|1. A fellow walks into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.He said,'Shingles'She took down his name, address,medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.A few minuteslater a nurses aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, 'Shingles'She took down his height, weight, a complete medical history an told him to wait in the examining room.Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, 'Shingles'So gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for he doctor.Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.He said, 'Shingles'The doctor asked, 'Where'He said, 'Outside in the truck, where do you want them?'|
|2. Patient to the doctor,'Whenever i drink coffee, i have this sharp, excruciating pain. ''Try to remember ; to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking,'|
|3. Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor: Didnt the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now i see the spots muchclearer.
|4. 'Are you an organ donor?' 'No but i once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army'|
|5. A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep.The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants thet sheep's heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him, 'How are you feeling?' the man replies,'Not BAAAAAD!"
|6. Three doctors are on a duck blind and a duck flies overhead. The genereal practitioner looks at it and says,'Looks like a duck, flies like a duck, it's probably a duck,' shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, 'Hmmmm, green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound, might be a duck,' he raises his gun to shoot but the duck is well gone.A third bird flies overhead. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, bring the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, 'Go see if that was a duck,'|
|7. A baseball manager who had an ulcer was in his physician office for a check-up. 'Remember,' the doctor said, 'Dont get excited, dont get mad and forget about baseball when youre off the field.' Then he added, 'By the way, how come you let the pitcher bat yesterday with the tying run on second and two men out in the ninth.'|