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| 8. 'Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor blade''Dont panic, i'm coming immediately, have you done anything yet?'Yeah, i shaved with the electric razor.' | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 9. Doctor, Doctor, Youve got to help me - i just cant stop my hands shaking! 'Did you drink a lot?''Not really - most of it spilled out!' | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 10. Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the viloin after the operation? 'Yes, ofcourse..''Great! I never could before! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11. The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated, 'I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside of you.''Well if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone.' | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 12. Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news for you. Patient:well you might as well tell me the bad news first.Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have twenty four hours to live,Patient: 24 HOURS! WHAT COULD BE WORSE?? whats the very bad news? Doctor : I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 13. A man goes to his doctor for a complete check-up, he hasnt been feeling well all day ;wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the test results of the examination.I'm afraid i have some bad news. Youre dying and you dont have much time,' the doctor says.'Oh no, that's terrible, how much time do i have?' the man asks.'10...' says the doctor.'10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?' he asks desperately.'10....9...8....7....' | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 14. A man walks into the doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. 'Whats the matter with me?' he asks the doctor, The doctor replies 'Youre not eating properly.' | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15.'Doctor, are you sure i'm suffering from pnuemonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pnuemonia and finally dieing of typhus.' Dont worry, it wont happen with me, if i treat someone with pnuemonia he will die with pnuemonia.' | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 16. A guy walks into work and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss asks, 'What happened to your ears? 'He says, 'Yesterday i was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! i accidently answered the phone,'The boss asks, 'Well that explains one ear, what about to your other ear?'He says, "Well, jeez, i had to call the doctor!' | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 17. A pipe bursts in a doctor's house. He called the plumber. The plumber arrived, umpacked the tools, did some plumber-type things and handed the doctor the bill for $600, The doctor exclaimed 'This is ridiculous! I dont even make that much as a doctor! 'The plumber answered quietly, 'Neither did i when i was a doctor.' | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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