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11/28/02 My newest bitch ideal is about age. What is the deal with some people against the young generation and what's up with some people against the older generation. There was this woman in this chatroom named "ladyofthelake", I'm not sure what was wrong with her, but she was out to prove all other wrong. First of all, I don't like the fact that the Pilgrims came to America to seek religious freedom, yet they turn on others who don't take part in their beliefs. Purely hypocritical. I guess lady's ancestor's were on the Mayflower cause she seemed the snap from there. She asked me who Winthrop and Bradstreet were, and I told her about the Winthrop Papers and I told her Bradstreet was a poet. To my surprise, Miss Swamp thing said Anne Bradstreet isn't a poet. Anyways, ladyofthelake went on for a while doing her usually ageistic bickering. She's old and she's not used to children...and Jesus hates her. 12/15/02 I can't believe the crap I've been through in the past 17 or whatever days. There's a guy named Russell, he's just a very beautiful male that I wish I could get to know better. He's just the most occuring image in my mind. Well, I guess he's not the bad crap over the past days. The bad stuff in my life is that I've been going through alot of issues with my mind. Nobody really appreciates how I feel sometimes. It's weird. I spent 2 days out of school to clean my mind and to clean my body, it felt really good, yet really strange. 12/18/02 Issues!!!!!!!!! ISSUES!!! DRAMA! Why are some gay people such flamers and drama queens. I've tried to keep myself away from the stereotypical prepster fag that's on every runway in New York, I try to make an unique image for myself instead of a pop glamour icon. It never really occured to me how pathetic some of the gay population in my area is. Shouldn't a group of gay people be united instead of fighting against each other, I'm happy right now that I've kept myself away from relationships with some people. Honestly, I'm trying to concentrate on one person right now and he's a very intelligent person, who is not Russell, but equally if not more attractive then him. Some people are very insecure as I found out yesterday in class. I stated that in true essence all people are bisexual. We classify ourselves as gay or straight just to identify how far we go with others, REALLY, who gives a fuck. In the end everybody is going to fantasize or think about the other sex in a certain way that isn't kosher. After today, I could have committed suicide if I felt like it, for some fucked up reason I felt the need to live. *FART* |
| 12/25/02 TODAY IS CHRISTMAS DAY!!!! MERRY BIRTH OF A MARTYR CELEBRATION DAY!!!! Don't you love it when you get that tingling feeling inside cause you think that a person was born today and committed suicide in the name of his father JUST FOR YOU!!! Satan couldn't be prouder..... <-----------------I don't people are wondering what this is, but it means alot to me. When somebody tells me things like that I know they are sincere about it and I'm glad he said that. I think that was the best Christmas present I could have got today. |
| Besides today being Christmas, I would say that people are humans and people will like others and that it shouldn't matter what race or age that person is. LOVE should matter. Let your motherfucking love shine! Today is such a beautiful day, it's all fucked up outside and it might even snow on SATURDAY! POST WHITE CHRISTMAS! It sounds like a Neo-Nazi Christmas After-Party to me! |
| A SUMMARY OF CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!!! My family has only argued about 5 times this time. WAIT WAIT...that has to be a record. I wake up at 8 something and took a shower and I go to the Christmas tree and they have already started opening gifts *SCREW YOU GUYS I'm GOING HOME...wait* . They didn't call me, they just didn't give a fuck. Next they don't tell me when they're going to my dad's mom's house, I have my pajamas on and I have to get ready and my dad starts bitching me out for taking 10 minutes, *FUCK HIM* . Christmas DINNER!, how grand, I got the table all dainty and set up. I had candles on the table and had it lightly lit and my older brother bust up in and turns the lights on. Of course with my hard work in mind say "You guys are really making this the worst Christmas I ever had and really I wish you guys would leave me alone and let me have a good time. My older brother goes and gets pissy and goes the his room *EMO TEAR* and my mom goes to see what's wrong with him and my brother is pissed and my mom moves his place mat over to where my dad and mom are. There's 4 people at the table and 3 of them were closely placed together, guess who was all by himself in the corner?!?! ME! I had my own corner half! |
| 12/29/02 If I am to create a style, which is my own style, succession is of order and is needed. Not giving into the popular clothes at American Eagle and Abercrombie and Fitch. I mustn't let them use my money for brainwashing attributions. Tommy Hilfiger producing vibes of Red, White, and Blue producing patriotism. May the real patriotic colors be true to the dead and black back shadow of the living. Those hypocrites, they don't understand what Goth is about, they think it's a bunch of dead wannabes in make up tainted with white. They don't see the expression, their communist built conformity made visor is in the way. So sad, so sad, not in a good way. |
| if I am to define what a prep is I would define it as a person, he/she/both, as somebody who picks on teases another individual/group fo rbeing different. Preps try to fund one mental idea, one similar religon, and one style. What's wrong with a prep, Raya, asked me? Preps descrimate and hate otehrs just because wealth and material prosperity is in their heart. I can't stand fake people, people who wear Tommy and Polo, then think they're suddenly better then me. I'm a Goth and I'm equal if not better then those people. I'm true to myself, true to my opinion, and true to my heart. So RAYA--I do think I'm openminded and you need to spend a day in my "foolish shoes", see what I have to deal with and why I think like I DO. I certainly don't do it to be glamourous, I do it because that's how I am. |
| I was at bolt.com the otehr day and they have band reviews and album reviews. Tehre was alot do different ones. I voted, reviewed, commented on Good Charlotte's Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous; Avril Lavigne's Let Go; and Coal Chamebr's Dark Days. People make the strangest comments. This gone girl said Good Charlotte is the best PUNK band ever...WHAT really pissed me off is that somebody criticized Good Charlotte for wearing Goth, but play light rock. I mean what the fuck?? GOTH IS A BRANCH OFF OF PUNK. AVRIL LAVIGNE IS NOT PUNK, SHE's ROCK AT BEST. |
| 1/5/02 *I met a boy - cute as could be* Grease lightning baby! I don't know what to feel rightnow. It's like having an erection from emotion, not action. When a person can do that, it must be something. He knows who he is! |
| There's a big difference between evil and rightful dark intent - I'm somebody who likes the evil -imps, demons, underworld entities, but these evils are a part of the darkside. To me everything has a good side. Even Satan is nice :-). But I don't put these beings into effect, but I study them. I use the darkside alot also. Death, Justice, Decay, REbirth Goddesses and Gods. There's alot out there and I don't want to spend it studying one set doctrine of Wicca. I want to study Satanism, Voodoo, Santeria, Curses, Hexes, Bindings, Dianic Tradition, Luciferianism. There's alot of different stuff out there. |
| Generation X? What exactly is wrong with this generation? WE don't wan tto smoke cigarettes, we don't wan tto take part in pregnancy, we don't want to get married. Is this the dead generation? The Generation of Mortan Dead. Instead of a decade of trends, we go through a year of this and that, we hear what we choose, we act as we please. |
| 1/11/02 I have never wanted to die this badly in my life. I'm sick of living in this world. Nobody knows how I feel. Nobody wants to know my story. Nobody wants to help me out. I'm forcefed all this self-help bullshit that I have been trying for the past 7 years and now I'm sick of putting myself through this pain, I just want to get all of the agony away from me. I'm sick of laughing to cover up the pain, I'm sick of acting like I'm fine. I'm not fine, I'm not okay. I'm miserable and my parents don't care, they think it's a phase and I'll get over it. 7 YEARS? |
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| Rain Element says: Your cute as can be Rain Element says: Your real. You aren't like the other gay people. Trust me when you are old enough to the gay clubs you will see how nasty and cliqueish it is Rain Element says: Stay the way you are don't let the gay people in this state get you down or try to change you into some Sugarsweet sex symbol Rain Element says: Trust me. I have been there and done all that...and the shit that goes with it Rain Element says: Drugs...sex...the whole 9 yards I am sounding like a precher. |