My mouth fell open and my muscles tensed as the boy spat those terrible words. I'd heard them before, said joikingly of course, but he had meant them. The exact phrase was far too bad for me to decently repeat in any way. I was very offended, to say the least, and it is not easy to offend me. I shot the boy the most vicious glare I could muster. My hand clasped a nonexistent sword out of habit, and I was ready to strike. I'd completely forgotten about Robert, with whom I'd just ben speaking and was standing next to me.
He stepped forward, as if to guard me from some vile creature. His stance was proud, strong. An image of a bold knight in shining armor flickered before my eyes for a moment. "Excuse me," Robert said firmly to the boy. "Would you care to repeat that, sir?" The statement was certainly not a real question; it was apoint as sharp as any well-placed spear.
"It's none of your," and here the boy swore, "business. I wasn't talking to you, you--" His mouth formed around yet another string of profanity, but it didn't get out.
"You, sir," said Robert, solid and firm like a grying pan and just as inflamed, "have questioned a fair lady's honor, so to speak, and I shall defend her." He enunciated the word "sir" very carefully, not spitting it but making it very clear that his politeness was an insult on the boy. "I demand satisfaction." He pulled off one of his black gloves intended for the cold outside and threw it dramatically on the floor in front of him. At this point, a few people had already begun watching the confrontation interestedly. It was an entertaining diversion from their lockers.
I raised my hand to my mouth in horror. I didn't think that anyone today would even think of challenging someone with a glove, much less do it and mean it. Meanwhile, the boy only stared at the glove, confused. "What the f--" he began.
"A duel," Robert clarified, sharply cutting him off before he could offend any further. "A challenge of Honor. For the lady in question. Will you take the challenge or shall you be named a coward henceforth? Naturally, choice of weapon is yours and you may have a second. I shall take you single-handedly."
"But, Robert," I protested in teh local silence. Sure, the noise of the hallway still persisted, but it seemed to dim in our immediate area.
"Yes, my lady?" Robert said, politely turning to face me.
"I can't let you do this. Either of you. You could get kicked out of everything, if not school itself! Both of you!" I said.
"You mean you defend this scoundrel in some way, my lady?" Robert asked, shocked. Normally, I encouraged on-the-edge behavior.
"Well, not exatly. I defend all who need it, but... I was just expressing concern for you" I explained hastily.
"Well, then. I fail to see the problem here," Robert said.
"But isn't dueling illegal? I mean, like killing people an dstuff over matters of honor and such? I thought they banned it long ago, didn't they?"
"Never fear. I'll not kill him this time. I promie, and my word is my bind," he replied sweetly.
"Then I'll be your second."
"My lady, you cannot," Robert said higly, clearly taken aback. "You are the one being defended.
"well, I don't see why I can't be your second anyway."
"I could not let you get involved anymore than you are," he replied with a charming smile.
"That's not possible," I muttered to myself with sarcasm.
Robert turned back to the boy. "Well," he asked, "is my challenge accepted?" His tone had drastically changed from sugarcoated chivalry to ice-coated scythe.
"I guess...." the boy said slowly, clueless as to what he was getting into.
"Good. Then you do have some honor. Tomorrow at dawn. You may say where."
"Umm..." I said. Dawn's not good for me, and I really do have to be there, you know. How about sunset today?"
"Sunset it is, tehn," Robert agreed, making a small, subtle bow toward me with and almost vampire-like smile, it was so filled with scheming. Then he said to the boy, "Sunset today, not dawn. And where would you like to face me? May I recommend the playground two blocks from here? It's an excellent fighitng ground with many advantages even to an amateur."
"Sure..."
"Then it is set. I shall see you tonight on the field of honor, then sir."
The boy nodded. I raised my hand a tad, to eye level and spoke. "I shall provide the choice of weapons," I said. "We'll use practice weapons, so no one is hurt. I'll explain the rules tomorrow." A puzzled look came across the boy's face. "Do not worry," I said to clear things up, "there will be a good choice. Something will appeal to you."
The boy took his leave, muttering something best not repeated under his breath. "And you'd better show, sir!" Robert called after him. "If you do not, I shall find you soon enought!" Robert turned his attention to me again. "My lady," he said gallantly, "you shall be avenged."
"Robert, you embarrassed me. All that 'my lady' stuff is a bit overboard, isn't it?" I said quickly. Really, it wasn't that embarrassing. It was like being told that you are pretty. It made me feel funny because I wasn't really used to that yet and I never took compliments well anyway.
"My deepest apoogies, my lady," he said, taking my hand as if to kiss it. But he did not. That, at least was a comfort. There was that about Robert. He was always chivalrous, especially toward me. It wasn't that I was his girlfriend, or anything, because I wasn't, but I was teh only girl who really understood it. I usually tolerated the game of medieval knight and lady that was our life, but this time it was going too far. Now egveryone was going to expect us to go out, after that show of defense. I pulled my hand away quickly upon his gentle release. "I do trust that you will be there to encouarage me, however, will you not? And a token perhaps," he continued.
"Oh, of course," I replied casually. I pulled my hand-embroidered handkerchief from my pocket. I'd carefully black-worked the design, even though it had taken only a day to finish. It had been wasshed the night before and my nose wasn't runy at all that day, so it was spotless for once. "Here," I said. "To tie to your helmet, excepting that you shan't have one. It's the thought that counts, isn't it?" Now I began forming plans in my head for the duel.
He took it gingerly and sniffed it slowly. "I shall treasure it. It shall be my inspiration in battle," he said, and stuffed it in his sleeve. I rolled my eyes. He really was sweet, but sweetness is something you have to get used to and I tended to disdain it, personally. We began to walk toward our next class. Suddenly, Robert exclaimed, "My Glove! I left it on the ground." He darted back to retrieve it. "Mom'll kill me if I lose it!" I stifled a laugh. The image of a perfect knight being punished by his mother was almost too funny. As he caught up with me, we continued toward the classroom.
I was trying not to look at anyone. I knew they were laughing at us. I thought I heard snatches of conversation about "my lady" but I tried to block them out. I tried to focus on the flickering candle of pride that I held (in myleft hand; the imaginary sword was back in my right) and tried to use its flame to light larger fires. That I had a friend bold enough (or delusional enough) to stand up for me like that was great, though I'd have taken a more modern and, above all, subtle approach to it. I coudn't help but notice the pride and scheming that lit up Robert's face and straightened his spine. He walked tall and proud, his dark cloak (he didn't use a real coat if he could avoic it) accenting every strong movement.
The rest of the day was filled with silent dread as well as mockery. Of course, no one dared say anything remotely mean to me while they thought Robert was listening, but I couldn't be with him all day. The despicable boys who always asked about my personal life and made fun of everything I did had a ball calling me "my lady" with a terrible sneer that only made them sound more immature than they looked. I tried to keep my quiet while the candels of gossip and rumor were far more effective than my little flickering pride in starting bonfires.
Of course I had to tell my parents that I was going to the playground around sunset with my practice weapons. I tossed out a random time in the evening and fumbled for an excuse. "I arranged to practice with Robert again," I said quickly when my mother pressed me. She'd known from teh start about my training with carious close-combat weapons with Robert. She'd actually encouraged it, saing that it would keep me fit and maybe help my social life. Those were the reasons I used now and she nodded consent. At least I hadn't completely lied. That wouldn've felt too bad, but I also didn't want to tell the truth. I was still embarrassed by it.
Sunset was coming quickly. Iwas practicing some moves against a tree and guarding my back from the merry-go-round when Robert came to the playground. He smiled when he saw me, and the weapons I had laid out on a picnic table, and came toward me. I sheathed the wooden rapier in my hand (not much of a sheath, really, just a belt with two loops to hold any of my wooden swords) and stepped forward to greet him. I smiled half-heartedly back as he took my hand and lightly kissed it mid-bow, saying, "My lady..." He was wearing his cloak and black gloves and had on his finest sword-fighting outfit--the one he fought best in and was most stylish. It was a loose collared shirt, dark and dark pants, not too looe as to get caught on anything but not so tight as to constrict his agility. The handkerchief I'd given him was tucked neatly into his sword belt that was made much like mine. His black dueling gloves seemed to finalize the ensemble. However, from a pocket in his cloak he produced black leather arm braces, simple in design with the laces as the only decoration besides the line that ran around the edge. He grinned. "I sall certainly be victorious," he said. "I come prepared, my lady."
Again, I rolled my eyes. "Go get a blade," I told him. "I'm not going to let you have all the fun. I want to practice."
"But that would not be fair to my opponent, if I were to practice first, would it?" he asked.
"Don't worry, if he gets here, I can take you both at once. Just for fun."
"But then we shall both be worn out, and I more than him, my lady," Robert protested weakly.
"It'll make for a shorter fight then. And more even as well. Just go get the blade, all right?" I said.
He bowed slightly and jogged the short distance to the picnic table. I followed, runing. I passed him halfway there and reached the table before he did. From teh duffel I'd used to tote the practice sets, which were mine, I produced a dark blue medieval-looking fown. "How's this for 'my lady'?" I asked sharply, holding it up to myself. Robert looked up from the wooden weapons and his eyes widened.
"Nice," he said slowly He really was impressed.
"Yep. And the best bit is, I can just slip it on," I said, pulling it over my head, "pull out my shirt from under it," I did so, "and, voila! I'm the perfect damsel in distress!"
"You're going to practice in that?" he asked.
I nodded. "Mm-hm," I said. "I can do anything in a dress." I turned back to the duffel and pulled out my own cloak. "Warmth," I added and put it on. Then I took out my leather dueling gloves and put them on. "I'm ready. Let's go." He quickly selected a blade and pulled it off of the table with a flourish. I drew my own blade in a large swing, hitting his aside. Thus we began our warm-up and soon our cloaks were flying all around us.
It wasn't long before the sun was resting on the horizon with a tiny bit just below it and color radiating out from it. The boy whom Robert had challenged trudged onto the playground. "Well, this is just stupid," he said when he was in earshot. We stopped and glared at him. "What's with the [profanity] dress, anyway? You two are such stupid nerds. Grow up. It looks [swearing] stupid, you know."
Robert was teh swiftest to moe. Even though the round wooden fencing sword (made of a carved dowel) had a ball on the end, he still used it to make a very sharp point. He stepped forward and put the point of the sword at the boy's throat. "You shall insult my lady no more," he said in a low voice.
I stood on Robert's right, my own blade at the boy's heart. "Don't insult the dress," I hissed. "And no more profanity. I don't like it."
"I am so out of here, nerds." The boy took a step to walk but Robert reached out and restrained him until he conceded.
I lowered my sword, then said in a far more cheerful voice, "Come, I must teach you the rules. There aren't too many, and we certainly can't decide the outcome without them. We are playing by the same rules that Robert and I always practice with. It makes the fight very swift.' Robert lowered his blade and stepped aside. "Basically, if Robert makes a swing that would render your right arm useless with a real blade, then you may not use your right arm for the rest of the duel. Is that clear?" the boy glanced at Robert then nodded. "The duel is won when someone is either at the other's mercy--he can do nothing--or when a fatal move, were we using real blades, is made, such as a severe gut wound or a chopped off head. Is that clear?" The boy nodded.
"Now you may choose the weapons, sir," Robert said, his voice thick with disdain. He strode over to the weapons and the boy and I followed. Robert made a grand sweep with his hand over the weapons to indicate the boy's options. The boy peered at the things uncertainly. Robert gazed almost longingly--certainly hopefully--at the rapier that remained on the table; I had the other one. The boy followed his gaze and considered the blade. I was sure that he was thinking that there would be some advantage to any blade that Robert seemed to like. He pointed at it wordlessly.
I nodded. "Then you'll want this one,' I said, handing my rapier to the boy. "It's built a little better than the other, and you'll need any advantage you can get. And take my gloves. They'll protect your hands, and you'll need that too."
Robert shot me a cold glance that said "Oh, thanks. Now you tell me, and you give it to him?" and picked up the blade's mate, leaving the smallsword that he'd been holding on the table. "Rapiers it is then! I do hope you fence well. This won't be the hacking and spinning int he movies.
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