First it was a quiet word or two from a "deacon or elder" of the congregation after services, then if your offering didn't meet their expectations, a member of the Ladies Auxiliary would drop by just about supper time to inquire if there was something wrong. She noticed that while it was her turn to count and secure the offering for deposit that she hadn't seen your tithe in the plate for some time. If that didn't loosen the purse strings then the Pastor himself came for a visit to shame your pockets open.
Ten percent. That was all they asked, a modest ten percent of your annual income. You could tithe. You know: salvation on the installment plan. Why, instead of buying that second-hand car so you could drive to work, you could ride the bus and give what you saved to the church. Better yet you could walk to work saving more, therefore give the church more. The exercise would do you good! The solitude during your walk would give you time to ponder the Miracles of the Lord. See? Look how everybody is happy!
Then there was the miracle of radio. What a blessing! Holy Joe could reach a hundred times the suckers…I mean uh…lost souls than he could by being confined to a small backwoods tinderbox church or revival tent. "You know that we can't do "The Lord's" work unless you send us your contribution, because there is just too much to save in a world filled with sin."
With the advent of television, along came the Modern Crusades. The day began and ended with a devotional of some sort staring back at you from the tube, but then some slick operator realized that instead of regional salvation, they could broadcast the Holy Ghost from coast to coast. "Just put your hands upon the television set dear, and send in your ten dollars." The skinny man in the mohair suit sporting a pompadour would smile at you with gleaming teeth as he put the touch on you to feed all of those poor little orphans in Gazazz Gazork Central America. Images of dirty little faces with hungry eyes haunted you from the picture tube until you pried open your wallet. Most people didn't notice that the same children were showing up on the screen during the pleas of several chosen mouth pieces of "The Lord".
Then as in any Crusade, there had to be a cause, a reason to fight; and there were plenty to choose from. Alcohol, sex, loose women, rock and roll, gambling, juvenile delinquents, pornography, and vile literature.
Then of course there were the Godless Liberals, those Heathens! No God fearing, Red Blooded American would tolerate someone who had a different way of looking at the world. Not that is was either right or wrong, but if someone said something against the church or acted in anyway outside of its strict taboos, it was the kiss of death. You were damned for eternity, unless you repented and dropped a "C" note in the collection plate the next time you came to church. Funny how quickly all is forgiven.
Several years ago, I took a job selling fire alarms and home security systems. During our orientation and training, the sales manager went through his pitch. In a few short minutes I thought that I was back in a tent revival instead of a sales office. With a voice that shook the building's foundation, the old pro had all of us trainees instilled with the horror of fire and bodily harm. The man who hired us said that we weren't there to sell alarms. We were there to sell fear.
That's what they do, boys and girls, these over-blown pompous self righteous windbags sell fear. The fear that if you don't do exactly as they say and fill their coffers; you were going directly to Hell and there was nothing that you or they could do to stop it until you fall into lock step with the faithful.
Never mind the Limousines, mansions, luxurious surroundings and opulent lifestyles that these anointed disciples had adopted, we were supposed to be fighting the wages of sin and ministering to the needy. I wonder if the orphans in Gazazz Gazork really needed that extra roller coaster or two?
Does it really require a Towncar for a television preacher to cruise the streets looking for trouble or can you find it from a Taurus just the same? Is a simple bungalow enough to live in or does the last wing constructed on your mansion seem a little confining since the congregation learned that you have squandered their hard earned donations?
He has money so he must be a good man! Look at that poor man over there. He can't be close to God. See how poor he looks! Ahem!
Read On... |
