                   (Luke 9:23-24)

God's word declares that our old self has already been crucified with Christ on the cross when we believed in Jesus (Galatians 2:20; Romans 6:6).
God has already put to death our old life of self and sin.
This is our legal position in Christ.
It is what God has done for all men in Christ.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.                                                                                                       (Galatians 2:20)

For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.                                                                                                           (Romans 6:6)

Experientially, we must affirm by faith this death with Christ in specific areas of our lives, everyday.
This is a command of God's word, that we believe God's work on the cross for us and agree to live no longer for our old self, but count (or reckon, or declare, or affirm) ourselves dead to sin and self (Romans 6:11; 8:13; Colossians 3:5).
In other words, we are to put to death our old self everyday.

In the same way, COUNT yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.                                                                                       (Romans 6:11)

But if by the Spirit you PUT TO DEATH the misdeeds of the body, you will live.                                                                                                 (Romans 8:13)

PUT TO DEATH, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual  immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.                                                                                              (Colossians 3:5)

Thus we need to declare to ourselves, as we are led by the Spirit, the death of our old self in Christ:

"I have been crucified with Christ, and its no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me."

"I die to my pride and my anger, right now. I will not be impatient with Brother Mike, but will be kind to him."

"Father, forgive me for my insensitivity to you and to others by talking when others are praying.
I die to my selfishness right now.
Help me to be sensitive and be considerate of the needs of others."

"I die to my greed and stinginess right now, in Jesus name.
I will give generously to proclaim the Good News, even as Christ has given His all for me.
"I will honor God with my tithes and offerings and shut the door to the devil to destroy my business and family."

We are commanded to die to self and live for Christ instead.

Then He said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.                                                                                                   (Luke 9:23-24)

To follow Jesus, we are commanded to:

We are to put God's kingdom first in our lives.
We are to put God first in every area of life.

Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment."                                                                         (Matthew 22:37-38)

We must set aside our time and energy for God's work and business.
We must learn to be zealous for God's house.
We must set aside time to seek God's face, worship him, fed on his word, and obey him in the area of time, finance, possessions, relationships.
We must no longer live for ourselves, but for God.

Where we are able to, let us offer our car to transport others, open our house for meetings, contribute to missions, pray for the sick and oppress, visit the lonely, help the needy, preach the Good New, and support God's work.

In this way, we all play our part in building up the church, setting an example of godliness to our children.
Also in this way, we lay the foundations for strong, spiritually-minded local church for our children to grow up in and to build on.

We must learn to be sacrificial for the work of God's kingdom

E.g. Queen Esther, when asked by her cousin Mordecai to see the king of Persia, willingly risked her life to go before the king to petition for the lives of the Jews

She said to Mordecai:

"Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish"
                                                                                                              (Esther 4:15-16)

Jesus has commanded His disciples to love one another as He has loved us.
In other words, we are to live our lives for the interests of others and no more for ourselves.
As Christ gave his life for us, so are we commanded to give our lives for one another.
By this, we testify to the world that we are followers of Jesus.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As i have loved you, so you must love one another. By this al men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.                                               (John 13:34-35)

We are thus no longer to put our own interest first, but the interests for others.
We must learn to be considerate of the needs and feelings of others.
We must learn to be generous to others, and not be stingy.
We must learn to be polite and not be rude.

We must be patient with one another, and not be easily angered.
We must learn to be kind to one another, and not be hard-hearted.
We must accept the shortcomings of others, pray for them and not be critical and judgmental of the weaker brothers and sisters.
We are to build up others ad not tear them down.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interests of others.
                                                                                                          (Philippians 2:3-4)

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be life God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.          (Ephesians 4:22-25)

Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.                                                              (Ephesians 4:29)

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
                                                                                                        (Ephesians 4:31-32)

 

Your thought

1. In what areas of life have we been rude or selfish?
   

2. Why is selfish behavior wrong?
   

3. What is the right attitude we should adopt in order that we do not behave in a rude or selfish manner?
   

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page