July 6th 2000-----4:13 a.m
Last week I took a big step.
I finally called the doctor and made an appointment to get help with my depression. I also started acknowledging to some people I feel comfortable with that I do feel depressed, I think just getting together the strength to make that phone call, and set up an appointment made a big difference in my outlook.
Monday after work I will be visiting the mental health center (gosh, that sounds so awful and clinical doesn't it?) For my first appointment with a therapist. I guess it will mainly be screening and that sort of thing. But I think I've been depressed for years, I'm ready to get help, to feel good again, to start dealing with all the insecurities and crazy life decisions which have contributed to my not getting help sooner, and to making my life a chaotic netherworld.
I have discovered the "therapy" of creating web pages, and recently tackled learning HTML. So I plan to keep an on-line journal of my therapy, recovery (and hopefully not to many) setbacks.