The contestants, now a little worn out (especially Avril, who, apart from having no backside, has lost many of what little brain-cells she originally had, and has some serious nose-issues), return to their allocated spots at the center of the arena.
Now, as you know, there is a limit to the word "high self-esteem". If you go beyond the limit, you become conceited. We do not like conceited people. Ms. Rock Star Boiled Chicken is swamped in pomposity. She thinks she is God`s gift to the world, and she even thinks she can sing. She acts like Tony Hawk`s successor. Ms. Boiled Chicken`s ear goes flying across the stadium. Elmo cheers.
Badger is a disdainful cockroach.
"All my friends make fun of my ROCK STAR hairdo" he says. Oh please. Do us all a favour and go jump off Sydney Harbour Bridge. Badger`s ear also goes flying across the stadium. Avril`s first point is awarded. The high-school dropouts and undereducated brats from hell cheer.
The moral of this round: Do not become self-obsessed or arrogant. Arrogance results in loss of ears. Be warned.
Scoreboard: Busted - 3 Avril - 1
Round 4: Song content
Welcome back, cretins. Please give a warm welcome to our competitors. Now, for a live interview with Avril.
Maz: Avril, you look kind of, um, dead. Do you think you can last for another 2 rounds?
Avril: DUDE! Of course I fucking can. If those bois can do it, so can I! I`m a rock chick! I have girl power.
M: That was a rather feminist statement.
A: What`s feminist?
M: Never mind. You really don`t look good, Avril. Maybe we should postpone the rest of the match so that you can recover…….
A: NO! I mean, no, its okay. I`m totally 100% fine.
M: Avril, you`re eighteen. You have the IQ of a three year old. You are missing an ear, and you haven`t the slightest idea as to where your backside might be located. Please try to be realistic.
A: But that guy hit me!! And he didn`t even say sorry! I`m a girl. That sort of thing shouldn`t happen to girls. The boi should apologize. I don`t think he likes me very much.
M: Welcome to the real world.
Now I join Busted for another live interview.
Maz: You guys are kicking Avril`s ass at the moment. Are you confident about winning?
Elmo: Of course!! We have to win.
Eyebrows: Now, now, lads. Remain dignified. Remember the rules of sportsmanship.
Badger: Screw sportsmanship. James is right. We`re gonna win, innit?
Ey: ISN`T, Matthew. ISN`T. Ugh. You are absolutely putrid.
El: Bugger off.
Ey: WHAT?? HOW DARE Y-
M: Sorry to interrupt you, but I can`t help noticing that your eyebrows are still intact.
Ey: I know. Magnificent isn`t it?
M: Absolutely spiffing
El: *through gritted teeth* We`re GOING to WIN.
M: Of course you are.
B: James is right, Innit?
Ey: ISN`T
Now, back to the match. Avril the hypocrite stands on one side of the yellow line (they couldn`t afford a proper stadium so they used a netball court instead), and Busted the perverts stand on the other. If you want to know why Avril is a hypocrite, then listen to her songs, read her interviews, or simply just read my rants. They are informative enough. Avril`s remaining ear soars across the stadium, creating a spectacular display of blood.
If you wish to know why Busted are perverts, then listen to their songs, read their interviews, or listen very carefully to what I say next. Britney Spears and Miss. Mackenzie have done nothing so bad as to be the object of Busted`s desire. Neither have the Sugababes, apart from being the worst pop act since the Spice Girls, of course. Ok, so I`ve seen worse. Never fear, that is all irrelevant material. I understand that mindless adolescent children like these have feelings too. They may look ridiculous, but they have feelings, nonetheless. [Note to self: Try not to sound like a kindergarten teacher when talking about feelings] This is not, however, an excuse to sing about 33 year old women in underwear. Ouch. Avril has just kicked Eyebrows in the balls.
End of Round 4.
Scoreboard: Busted - 4 Avril - 2