| April 14, 2003 Closest to President --I met the closest person to the President of the United States I’ve ever met today in my office. Under Secretary for Science and Technology, Dr. Charles E. McQueary, of the United States Department of Homeland Security (DHS) took a tour of the United States Secret Service (now a department within the DHS, previously of the Department of Treasury) today. He was of course taken on a broad tour of the facilities, but did manage to visit my specialized work area. He even introduced himself to me personally as “Chuck”. What a nice guy. For those of you that don’t know, the DHS was recently created by President George W. Bush in wake of the September 11th terrorist attacks on American soil back in 2001. Then Governor of Pennsylvania, Tom Ridge, was announced as the first Secretary of the DHS. Tom Ridge’s boss is President Bush. Dr. McQueary’s boss is Tom Ridge. You do the math. Yes, I met a guy that’s only three tiers from President of the United States, and I gave him a little presentation of what I do all day (which I can’t tell you cause its classified government information :) Anyways, I guess today was interesting. April 11, 2003 The residual effects of the PAB --I don’t like the PAB (if you don’t know what that is, find out here). Yes they’re deaf, dumb, and blind to the truth, but that doesn’t mean I have to like what they represent. And that’s it, I’m not hateful of the PAB person, but what he represents and the actions carried out. Not only do I hate what they represent, I absolutely loathe it, and I abhor even more the residual effects the PAB has on the girls around them. What I’m gonna talk about next is only factual observation and probability based on observational statistics. PAB’s are usually (not always) found in the prescense of “pretty” girls. And “pretty” girls are you usually in association with PAB’s, at least in some point and time in their lives. {I’d be remiss if I didn’t clearly indicate what I mean by “pretty girls”. By “pretty” I mean the upper echelon of what our society delineates as physically attractive. I mean the “homecoming-queen” types, the “hot” types I guess. And our society’s (western culture in general, America in particular) view on what’s physically attractive may be totally different from a society half way across the world. But I’m focusing on our society’s view for my purposes here. Let’s just go with the “homecoming-queen” types, I think you know what I mean by “pretty”. I’d also be remiss if I didn’t clearly indicate that my outlook of what’s “pretty” strays very far (although not totally away from in a purely natural human sense) from our society’s outlook. I’m a firm believer in “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. There are qualities, good and bad, I see in girls that entirely dominate their physical attractiveness compared to our society’s standard of what’s “pretty”. These exponentially more important “inner” qualities not only render society’s standard futile, they also somehow increase it in an odd sense. When you begin to see how beautiful someone is in the inside, for some reason (even though you may or may not have been totally attracted to them physically initially) they begin to become very physically attractive to you. Weird stuff, but it’s true and I can’t deny that. This in turn proves “love at first sight” is only a myth, but that’s another article to be written later. Anyways, I just want you to know that yes, I agree there is a social standard, hierarchy if you will, of the physical attractiveness of women, as well as men, but not as much. And yes, I am subject to that standard because I am only human and my sinful male mind gladly, though regrettably, submits to that social categorization. But I want you to also realize that this “standard” is superficial in the face of relational depth, friendship, and ultimately true love. Back to my original random thought because I’m getting too far away now} Anyways, it’s no secret that PABs hang out with “pretty” girls. It’s their very nature to base their attraction to the female species on purely perfunctory means, as is the nature of every male. The unfortunately thing of it all though is that “pretty” girls (not all, but I’m starting, because of life experience, to lean towards all) feel that they need to not only hang out with PABs, but also entertain them emotionally, seduce them mentally, and satisfy them physically (I could get into the absolute insecurity in girls, as well as guys, but I won’t in this dissertation, I don’t feel like it). Oh what agony that this exists in the world that I live in! Sheesh, and people wonder why I hated my college experience... The thing that kills me even more is the residual effect the PAB association leaves on these girls. I don’t know what kind of background these girls have. I don’t know whether they had fathers that told them they loved them. I don’t know if they’re mothers told them how special they were. I don’t know if their parents hugged and kissed them as they were growing up, exhibiting the care and nurture that God metaphorically has for us. I don’t know if these girls even had a father or mother. Or maybe they did, and their dad beat them a couple nights a week. Or maybe their mother “went out” while daddy was at work, to continue her affair with the town councilman. Maybe the father sexually abused her, maybe her uncle sexually abused her, or maybe it was that guy down the street. I don’t know where these girls have come from and I count myself blessed that I’ve been sheltered from many of life painful realities. All I know is what kind of person I see in front of me. I see girls that have been told by a guy that he loved her, but later decided a baby wasn’t in his plans. I see girls that have been given gifts and kisses by guys, but it’s been so many gifts and kisses by so many different guys, that these girls are just numb to what they truly mean and how important they really are. I see girls work out at the gym everyday of the week, wear the tightest clothes in 35° weather, and go to the darkest places; just because she thinks she needs someone to tell her she looks good. Just cause she thinks she needs eyes googling her. These are the residual effects of their experiences with PABs in the past, and they know no other way to live. I was riding the bus one late night at Virginia Tech on a weekend and it wasn’t very crowded. I sat across from a “pretty” girl and all I could look at were her eyes. These eyes of her, though I could tell beautiful underneath, were clouded in something dark and barren. Tears had befallen them only minutes earlier and I could see so much apathy, emptiness, and false love in her. She tried to cover it up with a “normal” facade, but I was no fool to her soul predicament. I wanted to talk to her, ask her if she was ok, but she got off at the next stop. But I couldn’t help wondering what had happened. Did the party she was at go awry? Did she just lose her virginity one more time and regret it again like she has after each time? Maybe her “close” guy friend, who thought she didn’t care each time he referred to her as “B!+(#”; maybe he said it one too many times tonight. I can’t be certain, but somehow I believe a PAB was involved and she was subjected to his degrading character. And I wanted to fight that PAB, I wanted to kick his @$$ all over Blacksburg (yes, this wasn’t the proper or righteous way to deal with it, but sometimes my human nature of revenge is too strong). But really I just wanted to hug this girl and tell her that God loves her. That she was so beautiful and graceful. I wanted to tell her that she is so important in the eyes of the one that created her. I wanted to tell her that the love she was so desperately seeking was obtainable if she’d only higher her standards. I wanted to tell her that there are a scattered few guys out there somewhere that would treat her right; that would respect, honor, and revere her being purely. That would take an interest in something other than her waist, bust, and hip size. That they would give their lives for her, love her like she deserved, and that would admire her for who she is on the inside. I wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to live her life according to the residual effects that PABs have caused her. She didn’t have to listen to her friends, MTV, or Cosmopolitan. I wanted to tell her these things, but she got off at the next stop... People tell me, “Keith come on, you can’t save the world. You can’t save every girl out there that chooses those paths. And it’s their choice ya know.” Why not I say to that? What can’t I? If I don’t tell them there’s a better way, who will? Why do I have to live in a world where I can’t do that, where I’m restricted to my own little tiny sphere of influence? Why does Adolf Hitler get the world stage for slaughtering millions of Jews and I can’t get a world stage for trying to help people? And is it their choice? Can you even make a conscience choice if there is no other path to choose? It’s impossible to make a choice when you have no alternative. These girls, all their lives they’ve just known PABs in their paths. They’ve never met a guy that would treat them right. And that’s the freakin irony of the whole thing. Our society is dominated by PABs and I can’t do a freaking think about it. Sure I can hold my little speeches and crusades, but no ones listens anymore, not my peers. So I can hardly expect my younger peers to listen. Nobody wants to learn from other peoples’ mistakes. Everybody for some stupid idiotic reason wants learn from their own. No one listened to me in college. That’s why I had to get away. It was like the whole college campus was against me and my “alternative” thoughts. Maybe I am a freak spurting crap from my “non-fun” personality. But if I ever have to look into the eyes like that girls on the bus again, I’m going to drive my car into a brick wall. I can’t take it anymore. I thought I got away from it by leaving college, but I can never get away from it. I can run but I can’t hide. “Keith, what’s up with your biasedness towards “pretty” girls. That seems kind of shallow to me. Here you’re talking all valiant and stuff, but “non-pretty girls” and lots of other people have feelings too ya know.” Do I care about everyone? Deep down I think you know that I do. Am I so zealous about the crappy situations that kids in Zimbabwe or refugees in South Korea experience as I am with the people around me? No. I can’t explain why residual effects that PABs have on the girls around me strike such a chord in my soul. But for some reason I come in contact with these types of girls, and I almost feel called to address this subject. Because I think all girls go through this in some shape or form. I mean a PAB doesn’t have to fit the exact description I make. It’s basically any guy that treats a girl less than he would his own sister (which should be with the utmost pure respect). All I’m saying is that is seems, from observational experience, that PABs have more effect on “pretty” girls (remember my definition of “pretty” girls) than anyone else. For better or for worse (I’d like to think worse). But that’s the probable facts of the matter. I’m just tired of getting older (actually I’m not because it means I’m closer to Heaven) and seeing more and more girls live their “love” lives apathetically. You’d think as they get older, they’d realize PABs for who they are and have nothing to do with them. But the opposite seems true. It seems like they become so jaded to what they really want “down deep” that they’ll just take what they can get. It starts in high school, gets worse in college, than hits its peak when they get to the working world and the hopelessly loveless “bar scene”. I know these girls had thoughts of a knight in shining armor when they were 12, 13, and 14. But through their experiences with PABs, they seemingly have no hope of that “Sleeping Beauty” storybook ending. Of course that couldn’t be further from the truth, but the residual effects of PABs are strong, and it’d take divine intervention to squelch the lies they’ve been fed. I’m not that divine intervention, I just want to direct these girls to it. I can’t save anyone, sheesh, I can’t even save my own soul. But I just pray for the opportunity to receive the query, “Take me to your leader.” If they only knew... “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” -Proverbs 31:10 April 9, 2003 The Oscars --I may be a little late on the entry but oh well. I was paging through my latest issue of Entertainment Weekly (I don’t know why I have a subscription to it either, but it keeps showing up in my mailbox every week), and I found a couple of pictures during the Oscar’s and parties afterward that I thought interesting. So I scanned some in and made some comments. Check out my Hollywood Reporter page (caution: bunch of pictures = loading time). Oh yeah, whoever votes for the Oscars sucks. Both Lord of the Rings movies should’ve won it the last two years (Chicago??? Who the @#$% cares about that movie!!). Anyways, if Lord of the Rings: Return of the King doesn’t win Best Picture next year, I’m gonna....I’m gonna...I’m gonna prolly not care cause most of those Hollywood people are esoteric puds anyways. April 8, 2003 EbbGames (girls and “grown up” guys need not apply) --Bare with me folks, the creation of EbbGames as a separate entity from Random Thoughts is still in the planning stages. Meanwhile, check out my gaming tidbits via RT. • Keeps going and going and going... Has anyone else noticed the original Playstation (Playstation 1, PSOne, PSX) is still running strong. Well it is. After pushing about 100+ million units across God’s green earth, Sony’s 32-bit workhorse is still pumping out high quality games. Square-Enix’s Final Fantasy Origins being one of them, released today in North America. It’s basically a souped up version of both the NES classics Final Fantasy I and II. Anyways, I highly recommend you to pick up this title of RPG goodness for that little gray Playstation unit you got collecting dust (or it will work in your nice shiny PS2). Plus it’s only $30. Can’t beat that with a stick. • Zelda preliminary review As mentioned earlier, I have obtained a copy of Zelda: The Wind Waker for Nintendo Gamecube, and am quite pleased, I think. I’m only about an hour into the game so I’m not deep into the story or gameplay elements, but I do have a good idea of what the game will be like. First of all, the game is beautiful. Never have I seen a game so cartoonily pretty. I feel like I’m playing a cartoon actually. The use of cel-shaded graphics is almost flawless. Second of all, I like the music, it makes me happy. Third of all, and because I’ve never actually got into a Zelda game before this, I’m learning the ropes of the controls, which seem to be fairly intuitive and numerous. Nothing overly difficult to do with your little green-cladded Link wanna-be. The characters seem cute and cool and the story seems to be adventurous, although a little on the kiddie, cardboard cut out side. But again I’m only an hour into it. The only qualm I have so far is the first “real” mission you go on. After the whole “tutorial” stage on the “cute as a button” island you live on, you go to a scary island to fight monsters. Problem is, once you get there you lose your cool sword, the very same one you just got in the tutorial stage! Uggg, I want my sword back!!! That’s my only qualm so far, and maybe the semi-slow pace of the game. But maybe that’s just Zelda for ya. More in the future on this coolio game. • Gauntlet II Remember Gauntlet? You know, that hack n’slash, dungeon crawler arcade game that you played with 4 of your buddies and blew like a hundred quarters each time you played it? Yeah that one. “Valkyrie, your life is running out!” “Someone shot the food!” Anyways, I’ve got my hands on one, well the shell of one, and am in the process of restoring it to its 1986 Atari glory! It’s gonna be sweet. I’m really putting a lot of time, sweat, and money into this, I want it to be right. Anyways, when I'm finished I’ll put up some pictures of it as it will be a very welcome addition to Uncle Keify’s Arcade. April 4, 2003 Wargames --This picture could quite possibly be the coolest picture of the war in Iraq. Well maybe not the coolest (gosh, can pictures relative to war even be considered “cool”? I think that Pic of the Day picture on my homepage I have up currently is cool”. It reminds me of Star Wars). This is what Keith Wojciech would be doing if he joined America’s Army. Forget the Iraqis; I gotta get to Level 9!!! I’d probably get dishonorably discharged pretty quick. Here’s a shout out to all my brothers and sisters fightin for freedom though....keep on keepin on. April 4, 2003 Indoor Soccer --Just thought I’d let my few readers know I’m playing on two indoor soccer teams this spring. It’s a good way for me to exercise, and playing soccer is something I’ve always enjoyed since I was a super blonde, bucktoothed, little grommet. It’s coed-soccer so I am playing with girls, but it’s a lot of fun and some of those girls could kick my @r$e, well at least with a soccer ball :) I play for a team called the Orphans and Pele’s Lovechild. All the games are at Fairfax Sportsplex in Springfield, VA. if you’re ever interested in seeing me kick a ball around for no apparent reason. I used to play soccer... Ole, ole, ole, ole, ole....Brazil, Brazil......everybody sing! Go USA in World Cup 2006! April 3, 2003 Optimization --I just realized that my website is optimized for not only Internet Explorer 6.0, but also 1024 x 768 pixel viewing area. So if the website doesn’t fit properly on your computer screen, that’s why. I can stand big fonts and icons. You can adjust your Windows viewing area by “right-clicking” your desktop and clicking the “settings” tab. April 3, 2003 'The Scattered Few' Unofficial Soundtrack --I’ve put together my unofficial soundtrack for my movie. You can find the soundtrack list here. I figure if it ever does get made, this is the general soundtrack I’d want. I’ve actually burnt myself a copy of the soundtrack and, being the brainchild of the screenplay, I can play each scene out in my head as if the music was playing in the background (yes, I am a nerd, stop debating about it). If you want a copy of the unofficial soundtrack, let me know and I might be able to burn you one. April 3, 2003 Self congratulations --EbbWorld has now surpassed the 2000 hit mark. It might not be close to www.cnn.com or www.girlsgonecrazywildseetheirhotpictureshere.com, but I’m proud of the achievement. Having a personal website get 2000 hits is an accomplishment cause I don’t offer any products or services, just hopefully interesting writing. And I’ve had a spike in website visits ever since I started my “Random Thoughts” column. Apparently everybody has random thoughts, and apparently some people like to read about mine. Speaking of writing, you might be wondering why I’m writing again after my seemingly “temple of doom” tirade a few days ago. Well I’ve realized that there’s more to life than pity parties and being an emotional basketcase. Yes that’s right, I’m admitting my emotional basketcaseness, as well as my insecurity concerning friendships and relationships. Luckily I’ve been blessed with a good life anchor so I haven’t drifted too far away (...I first saw you in the summertime...and then, I just drifted away...), but I don’t like going through times like this. They expose my faults and humble me to snail-like height status. But the weaker state I find myself in, the stronger He works for His glory, not mine. When all seems bad, well it’s all good...from Diego to the Bay...where you at Dre? (I guess this entry title contradicts my last few thoughts huh...) *haha, and you thought it was a real website :) April 3, 2003 God surfs --There’s no denying that God likes to “hang ten”. Recent investigation of his playbook to us reveals hidden surfer lingo that is sure to have the gnarliest dudes stoked. Despite the usual dearth of surf the Mediterranean provides, Paul and Co. had a rad session one day back when, old skool for sure. Let’s pick up the word of this surfing hot spot from the brah that shredded it: “But the ship struck a sandbar and ran aground. The bow stuck fast and would not move, and the stern was broken to pieces by the pounding of the surf.” Acts 27:41 The first bonehead move here was by the captain to take the boat too close to the sandbar. Any surfer on an exotic expedition knows you anchor the boat out past the breakers before you paddle out for the waves. Anyways, not only did they discover some kickin waves at the island of Malta, near Greece, they tore it up a little as later described by our resident journalist Paul of Tarsus: “...He ordered those who could swim to jump overboard first and get to land. The rest were to get there on planks or on pieces of the ship. In this way everyone reached land in safety.” Acts 27:43-44 What Paul meant by “plank or pieces of the ship” was of course surfboards. And of course everyone reached land safely, duh they must’ve all been pretty good surfers (I can just hear the Beach Boys tunes in the background....”Surfin Mediterranean!”). This only further proves the existence of surfing in the 1st century, as well as God’s passion for it by including it in his message to us. Paul also mentions the nice locals: “Once safely on shore, we found out that the island was called Malta. The islanders showed us unusual kindness. They built a fire and welcomed us all because it was raining and cold.” Acts 28:1-2 Could these “kind islanders” have been a bunch of hot babes in bikinis??? One can only speculate. This excerpt also indicates that Paul was probably the original designer of the wetsuit. He was obviously adverse to the cold water. Well there you have it, undeniable proof that God is a surfer and that probably surfing will be the leisure of choice in Heaven. Surf fast, and surf hard! April 3, 2003 Attack of the Giant Squid! --It seems colossal squid specimens are popping up quite frequently over the globe nowadays. Scientists in Antarctica recently discovered what is thought to be the largest intact giant squid caught so far, and it’s only a young female! (I can’t imagine what daddy looks like). The legend of giant squid are what adventure stories on the high seas were made for; from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea to Attack of the Giant Squid, big killer octopuses (or “octopussies” as 007 would say, hehe) are an adventure-seeking boy’s wet dream (pun intended, no pun intended.......oh goodness, I’m bad). The giant killer squids are down there, somewhere, even though we’ve never seen them in their nature habitat yet. But there’s plenty of evidence to indicate they’re down there. Oh mighty Kraken, where art thou! CNN link Saying --I can’t get over how true this is; that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. April, 2003A.D. Nothing --I’m eliminating this entry, because I don’t like to read about my crappy pity-parties in the past. April 1, 2003 The difference --Did you know that all religions have some sort of “saved by grace” doctrine? I bet you didn’t. The Muslims are firm believers that you’re saved by the grace of Allah, but you must do “this and that”... The Hindu’s believe you are saved by the grace of nature, but you must do “this and that”... The Soi’nata’ believe you are saved by the grace of eternal heaven, but.... Many people think you are saved by the grace of Christ, but that there is so much more to salvation... Christ believes you are saved by the grace of Himself, case closed...end of sentence...no strings attached...no “buts”... ...no strings attached...no buts...what a totally illogical, yet unique and amazing thought....a thought foreign to man and all of his religions... March 31, 2003 Ebb Updates • I currently am writing my next book entitled “American Virgin”. Be sure to look for updates and special sneak previews. • I played in a 3-on-3 basketball tournament this past weekend and my indoor soccer league started also on Sunday night. My body is not used to this strenuous physical activity. My body is sore. • I picked up a copy of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, this weekend. I’m about an hour into it. Pretty cool stuff. Look for a review in the future. • The NHL playoffs begin next week. Its safe to say almost nothing could tear me away from them (well maybe a long lost love....nevermind. stop dreaming fool) • I didn’t have a good weekend emotionally and spiritually. Too many poison darts fired my way. I wasn’t prepared, my defense was anemic, and I got ripped to shreds. Idleness, loneliness, and depression don’t mix well with each other. I’m putting it away in the past and pray that I won’t fall back into my pit of despair. To Hell with the Devil. • It snowed on Sunday. A bit odd. March 28, 2003 Spirited Away --I wanted to make a plug for a wonderful animated movie coming out in theaters this weekend called “Spirited Away”. Released in Japanese theaters over a year ago (I’ve only seen the Japanese version), Hayao Miyazaki’s feature makes Disney’s latest outings look like a 7th grade art project. If you love animation, love a great fantastical story, look no further. Combining Japanese myth and pure imagination, this movie really takes you back to why you loved animation as a kid. “Spirited Away is a wondrous fantasy about a young girl, Chihiro, trapped in a strange new world of spirits. When her parents undergo a mysterious transformation, she must call upon the courage she never knew she had to free herself and return her family to the outside world” Being a Japanese animation aficionado myself, I always like to make a plug for the art. Those guys and gals on that Pacific island really do some great work. Unfortunately, even though Disney is distributing it in the USA (if you can’t beat em, join em I guess) the movie is sure to see a limited release, so go out and see it. Don’t blow your money on one of America’s superficial, drone-quality, potty-mouth, sex-everywhere, crap-fests movies like most Americans do these days. At least rent the DVD that comes out in a month or so. Anyways, if you like it, I recommend these other great Japanese anime features. You can find them on DVD anywhere. • Princess Mononoke (another Miyazaki masterpiece) • Metropolis • Escaflowne • Grave of the Fireflies (this movie made me cry, I kid you not!) • Street Fighter: The Animated Movie (I just had too, really its great) • more... March 27, 2003 Random Thought --Is it just me or does that border to the left look like a vine of poison ivy? It says its generic “leaves”. Hmmmm March 27, 2003 Nice guys finish last --That’s a loaded statement. For as much as the observation of reality would seemingly validate that statement, it’s worded entirely skewed. And it’s not as if “bad” guys finish first, just as it’s not like “nice” guys finish last. It’s a relative statement. Some “nice” guys do finish first (by using the phrase “finish first/last” I’m of course referring to romantic relations, possibly resulting in marriage, between a guy and girl; in a situation where each party is physically attracted, if not extremely, to each other {guys more visually (hopefully emotionally also) girls more emotionally}) and some “bad” guys finish first (how, I’ve yet to fathom). And vise versa also. But I think observational data can dictate a highly probable, if not absolute, statement concerning the type of guy that does “finish” first and the type that finishes last, regardless of their niceness or badness. Secure guys finish last. Insecure guys finish first. A recent study was done on marriage and results indicated most newlyweds experience a brief emotional bounce after their wedding, but they eventually return to the same outlook they had on life before they tied the knot. Well no duh Sherlock! Anyone that thinks marriage will somehow “fill the void” in their lives, satisfy that deep yearning, or “complete you” is sorely mistaken (see RT1 article entitle Joy vs. Happiness). Though marriage (romantic relationship included) is an amazing temporal grace-induced blessing (meaning something we don’t deserve), it does not come close to a 24-7 soul remedy. So when studies like this are published, it surprises me not, to see the conclusion. *Yes I’m getting to how this ties into secure guys finishing last, just a second.... So even though you girls, flipping through the pages of your Modern Bride and Southern Living (oh those embroidered linens will look wonderful in the guest bedroom!) magazines, think that when he puts that shinning rock (do I want a round or marquise stone? oh I can’t decide...) on your finger all of life’s troubles will go away, well sorry to break the news to you, but it ain’t gonna happen. (in fact, you might even be worse off in marriage if you find this out too late). And all you guys who think that when you’re finally able to spend the night in the same bed with her that all your worries will disappear, sorry bro, be prepared for an earthquake of disappointment. Yes the title statement said guys, so I’ll try to stick to the guys. How all this correlates to my statement is simple. Insecure guys finish first. Or I should say “guys that think marriage/a relationship will solve life’s problems” finish first. Secure guys, the scattered few out there (and hopefully some Sally’s and Jane’s too), have no need for marriage/a relationship. They understand that it won’t cure the thorn in their side and therefore don’t live life as if it will. They do not “pursue” girls or “find” love. If a girl comes their way or love finds them, well sound the trumpets of love, and praise a graceful God. But it is not necessary and therefore, in a society where it is deemed necessary, they are misunderstood outcasts, and the price to pay is disdained singlehood. A girl will wonder why he did not try to kiss her. She will wonder why he is not calling her every night, giving her flowers, or writing sweet nothings in the moonlight. Could his internal intentions carry the most romantic allegations ever? Possibly, but he will not physically and even may not emotionally display his feelings (before the right time) because he realizes if would fester the very same insecurity he wishes to avoid. And so she’ll wonder....for a night or two, then she’ll prove her superficial feelings for him by dropping him from her “to use” list. The next phone call will be to that guy she’s been gandering at in Sociology (enough teenage/20-something politics already Keith!). On the opposite side of the spectrum exists the “insecure” guy, the guys that finish “first”. Here we have a male that buys into the norm, that having a girlfriend/wife somehow boosts his status as a homo-sapien. And so he’ll watch MTV, he’ll lease the new car, he’ll work the job, he’ll write the notes, he’ll make the calls, he’ll check the away messages endlessly, and he’ll pull the “moves” to try to secure what he believes will give him “joy”. Throughout all this reckless courting (ha, what terrible abuse we do that word and theory behind it these days), he unknowingly is reducing his stock of being a bona-fide, capable “lover”. How can one give love to more than one person? Well that’s easy, split the stocks. So by the time you marry “the One”, you’ve successfully split your “love stocks” maybe once, twice, three, and heck maybe even twelve times! So there are little girlies out there running around with like 10% of your love stock here, 23% there, 38% over yonder. Unfortunately, because you’ve spent most of your “love stock” on other girlfriends in romantic relationships in the past, “the One” only gets like nominal amounts of the company’s romantic shares, and these are shares you can never buy back (a spirit can be renewed, that which is not physical. but unfortunately we reap what we sow physically. Physical consequences and memories do not “fade away”). The insecure guy doesn’t maintain 100% of his stock because that’s the “safe and boring” way to do love economy. And unfortunately our society’s interpretation of “love stock” doesn’t advocate the “safe and boring” method. So in a market for “reckless and abandoned” lovers, the insecure guys thrive. The market has fairly equal constituents too, females and males posting almost identical rates on desiring love (insecure love that is {CNNMoney ain’t got nothin on me}). Unfortunately, today’s love economy isn’t too amiable to the secure guys. They’re stock prices are high, but unfortunately, because of their low numbers of shares, they don’t sell too well; ergo “finish last”. Girls don’t tend to be attracted to the guy that’s tight with his “love stocks”. They don’t want a penny-pincher who carefully calculates each price; they want a spender, someone who’ll spend some “love stock” on them. So sure, some nice guys do finish first. And I’d say most insecure guys, if not all finish first in some degree, their insecurities will accept no less. Can I make an absolute statement that a secure guy will forever finish last? Not really I guess (I’m not sure exactly what “finishing” means in the first place, and to what degree “first” and “last” associate with each other). But I’d think it’d take two secure matches for a proper “finish” to even occur. When a guy says things like “I can’t live without you” or “You’re my everything” or “I don’t know what I’d do without you”, girls please don’t misinterpret that into some sort of pure love. Words like that indicate insecurity in who they are as a person. Words and actions like that say indirectly that they have no identity aside from you, and you can’t even be guaranteed that they even feel that passionately about you if their track record says otherwise (of course people can change, but you really really should be sure they’ve honestly changed before jumpin into a romantic relationship). Girls, do you desire a guy that sees you as an object of his deep-down insecure selfish fulfillment? (whether emotionally, physically, spiritually) Or do you desire a guy that sees you as one of the most amazing blessings on this planet that only the God of the universe could’ve gracefully and provided for him? Are you a gift, or are you an expectation... (Girls, here’s a love test for you. Tell your boyfriend that you think you should take a month respite from the relationship (no seeing, no talking, no IMing {no matter how serious}), just because you want to think about things and take inventory. His reaction to that suggestion will tell you all you need to know about his security, his virility, and his true love for you.) My thoughts here aren’t designed to battle love, relationships, and marriages. By all means no, we all desire someone, no denying that. I’m not here to persuade you to become a nun or monk. What I’m here to say is to guard your heart. And not only to guard it, but take inventory every so often. Ask yourself if you are living an insecure love life. Ask yourself if your actions now or in the past showed love toward your potential future love. And don’t think because you’re not involved in a relationship or not married currently that you’re absolved from my challenge. For it is when we’re most lonely, that our true insecurities show. Do you believe that a relationship is going to solve things or make you joyful? Do you expect or think you deserve a relationship/marriage? Cause you don’t (the wages of our sin is death remember). And of course I fall in these areas of insecurity all the time, so I’m writing this for my own good too, there is no finger pointing to be had at EbbWorld. I couldn’t even write them if I hadn’t fallen in these areas myself at one point or another, even now. Just don’t toss words around like “love” and “forever” like an Aerobie (you know, those cool orange flying things that go tons farther than frisbees.), be careful and guard your heart honestly. No one’s perfect, no relationship is perfect, and no marriage is perfect (except Christ and his church that is). But we can prepare ourselves for whatever life (God) throws at us, be it a wife, 3 kids, and a dog named Spot, or, and you must allow for the or (because God is God and you are not), a life a singlehood, built optimally for serving the one that deserves praise. If some of my words, even though they probably drive most people up the wall, can save just one future marriage from divorce, than it is all worth it. Grace be with you all. |