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NME has at least 100 pictures of the Libertines per week in their gossip column, usually these pictures are of Mr Peter Doherty or Mr Carlos Barat.
But even NME can't print EVERY picture taken of the Libertines out and about, as there are, quite simply, millions taken per DAY, let alone per week!
So here, on this website, we aim to fill in a few little gaps, to tell you a little bit more about what the band have been up to every week.
Due to the sheer amount of photos taken, however, we have decided to concentrate only on one member, Peter Doherty. He seems to get photographed the most. Which is ace.
Be educated :
So what has Peter been up to this week?
Perhaps the question should be... what HASN'T Peter been up to this week?
Have a lookie here:
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This week we have a total *world exclusive* on our site.
Our beavering little reporters managed to capture this exclusive footage of Peter and his anonymous Valentines date at an undisclosed location ON FILM. Not only do we clearly see Peter meet the young lady, we exclusivey get to see what appear to be Peter's real arms and hair. This confirms reports that Peter Doherty is in fact a being from the planet Splugennhopper. His secret characteristics match those of other inhabitants of Splugennhopper - spikey green hair and pointed fingers. We will try to bring you more on these allegations as and when we uncover them.
Of the mystery lady, Peter has allegedly been quoted as saying, "Yeah, me and the anonymous young lady are very much in love. She makes a scrumdiddlyumptious apple pie y'know. 'Ere, dya wanna taste? She baked one up a couple minutes back. (on taking a large bite of a slice) Mmmmmm, bleedin' gorgeous!"
We can now exclusively reveal that, before Blur drafted in that bloke who used to be in The Verve they were ready to welcome Peter Doherty into the band as their new guitarist, as shown in this picture. However things did not go smoothly for the new line-up and Peter was booted out. It's believed this very photo shoot was the cause for his departure. He was told he would need to wear a baseball cap. When he argued that it was against his religion to ever wear a "bleedin' yankee" baseball cap he was threatened with a big fat black eye by Blur's singer Damon Albarn. An argument ensued, with a compromise eventually being decided, that Peter would wear the cap on his knee instead. After this Damon despised Peter, as you can see by the dirty look he's giving him in our exclusive photo. Peter soon received a letter dismissing him from the band, claiming Peter was "sadly too London" for the new look, world-music loving Blur. Peter sent back a message telling Damon to "go screw, I always hated your poncey band anyway. You c*nt!"
In our next photo we can exclusively reveal that Oasis drummer Alan White left Oasis for a brief period. After being thrown out of Blur Peter decided the best revenge against "that Allbran twat" would be to join their arch-rival band. This didn't last for long as Liam soon found out Peter couldn't actually play drums, and he gave him a right hiding when Noel suggested that Peter maybe take over Oasis' vocals because Liam sang like a wuss. After seeing that the band would fall apart without him Alan White decided to rejoin the band and the split has never been spoken of since.
Finally... our team were asked to unearth photos of Pete onstage with singer Eleanor Rigby performing her song 'Love On The Line'. Our people searched for pictures of the two of them together, to no avail. Until we finally stumbled across this gem!
Peter Doherty never took to the stage with Eleanor Rigby, Peter Doherty actually WAS Eleanor Rigby! This exclusive photo shows Eleanor before the make-up artist arrived, she is clearly Pete Doherty! This has lead people to ask, was the early Libertines song 'Love On The Dole' in fact the exact same song as Eleanor Rigby's 'Love On The Phone'. If so god knows how many copyright infringements have been breached. We asked our lawyers what would happen if this turned out to be the case. They told us "If the two songs are in fact the same then the courts would probably decide to give Peter detention whilst wearing Mickey Mouse ears, reciting the alphabet backwards swallowing a neverending glass of milk. If they're feeling particularly cruel they might ask to him write 100 lines as well, on paper made out of water... using invisible ink... with the lights off... and... blindfolded... and they'd put bits of cut up onion on his nose to make him cry!"
That's all for now. Sorry for the lack of new content with this update. We'll try to find even more photos next time.
If you're looking for a photo that we featured in the past, or just wanna have a little look at what Peter has been up to in the past few weeks click below.
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Make sure you come back again in the near future as the site will be updated again sometime.
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