La Vita Dolce (The Sweet Life)

What does it mean to be a Dominant?

Mastery of One’s Self: A Dominant must always be in control of Him/Her Self. As a Master/Mistress, the Dominant will take charge of a submissive. It is impossible to take on the responsibility of Mastering another, if One can not Master Themselves.

Personal Standards: A Dominant must set and maintain high personal standards for Themselves. They must be an example to O/others, including Their submissive.

Self Respect: If not given to Themselves, it can not be shown to O/others.

Self Control: Many things in life may challenge a Dominant. Control of One’s Self is essential when those challenges present themselves.

Self Secure: A Dominant must know Themselves, and feel comfortable within Their Own skin to project Themselves in a true fashion. They will be challenged, and must be secure enough to tolerate differing opinions and views without considering them as condemnation.

Compassionate & Understanding: A Dominant must be sensitive to the needs of O/others. As Master/Mistress the Dominant will be responsible for the emotional well-being of a submissive that requires an open and accessible Dominant. They must be willing to share, and actively demonstrate that sharing in return is both safe and healthy.

Communicative: A Dominant must be able to communicate effectively in any situation, under any circumstances, in a variety of verbal and non-verbal ways.

Honesty: This is more than a concept, or a feeling. Honesty is expressed through actions. And only in demonstrating honesty, will it be seen by O/others.

Teacher/Guide: Dominants must meet the needs of a submissive for guidance. They are responsible for the personal and lifestyle growth of Their one. Their actions should be an example that teaches and guides E/everyone They come in contact with.

Well Rounded: W/we often forget that D/s is a lifestyle, and a Dominant must be full and complete. A Dominant must be romantic, happy, playful, have a sense of humor, have interests and pleasures, and all the things that make a complete human being.

Devoted: A Dominant must be Someone that can be counted on to be there, and to be available. When there is a problem, or Their submissive needs assistance, the Dominant must make every good faith effort to demonstrate that devotion.

Loving: There is no relationship without love. And although not every D/s relationship is built upon love, it is an essential part of any relationship for Me.

Protective: A submissive must feel safe and secure, both physically and emotionally.

Accepting: No O/one is perfect, W/we are A/all human. A Dominant must accept and demonstrate that to Their submissive; giving permission to be human.

Forgiving: Every human being will make mistakes. Dominants included. They must be able to forgive O/others, as well as Themselves.

Reassuring: A submissive needs to be reassured frequently. To know that they are valued and treasured. To know that their efforts and submission are noticed and appreciated.

Firm and Consistent: A submissive needs that consistency of expectations. Once rules and acceptable behaviors are established and communicated, they must be firmly and consistently applied. Do not, however, confuse firm with “domineering”.

Patient: All things take time. Knowing and accepting that E/everyone moves at T/their O/own pace, within their individual capabilities, is essential.

Creative: There is always more than one way to skin a cat, and different people respond in unique ways. Being adaptable and creative will yield better results, and make for a more satisfying and less stagnant relationship.