personalstories

Personal Stories

Emma, age 24

It seems as if since I had my first period, my health has been one long saga. I am hoping that by now I have had my fair share of health problems... This is a story with a “happy ending”, or perhaps more accurately a ‘happy continuing’, as I think this will always be a part of my life to some extent. I believe I have found the cure/answer/solution to dealing with my vulvodynia. The majority (99%) of my days are now pain free and I have been having pain free sex for nearly a year. So this is my story. I hope that it manages to give hope to the many women out there that are searching for their ‘cures’.

Since having my first period at age 12, they were always irregular, some up to a year apart. They were often very heavy and accompanied by crippling pain. I thought it was a normal part of being a woman and I hoped that I would get a more normal cycle as I grew older. I had a couple of thrush infections as a teenager, but was too shy to seek treatment and they went away by themselves. I first had sex when I was 18 and I began taking the contraceptive pill at the same time. I went to a doctor after a couple of months as I was experiencing pain during sex. This appointment was the beginning of a long trail of traipsing from doctor to doctor searching for an answer.   I found it hard to describe my pain. I had pain deep inside, but as well I felt so sore round the entrance of my vagina. The first doctor I saw suggested that I may have endometriosis. Initially the vulva pain wasn’t too bad, more ‘uncomfortable’. Then one night I had excruciating pain. After sex I thought I was going to faint from the searing, burning pain. It felt like someone had rubbed sandpaper inside my vagina. I was scared and my boyfriend was helpless as I shook with the pain and tried to sleep.

I knew that this pain could not be due to endo. Endo pain is far deeper, and I could distinguish the two types of pain I was getting. So I kept visiting doctors, looking for an answer. Doctors were confused and they told me there was nothing they could do. I think the fact that I had two distinct types of pain confused them. And I think it also led them to think that I was some hypochondriac with a deep seated some aversion to sex. As well as this disbelief of my pain, I was subjected to every STD test possible repeatedly, despite me telling them that I had had repeated tests and everything was clear. I felt that they didn’t believe that I was monogamous, or that I was naive to think that my boyfriend wouldn’t cheat on me. I found this frustrating, but there was little I could do. I was relying on the medical profession to find me an answer so I continued to be polite and accepting of their sometimes bizarre suggestions. One doctor diagnosed me with “a vagina that is too small” – his ‘cure’ was to have lots of baths and relax and use my fingers to stretch my vagina. As anyone with vulvodynia would understand, the thought of sticking my fingers inside my vagina, let alone STRETCHING the area, was a thought too painful to even contemplate! So on to the next doctor…

I moved to Wellington and broke up with my first partner. I stayed on the contraceptive pill. New city, new round of doctors… I was continually visiting my GP with various vaginal infections and numerous other health complaints.   I was getting very depressed and changed my pill to Femodene 28, hoping that my depression was something to do with that. My mental health felt better on this pill, but still I was plagued by repetitive thrush. My vagina was still red and inflamed and sore.

In early 1997 I had a laparoscopy and the endometriosis was confirmed, which explained my abdominal pains and various other problems. However it did not explain the pain that I now know is vulvodynia. In 1997 I had my first ‘abnormal smear’, which was followed up by a couple of other abnormal smears. I was put on the waiting list to have a colposcopy and a biopsy of my cervix.

My GP recommended that I go and see a dermatologist at Wellington Sexual Health – Dr. John Adams. I duly traipsed along, preparing myself for another round of STD tests and questions regarding my promiscuity. An amusing idea when the thought of sex made me cringe! Dr Adams examined me and after a few minutes he said to me simply “you have vestibulitis” . I had never heard of this term, so he talked me through what it was. Although not a very promising diagnosis (no one knows the cause, there is no guaranteed cure…), I was so happy to have a name for this horrible thing. I went home from his clinic in a daze and sat down and cried and cried and cried. Not so much from sadness, but from relief that there was a name for this pain and having a name for something makes it ‘real’.

     click here to continue Emma's story...