The brief outfit she wore, a robe of sorts, was obviously worn because of it’s simplicity to remove. She shivered slightly, heading towards the bed.
He was getting something in the other room. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it had seemed important to him.
She pulled the curtains of the bed back, opening it, standing there uncomfortably. She wasn’t sure whether she should wait for him or not. Uneasy, she shifted her weight. But he appeared a moment later, having freshly combed his hair. She hid a smile. His beauty was always so important to him.
She smoothed the pale pink fabric with her cold hands. She was a bit chilly, but once they were under the covers, she was sure she’d be warmer.
He moved toward, watching her seriously. “Houki…”
She raised her eyes to him, gazing at him. She did not have to pretend to love him. “Heika?” she asked quietly, remembering his correct form of address this time.
He reached out his arms, resting his warm hands on her shoulders. She shivered slightly.
He had never touched Nuriko like this. He had always stayed far away from the other seishi physically, much to his dismay. But now… now… he was touching him… even if it was a lie…
“Houki,” he said softly, “if I don’t come back, you know what to do. You’re pregnant, we know, and-“
She hugged him tightly suddenly, cutting off his words. “Don’t… please don’t…” She was trying to still the tears that were rising in her throat, fighting for control over this body.
He tangled a hand in her hair. “It’s all right… I’ll come back to you.”
No, you won’t, her heart wept silently, but she said nothing in reply. He would come back to Houki… not Nuriko.
He lightly kissed the top of her head. “Shall we?”
She nodded soundlessly, and he pulled away and walked to the other side of the bed. She watched him quietly, afraid for him. Nuriko had died while fighting for Miaka… would Hotohori die as well?
She continued to watch as he stripped off his shirt, hanging it on a post on the wall. He sat on the bed, then turned to her so that he was sitting cross-legged on it. She still stood there, feeling very alone and miserable. Guilt was pounding between her eyes. He reached out a hand to her, slowly, lithely.
“Hotohori-sama,” she whispered, but stepped forward and took it. She sat slowly on the bed, twisted to face him, feet on the floor.
He let go of her hand and rested on his side, a hand propping up his head. She was nearly entranced in his beauty. He was amazing. She wanted to reach out and touch the perfection that she had never thought she could ever attain like this. But it was not right.
Nuriko heard a light laugh in his head, not his own. Houki…? He could feel her there, but he controlled the body completely. Why was she laughing?
“I had another dream about Nuriko last night,” he said quietly, not meeting her eyes.
She started. He remembered the dreams? That wasn’t supposed to happen. Still a little startled, she nodded slowly, listening, moving so that she sat on the bed completely, feet resting effeminately beside her, not crossed.
“He was… touching my hair…” he said, still looking down. “He was so gentle… I didn’t know what to think.” He finally raised his eyes to her. “What do you think?”
She broke her gaze away. “I… I don’t know.” What was she supposed to say to that??
“I miss him very much,” he continued in the same strange, sad voice he had been using. “He was a lot like you in some ways… neither of you ever let me get too serious. You both always make me laugh.” She moved her eyes to him again, unable to keep them away for very long. He reached out a hand and stroked her cheek gently. “You even look somewhat alike.”
A question was bursting in her mind. “What… what would you do… if he were still alive?” she asked, daring only that.
He looked surprised. “I… well, I guess I’d still be his friend.” He gave her a small smile. “I think you would have liked him.”
Without thinking, the words forced themselves through her lips. “But he loved you, didn’t he?”
He looked surprised again. “I… well… yes, he did…” He paused a moment, puzzled. “Why?”
She lowered her eyes. “Did you ever love him?”
She could not see his reaction, but his voice was quiet and gentle. “Do you want to know the truth?”
She nodded nearly imperceptibly, but he saw.
He sighed quietly. “There are a lot of ifs, Houki… Had I not been emperor, had he not been a man…” He paused a long moment. “But that wasn’t your question.” Another pause, and his next words were nearly defiant. “Yes, I think some part of me loved him. Like he wanted me to. But I could never respond to that.”
She felt nothing at that moment. Emptiness.
He took her silence as hurt, reaching out for her hand. “But I love you. I always will.”
Empty. Dead. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. Why? Why did he have to be the emperor?
“Houki…” he said worriedly, tightening his hand around hers.
She raised her face, not bothering to hide the tears that had just sprung from her eyes. “Hotohori-sama,” she said quietly, fighting to control her voice. She moved her other hand to touch his cheek. “I love you,” she breathed, caressing his cheek lightly, touching what Nuriko could never dare touch.
He was watching her carefully, his brows lowered. She knew that she was acting strangely, but she didn’t care. Here and now was all that mattered. “I love you too,” he said softly, and she had to restrain herself from completely bursting into tears.
She leaned down, gently placing a kiss on his lips, tentatively. “Houki,” he murmured into her lips. She moved a bit so that she was lying on the bed as well, kissing him again, deeper.
His hand slid into her robe, resting lightly on her bare waist. She almost jumped. No one had ever touched her like that. She paused a moment. That was wrong. No one had ever touched Nuriko like that.
He tried to call Houki back, to step out of her body. This was her husband. He had gotten what he wanted.
Again, he heard the gentle laughter sounding somewhere inside his mind and realized with much consternation that she was not going to let him out of her body until he completed the task at hand.
Hotohori deepened the kiss, trailing his fingers along her stomach, moving his hand up slightly to cup her breast. Again, she nearly jumped. She didn’t know what she was doing!! This wasn’t even the right sex body! How would Nuriko know what to do with it?
She noted with some dismay, however, that the body seemed to know what it was doing. She felt her nipple harden under his ministrations, and shocked, broke off the kiss. He looked at her, confused, pulling his hand away. “Houki?”
They were both laying on their sides, so she moved closer to him, hugging him with slight difficulty, burying her face in his warm chest. She could nearly feel his desire. He was a young man, after all. Nuriko understood.
“Houki, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice gentle in her ear.
Her response was only to tighten her arms around him.
“Houki… please talk to me,” he said lowly, putting his arms around her.
“I don’t want this night to end…” she whispered into his chest, her eyes shut tightly. This was it. After this, Nuriko could never touch Hotohori again. He wouldn’t ask Houki for this again.
He was stroking her hair lightly. “Everything will be fine…” A tiny smile graced his lips. “I can think of a way to keep us both awake though…”
She pulled away, surprised. She had never heard Hotohori make such an insinuation before. Another blush spread across her cheeks like a faint pink cloud.
He was laughing quietly at her. “Houki, you look so shocked!”
She blinked. He was teasing her! For the first time that night, she smiled at him. “Playing cards would excite me more,” she said calmly, regally.
He blinked now, but then a slow smile slid across his face. “Oh, really?” He moved closer to her rather ungracefully, slipping an arm around her waist, this time on top of her clothes. “Shall I disprove that?”
She froze. Did she really want this? Was it right? Houki was letting him… She wanted him to… But should he?