I have no idea if you're reading this or even will know its to you. I miss you more than I should and know that you don't want to know that or the fact I still care for you. I wish all the time that things were different and yet I'm glad they're not, because we'd probably just end up hurting each other all over again. I've been with others and yet at the moment when they should be all important I think of you. Your name comes to the forefront of my mind and I know that's not right so I say to myself and others that is only there because you were the first. I've fooled myself time and again with my style of thinking and I wonder if I'd think differently if we were just good friends now instead of occasional email pals. I wonder what you think and wether you'll ever tell me. I guess I just really miss you.
-Allie
