In what was a brazen attack against both Matthew Strain and human warmth everywhere, deliquent kids are believed to have found Matthew's diary on the floor of the biology classroom and do this to it:

For those who can't read, it says "I AM A FAGGOT" in big, black, bold letters with the G and O in 'FAGGOT' underlined twice. NB: The part under it in red pen that says 'That is a huge pen' was written by Matt in response to the incident.

Now I'm the first to agree that Matt's bit of a dipshit, but this is just plain wrong, rude, and a violation of everything our country stands for. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy, which is why I am saddened to see Matt dealt such a cruel hand of fate.
I again disguised my self to talk to Matt (this time as a crime-fighting astronaut) and discuss with him the details of this horrific atrocity.
"I'd actually been missing my diary for what I'm pretty sure was round-a-bout closish to two days. I just couldn't find the fucker. I guess I left in biology, cause that's where I found it this afternoon, covered in graffiti. I was quite shocked. Also of note was 'U R my faveourite mother fucker' (sic) written in corrective fluid on the desk I usually sit at, however I don't think it was directed at me. Lots of people use that desk." Matt told me.
However, it wasn't just the cover of his diary that was cruelly vandalised.

The equivilent to shitting on The Mona Lisa. NB: Again, more writing by Matt.

"I had this funny drawing on one of the pages of my diary, of this guy with his tongue out, or something..." Matt paused to think. "And yeah, they scribbled it out! I mean I can understand it if someone hates me that they'd write something offensive on my diary, but they're destroying art for future generations by defacing that picture. Now that's just sick and inappropriate." Truer words are rarely spoken.

And so, the investigations begin as to who it was that is to blame for such a cruel and pitiless act.

Sr. Sgt. Thomas Bilko of the Nambour Police Department Vandalism Unit

"So far we can narrow it down to any non-homosexual person who does biology at Matt's school, in the same classroom," says Sr. Sgt. Thomas Bilko of the Nambour Police Department Vandalism Unit. "It is most likely a boy studying grade nine or ten, as the handwriting indicates a certain maturity, yet the crudity at which it is employed suggests a juvenile age. Also of note, he sounds like bit of a dipshit, so one of the dumber kids for sure."

Whoever he may be, he's in for a long, painful experience as the guilt of his actions weigh him down like a sack full of horse shit. The police want him in jail; Matt just wants his life back.
"This is the worst thing that's happened to me since someone scribbled 'your are a wanker' on my desk in grade five." says Matt. "If any knows anything about this tragic incident, could you please come forward," Matt went on, gulping every so often, bravely finding the courage to continue as tears stung the yolks of his ever-aching eyes.
"I don't need compensation, I don't want revenge, all I want is closure, so I can get on with... my life..." continued Matt, trailing off as his emotions took over and left him a blubbering, pink beanbag.

If you have anything to report that may help us catch the scum who did this, don't hesitate to contact The Nambour Police Station Vandalism Unit. I, um... lost the number, so you'll have to look it up in the phone book under 'C' for 'Coppas'.