Jesus Christ, the Nazarene, the Messiah, Lord and Saviour of Mankind. Prophet, healer, Son of God and all round nice guy. He healed the sick and fed the hungry. He told people to be a lot nicer to each other and they nailed him to a big cross for it, so obviously he wasn't big on reverse psychology. The Bible tells us that He will come back one day, to battle the forces of Evil and lead humanity into a new Age of peace. However the Bible forgot to mention such trivial matters as When and How To Spot The Messiah In A Crowd. Needless to say any bozo can claim to be Jesus Christ. Mental Hospitals are full of them, between the Napoleons and the People Who Thought Making Honest Money On The Internet Was Easy.
Many people think this Time Of The 2nd Coming is upon us now, that the Messiah has already been born again to Humanity and walks among us. It could be anyone, even the last person you suspect. It could be you.
Q1 - At school, your best subject was:
a) Physical Education
b) English
c) Woodworking
d) Biology, especially the disections
Q2 - Which best describes your early family situation?
a) nuclear family
b) extended family
c) 'blended' family
d) The Manson Family
Q3 - You biggest Phobia is?
a) heights
b) spiders
c) nails
d) Pure Light, that from which no Evil can withstand
Q4 - Your most identifying mark or scar is:
a) Appendix scar
b) Tattoo of the Union Jack
c) Stigmata
d) The Mark of the Beast
Q5 - When asked to perform a miracle, the first thing that comes to mind is:
a) Forming a permanent and non-destructive relationship with someone you meet in a nightclub
b) Being able to explain the 'plot' of an Australian Soap Opera to someone who hasn't watched at least 3 years of the show
c) Healing the Sick, Walking on Water, Water into Wine. The Classics.
d) Turning the Sun black and the sky the colour of blood.
Q6 - When people cry out "JESUS!" you:
a) look around to see what alarmed/excited them
b) frown at their blaspheming
c) wonder what the hell they want from you now
d) hiss and curse at them
Q7 - You consider the Church:
a) well meaning but at times archaic in it's attitudes
b) A tool of Control
c) Completely missing the point of everything you said
d) A den of fools and cowards worshipping a weak God
Q8 - Complete this sentence. "He left as the Lamb and returned as..."
a) The Lion
b) The Lamb
c) soon as possible
d) Lamb chops
Q9 - If you had your way, who would inherit the Earth?
a) The Just
b) The Holy
c) The Meek, clothears
d) ME
Q10 - Which football (or soccer) team do you support?
a) Liverpool
b) Leeds Utd
c) Spurs, like all good Jewish lads do
d) Arsenal. GO THE GUNNERS!!!
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