On meaningful relationship <BGSOUND src="//www.oocities.org/waho047/desperado.mid"> Tsinoy in Manila's thoughts on relating with others

LINKS TO OTHER ENTRIES IN MY HOMEPAGE

HORSE SENSE

THE BOOK-SELLER

WAHOO INSPIRATIONAL SITE

One summer, we took our balikbayan (returning resident) uncle to Tagaytay Ridge Park. He had left the Philippines for the United States 20 years back. He has since then built a name for himself in the medical profession in Pennsylvania. As our car approached the parking area, several horsemen followed us, each one eager to offer a ride on their horses. One intrepid horseman got ahead of the pack. He managed to squeeze his horse close enough to our car. As my uncle got out of the car, the horseman eagerly shouted his services "Sir, kabayo kayo!" Startled, my uncle shouted back,"Kabayo ka rin!

SAME THING

THE BUTTERFLY SYMBOL

Random Thoughts on Relationships Feelings are everywhere -- be gentle. ~ J. Masai ~ Your emotions affect every cell in your body. Mind and body, mental and physical, are intertwined. ~ Thomas Tutko ~ The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one. ~ Joan Baez ~ The key to any good relationship, on-screen and off, is communication, respect, and I guess you have to like the way the other person smells -- and he smelled real nice. ~ Sandra Bullock ~ Random thoughts on relationships The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands. ~ Alexandria Penney ~ It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting. ~ Todd Ruthman ~ If you're in a relationship and you want to make it work, you have to be a little selfless at times. ~ Montel Williams ~ Assumptions are the termites of relationships. ~ Henry Winkler ~

(Notes on the nuances of the dialogue in Tagalog: The statement of the horseman, "Sir, kabayo kayo!" literally means "You look like a horse."  However, it is used here figuratively, i.e. "Would you like a ride on my horse?"  My uncle replied with annoyance - in jest, of course - to the literal meaning. He said, "You look like a horse yourself!")

Tsinoy says: Of course, my uncle's retort elicited laughter from everyone. Our laughter was prompted by the irony of it all. We all held him in high esteem. He graduated with honors from a prestigious school - Harvard. He even taught medicine in that university. In short, he's a self-made man - and a successful one from all accounts - only to be hurled an insult as "horse-faced";. This reminds me of a passage in Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching which goes

Truthful words are not beautiful, Beautiful words are not true. The wise man is not learned.  The learned man is not wise. The good are not many.  The many are not good.

The words we use to describe someone or something is a function of the mind. A wise man may be knowledgeable about the external traits of a person, or the technical details of things. However, our understanding will not be complete if we base it only on outward appearance. We may have acquired knowledge of the form, but not necessarily its function (form vs. substance). This is what Lao Tzu meant when he said that the learned is not wise. Herein lies the secret of getting into a meaningful  relationship. We need to take time simply to observe, to look at the relationship with tolerance and a quiet mind until we begin to see the deeper layers of the other's being. You'll be surprised. Your attitudes toward the other person will change.   So, the next time you meet someone, don't be quick to dismiss him or her as a dimwit, as he/she may be wiser than you in the ways of the world; or as a corrupt public official, as he/she may be more virtuous than you. The other person is more that the sum of his/her physical traits. That other person has a soul. And if we want to see the other's soul, we have to go beyond our judgements, intentions and expectations.  If you feel the urge to call someone horse-faced, do hold your tongue. He might just turn out to be someone whom you can turn for help unconditionally. He could be a caregiver throughout most of his life, just like my uncle.   Cheers.   Tsinoy

Stephen Covey on Relationship The most important ingredient that we put into a relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are.  And if our words and our actions come from a superficial human relations technique (the Personality Ethic) rather than from our own inner circle (the Character Ethic), others will sense that duplicity. We simply won't be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for an effective interdependence.

My Info:

Name:

Tsinoy in Manila

E-mail:

tsinoy999@hotmail.com