Fic: Dark Side Pleasures
E-mail: violet147@yahoo.com
Rating: R to NC-17.
Warnings: Some sexy boy on boy. Ooh baby.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Pairings: Bobby/John
Summary: John's a geek.


John’s favorite movie is Star Wars. Actually, it’s The Empire Strikes Back, but he’s just as happy watching the other two. He’s quite geeky about it, as he can tell you just how many hours it took for the extras to get into the Ewok costumes, or all the measurements of the Death Star. He firmly believes that Jabba the Hutt is actually one huge subliminal message advocating Satanism, and that George Lucas had not planned out all the movies in advance; otherwise why would the first movie be all about the Luke/Leia love and then the third one is all about Han no longer rocking it solo? And God forbid anyone ask him what he thought of the “first” two episodes. He’d have the unfortunate soul there for two hours just listening to him spew incoherently about how Jar Jar will end up bringing the destruction of literacy and how Hayden Christensen is the “most horrible motherfucker to suck his way through Hollywood.”

Because of this, no one, including Bobby, has figured out how the hell John got his reputation as a badass. For some reason, all of the younger kids flinch every time he looks over at them, and no one understands how this happened, because John is a geek. He denies it, of course, as he is currently doing now at lunch, even though just three minutes earlier, when Kitty mentioned that she couldn’t do anything with her hair this morning, he told her that she should try putting her hair in buns.

“You are a geeky fan boy,” Jubilee says.

“No I’m not.”

“For fuck’s sake, Johnny, you just told Kitty to put her hair in buns! You are a geeky fan boy!” Jubilee yells, waving her fork around.

“I’m a Star Wars connoisseur,” John insists.

“Geeky fan boy.”

“Connoisseur.”

“Geeky fan-“ She lets out a small cry of pain as her fork is now caught in one of her monstrous hoop earrings, and she glares at John. “Did you have anything to do with this?” she demands.

“No. You’re just that slick,” John answers with a smile.

“Fuck.” Slowly she untangles her fork from her hoop, then throws it at John. “You’re still a geeky fan boy.”

“Pot calling kettle black, Miss Colin-Farrell-And-I-Date-He-Just-Doesn’t-Know-It-Yet,” John replies.

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game,” Jubilee haughtily replies, and the conversation ends there, although it takes Bobby a week to get over the urge to laugh at Jubilee whenever she picks up a fork and starts talking.

But it doesn’t change the fact that John is a geeky fan boy, no matter how much he denies it. The guy’s got all three of the movie posters up in their dorm, for fuck’s sake. He just screams geek, Bobby thinks to himself later on that day as he walks back from the library. As he gets closer to their room, he hears the faint strain of The Imperial March, and he just shakes his head sadly. And he says he’s not obsessed. Connoisseur Bobby’s cold white ass.

Bobby opens the door and has a comment ready about the next time John decides to wank could he please not listen to a song dedicated to a large black man, but when he opens the door, John’s not wanking, but he is dancing. Dancing to The Imperial March. Oh, Bobby is so glad he came back from the library earlier than he had intended, and he wishes he had a camera, because this would make excellent black mail material. He wishes Jubilee was here, too. She’d appreciate it just as much as he does.

Bobby doesn’t say anything, just looks on as John is dancing, and. Bobby’s eyes widen. John is dancing, but, oh, John is dancing. Dancing like there is someone there to grind against. Bobby’s mouth drops open as he watches John’s hips (and Bobby has never noticed it before, but John has some nice, solid, strong hips), sway from side to side, in a rhythm that actually resembled rhythm, not like Bobby’s robotic attempts to dance. But this is not about Bobby. Oh no. This is about John, and those hips he never knew existed until now, and holy shit…is Johnny running his own hands down his own chest?

Bobby has decided he does not wish Jubilee was here.

John’s humming along with the beat of the song, bobbing his head to the side in the same beat as his hips and his hands are going, humming along very loudly and completely off-key. Normally Bobby would laugh, but Bobby’s tongue is currently stuck to the top of his mouth, frozen. He watches eagerly as John raises his arms above his head, as if he’s completely free, and then. Bobby thinks he’s going to pass out as John. Is. Rolling. His. Body.

Fuck.

John’s still rolling his body.

Fuck.

John’s still going.

Bobby’s about to go, too. About to go and cream his fucking pants. For the love of Pete, why didn’t someone warn him about this? Or send a fucking memo? Or at least a fucking phone call, something to the effect of, “Dude, John got porn star hips, watch out.” or anything, really, would have been at least considerate, except. Oh. Jubilee did say something, not that John had porn star hips, but that John had a nice body or something or other. Bobby’s brilliant, conscientious response had been that was nice, could she pass him the salt.

Okay, so maybe Bobby hadn’t cared the first time around, but now he did, because. Hi, porn star hips right in front of him, and oh, is that John turning around? This wouldn’t bode well. John’ll probably try to kick his ass. Eh. Bobby’s so horny he really doesn’t give a shit what John tries to do as long as he keeps up with the porn star hips act.

“How long have you been standing there?” John asks, out of breath.

“Meh.” is all Bobby’s able to say, and he’s pretty proud of himself for getting that out.

“I think Jubilee might be right,” John says.

“Meh.” Bobby still thinks he’s doing pretty good, all things considering.

John gives him a strange look, and asks, “You okay, Bobby?”

“Meh.”

John walks over to him, and Bobby must be imaging things, because he thinks he sees John marching over to him, with those porn star hips, and holy fuck. John’s standing right in front of him. “What is wrong, Bobby?” he asks, and Goddamn it. Bobby is positive that no one told him about John’s lips, or about John’s fuck-me eyes, and Bobby is ready to drop to his knees at any point in time. “And meh is not a word, Drake, so something coherent, please.”

“You said meh when you first saw your Darth Vader talking bank.” And five points to The Igloo House, for actually saying something other than meh.

“It was not meh, it was mwrh,” John corrects him, and Bobby doesn’t give a shit, because Johnny has very pretty lips. Cock-sucking lips. Mmm. Bobby closes his eyes for a moment as he imagines those lips wrapped around his cock, and holy shit, Bobby’s shuddering now, and fuck fuck fuck.

“Bobby!” Bobby’s eyes snap open and John is standing there, annoyed. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Um.”

“Oh, fuck this,” John declares, and he grabs Bobby by his neck and kisses him hard, and those cock-sucking lips are on his own, and his tongue is being assaulted by John’s, being wrestled around and pinned to the bottom of his mouth, and holy God, John’s moving those porn star hips against his, and between the hips and the lips, Bobby’s going to come in about .3 seconds.

John ends the kiss, but ends up traveling to Bobby’s ear, licking and sucking and biting and Jesus Christ, Bobby’s shuddering so hard he’s about ready to knock John over, and is The Imperial March still playing in the background? It no longer reminds him of a big imposing black man, but rather about John’s porn star hips and his cock lips, but mmm. So good. John’s mouth is right by his ear, and he whispers, “Welcome to the Dark Side, young Bobby-Wan.” Bobby would be laughing if it weren’t for the fact that he’s being assaulted by Darth Cock Lips, but that’s okay, because. He’s being assaulted by Darth Cock Lips.

“You’re such a geeky fan boy,” Bobby finally says.

“Yeah. But can geeky fan boys do this?”

And no, geeky fan boys can't, but this one apparently can, and Bobby’s coming in his pants. Fuck. Bobby looks up at John, who’s just smirking those cock lips.

“Who’s the geeky fan boy now?”


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