On Sunday, the 25th of March, I sat down with Matt and had a very short interview with him.
"Wait a minute," you might say, "I thought Matt didn't like you at all, Bronson K Volcomstalker. Why would he talk to you?" Good question, you precious little creature. Well, I had suspected that the fag Matt wouldn't have a bar of the non-fag, Me, so I went in a disguise. That disguise being a hommousexual, that is, someone who derives sexual gratification from the sodomisation of garlic and lentil spread. After I put on my moustache and regulation funny hat, I proceeded to conduct my interview with the surprisingly cordial yet disgustingly faggy Matthew Elisabeth Strain. His answers are written in pink, obviously.

Volcomstalker: Matt, good to see you champ. Welcome to the 2 question interview. Well, I see a change in hair colour again. It looks very nice *snigger*. How come you've decided to dye your hair? Matt: I dunno. I just get bored and stuff. I saw the dye at IGA and thought, yeh, I'll give that a go. And that night, I dyed my hair. Wow. But in general, I suppose the reason I dye my hair is 'cause I like changes. Mutate, don't stagnate. I think that's a good motto. But it's only a rinse. Volcomstalker: Oh, how charming. Well, now that the interview's over, how do you think it went? Matt: At the start I was really nervous, but that went away. I think I carried myself pretty well actually. Thanks for interviewing me. Volcomstalker: No, thank you, Matt... fag. Matt: What did you say?

Well, there you have it, Matt Strain has proven conclusively that he is a fag and a dick.