shane's story
shane's story - chapter one
Shane felt his whole body and soul floating. He couldn’t get enough of the beauty of the 20-year-old girl in front of him. Her shyness so charming and her smile so bright and the spark in her eyes when he teased her and she laughed; he just couldn’t get enough. And she knew it!
He looked into her deep brown eyes. Her beauty was stunning. Half Lebanese, half Danish. Only her deep brown eyes and her black eyelashes and brows revealed the Arab blood in her. Maybe also her natural curls. But they were corn blonde and soft like a Scandinavian. The same blonde colour as Nicky's angel hair. Shane reached out and touched her cheek, and her smile faded, her eyes turned serious.
Slowly Shane bent his head to kiss her. Soft and sweet. She accepted his approach, though it meant a relationship in secrecy. He could not risk breaking his contract by showing a girlfriend in public.
8 months later:
"Nana, don’t go." Shane reached out for her but she slipped away. His heart was pounding. "NANA!" he cried out after her. He looked around but couldn’t see her. He started searching. Every time he entered a room he saw the end of her dress fluttering after her through the door to the next room.
"NANA!" he cried again. He ran faster and sometimes it felt like he was close to catching her, but his hand didn’t touch her. He lost track of her. "Nana?" He slowed down, walked from room to room - but no Nana. He felt a wave of sadness roll into his soul.
Just as he was about to sit down and cry his despair out, he heard a baby cry, and his need to fight came alive again. He followed the sound, and in one of the rooms he came into, was and empty cradle. Only a slight rocking and a slight embrasure in the pillow indicated that a baby had slept there.
"Nana?" he asked low. There was no response. A soft golden light was shining from the next room and he felt a solemn peace inside him. He knew instinctively that he would find Nana in there. He went nearer the room with slow and silent steps.
There she was. Standing by the window, bathed in the golden light. Her back was turned against him, and he couldn't see her hair because of the white scarf that was covering her hair and shoulders. "Nana, I love you." he whispered, hoping she would hear him.
Nana turned around, and in her arms she was holding a new-born and naked sleeping baby. Shane couldn’t see it, but he knew it was a boy. "Don’t come in," Nana warned him in a low and strange voice he had never heard before. "But I love you." Shane took one step in and Nana let go of the baby, who fell and fell and Shane could only watch, but not do a thing. The baby hit the floor and splintered into thousand pieces of glass.
"NO" Shane sat up in his bed; he was totally soaked in sweat. And it felt salty in his mouth. He reached out and turned on the bed light. He wiped his face and sniffled. The dream had made him cry. He looked to the side, Nana’s side of the bed. It was empty. Of course it was empty. It had been for the past week. Ever since she told him she was pregnant and wasn’t ready to have a baby. Shane had tried to convince her that it would be okay, but she had got quite angry. She didn’t want to be a mum. Not yet. And especially not the way they had to keep their relationship a secret. That message had been like getting a bucket of cold water thrown in the face. She had left in anger, back to her own flat. Shane had called her so many times and left so many messages on her answering machine. She hadn’t replied to any of them.
Shane left his bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. It was only 3 am, but he wanted to go to her flat. She had to talk to him before she went out and had anything done.
There was absolutely no traffic in the street apart from Shane’s car. He didn’t expect Nana to let him in, but he had decided to sit on the stairs until she had to leave in the morning. He was quite surprised to see the lights on in her sitting room. Maybe she wasn’t sleeping? Maybe she had just forgot to turn it off. No, she never forgot that; he was the one to forget to turn off the lights.
He took the chance and rang her doorbell. His heart was pounding. He heard light footsteps on the other side of the door. He knew she could and would see him through the door-spy. He heard her fondle with the safety chain and unlock the door, and then she opened the door slowly.
"Hi, Shane...I had a feeling you would come." Her beauty and her obvious unhappiness overwhelmed him. "Can we talk about all this?" he asked hoarse. A tear found his eyes, and Nana nodded.
She opened the door and he went in. He only stood there in her hall, feeling lost, while she locked the door safely. "Sure nobody saw you come?" she asked a bit dryly. "I don’t care, Nana. All I care about is you. And I’m tired of hiding." she looked at him without believing him. "Please don’t look at me like that, Nana."
She took her eyes away and walked past him. "Come in," she said. "Want some tea or coffee?" "Tea, thanks!" He hung his jacket on the rack, took off his shoes and followed her into the kitchen. "How come you’re up now?" Shane asked and looked concerned and investigating at her. "I’m not sleeping well, so I stay up till I fall asleep on the sofa." "You’ve gotta take care of yourself, Nana." He reached out and touched her shoulder but she pulled away. "Don’t, I’m fine."
Shane nodded. "I hadn’t expected you to let me in." Nana smiled a little. "I’ve missed you. And I wanted to talk." Shane nodded. Couldn’t work out if that was good or bad. "Where do you wanna sit?" Nana asked. Shane looked a bit puzzled. What did she mean by that? "In the kitchen or in the sitting room?" Oh, so that was what she meant! He took his tea and nodded towards her sitting room.
"Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?" they had sat down on her sofa, close, but without touching. "How have you been?" Nana asked quietly. Shane slipped a short sarcastic laugh. "How do you think I’ve been, Nana? Huh? I’ve been miserable...I miss you." He stopped cause he felt it sounded like he was angry, but he wasn’t. Nana’s eyes filled with tears.
"When is your appointment at the hospital?" he then asked softly and sipped a bit of his tea. "Monday," she whispered, then she started to sob. Shane reached a hand out for her. "Nana, sweetie." "I can’t do it, Shane. I can’t do it."
Shane moved closer to her and held her tight. "It’s okay, Nana. We can handle it, you and I, together. You won’t be alone." Nana just sobbed. She had had such a troubled week. She was not ready at all to be a mum, but she just couldn’t make herself kill a baby. And she loved Shane, was so in love with him, but with a baby she couldn’t stay secret with him. So either they had to end, or they had to go public.
Shane stroke her back gently up and down to comfort her. Little by little she calmed down. "Do you think you’d be ready to come with me to a public thing tomorrow?" Shane asked silently and watched her closely. "Is it the Fun games in the park?" She looked up at him. "No, we were pulled out of that one. It’s the Christmas opening of the new toy store in Market Street. We were asked to come and cut the ribbon and sing a couple of songs. Do ya wanna come? Please?" He looked pleading at her.
"When should I be there?" "You’ll get dressed, then we go to my place so I can get dressed, then we go there together. Hand in hand. As the couple we are." Nana looked at him with her big brown eyes. "Are you serious?" Shane nodded and smiled, then they kissed. Sweet and soft. They were going to show the world that they loved each other - and they were having a baby.
