| Jamie was lost in the activity of playing the music she loved, singing like she'd never sung before. She wanted to drown completely in it, so she didn't have to think. She wanted to scream to the top of her lungs. She knew she was being so unfair to Taylor. She should let him go. But the thought of him being gone terrified her even more, so she was paralyzed. She couldn't make herself say what he wanted to hear. And she was NOT mistaken when she heard him say the words this time. She couldn't even say them in her head, and on top of that Jimmy's voice was a constant drone, an annoying buzz, in the back of her mind constantly unless she was in bed with Taylor. She pounded even harder on that drum kit, completely skipping the slower song they'd added in that spot to give the band a cool down period. Taylor groaned when he saw the expressions on the rest of the girls' faces, took a long pull off his beer and stood next to Zac. "She's about this close to losin' it, Tay. What the fuck are you doin' to her?" Zac asked. Taylor shot his brother a dirty look. "What do you mean by that?" he asked angrily. "Look at her.." Zac nodded in Jamie's direction as he took a pull off his own beer. "Something's eating her alive. And YOU are the only one that's spent alot of time with her lately.." Zac let his sentence trail off and decided not to say another word about it, when he saw the expression on Taylor's face. "So it's all my fault?" Taylor demanded angrily. "She won't tell me what's up Zac.." Taylor sighed heavily. "Sorry man." "It's cool." Zac said and looked up at Jamie. "Whatever it is, it makes her too intense. She's gonna kill the rest of the band." he chuckled. "Dude you should see if you can get her to take a break." he grinned widely at Taylor. "She rocks.." he chuckled again as taylor caught jamie's eye and held up his beer. She nodded and announced the band was going to break for a bit. much to the relief of the rest of the band. |
| "Hey, Jame?" Taylor called to Jamie as she strode up to the bar, wiping the sweat pouring from her face with a small white towel. "What?" she asked, breathless, as she waved at the bartender to bring her a beer. "You're pushing it kind of hard tonight.." he said cautiously. "Are you all right?" "What the fuck?" she asked angrily. "YOU of all people are asking me that? You should know... if you're not going to put everything into it why fucking BOTHER?" she took a long gulp of her beer and wiped her forehead again. Taylor groaned inwardly and tried to keep from saying anything else that would set her off. "I was just askin'. You're gonna kill the rest fo the band. Zac noticed that you're wearin' em out, that's all." he shrugged and took a pull off his beer. "Shit." she muttered as she looked at the rest of the girls, all wiping their foreheads and guzzling soda or water. "I get it..." she looked at Taylor with a slight apology in her eyes. "I'll take care of it.." she muttered and slammed out the back door. She leaned back against the wall she'd occupied the night before, and was taken back to Taylor's assault on her body. She took a deep breath and raked her hands through her sweaty hair. He IS everywhere, she though to herself, feeling her head swim and the panic well up. Get a grip, Jame...she told herself and took another deep breath, admonishing herself to get her butt back inside before Taylor followed her out here and caused her to lose her mind yet again. Taylor watched, interested as Jamie strode back in and nodded to the rest of the band. All followed her up on stage, passing glances bewteen each other wondering where Jamie was taking them next. Jamie sat down at the drumkit and grinned at the rest of the band, the gave Jade a wink. "Okay!!" she hollered into the mic, "We're gonna rock some more...anyone not all right with that?" she smiled a bright, sexy smile around the smoky bar as the crowd applauded and shouts of, "Just play..." or "Hell NO...YOU ROCK.." or "JAMIE!" made their way up to the stage. Jamie flashed Taylor another smile before she went back to talking to the crowd. "This one we JUST learned.." she said. "Yeah yeah.." she chuckled into her headset when the crowd groaned. "It's NOT mine, big deal...it's good. Let us know if we should keep it in the playlist..." she said, and tapped her sticks together over her head, then the band began to play. When you're feelin' all wrong in the back of your mind again, How does it feel when ya drop down everything's all the same Saccharine, caffeine, nicotine gum, yeah it tastes sweet but it's not for long and I just think you thought it would be When you're looking for truth on the cover of a magazine, how does it feel when you find out what you're not gonna be They give you your image and the things you believe open your eyes tell me what did you see and i just think you thought it surreal How does it feel when you're out on your own, and now it's too late to go home It's hard to be free when you're down on your knees take it easy till you make it alone Now you're a supermarket punk-rock television comedy out on the scene yeah i bit down now there's no hand to feed all the beautiful images lining your walls, pop radio screamin down the halls Now you think you've found something real when it's all about money and the things that you need live a big lie and they all believe Now I just find that somehow obscene Now how does it feel when you're out on your own, and now it's too late to go home it's hard to be free when you're down on your knees take it easy till you make it alone' when it's all been said before and all been done, take it easy till you make it alone lies weigh more than truth innocence looks good on you now everybody wants to know your name... |