| I always seem to be getting sent rude or saucy messages to my mobile phone, but I never have anything good to send back to people. Therefore, I've tracked these down from the internet and just wanted to share....(They all come within the 160 character limit if typed as they are shown below!) |
| THE JOY OF TEXT |
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| ONE2ONE regrets 2 inform U that the network has gone down on everyone except U. We regret 2 inform U that no one would go down on U,not even a network HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN, caress,excite,cuddle,fascinate,spoil,kiss,rub,tease,pamper,console, worship,respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN:blow job! When I was a girl, I had a little quim, I sat upon my bed & put a finger in.Now Im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get4 fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM !! CHINESE SUNDAY BUFFET MENU: *chu sum twat*suc mi pork*lick mi clit*tungsumchick*goo in hand*fuc sum now*gulp sum kum*cho kon it*ENJOY UR MEAL! I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving, tuesday, thursday,today,tomorrow,thaturday,thunday. Every thucking day! GOVERNMENT WARNING: Eating pussy is bad for your health coz its 5% urine,3% acidic,2% fat, and 90% addictive! EAT MODERATELY & ENJOY! XX Why is sex a 3 letter word? Its easier 2 spell than..OHMYGODYESNOOSHITYESDEEPER, YESGOONPLEASENOSHITYESOHSHITFUCKNOYES I asked god 4 a flower,he gave me a garden I asked god 4 a tree he gave me a forest I asked god for a cunt and he gave me this number Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation, aboy puts his location in a girls destination,do U get my explanation or do U wanna demonstration? Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just 4 fun or getting paid, everyone likes getting laid! I like your style, I like your class, but most of all I like your ass! LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and I'll blow the shit out of you! Do U like maths? If so, add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide ur legs & we can multiply! Roses are red, pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between! I want triplets, you want twins, lets get in bed & see who wins! roses r red,poems r corny,take me 2 bed cos Im feelin horny,when roses r red theyre ready 2b plucked,when I C U nxt, UR gonna get fucked There are 256 bones in your body! Would U like another? Roses are red, violets are corny, when I think of you babe it makes me so HORNY!! Of all the babes UR my selection,please dont giv me a rejection, my teeth are clean, 4 your inspection, so giv my mouth a tongue injection! Being a student is so much fun, wen U hav degrees in playin wiv tongues,if U B my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex! Mary had a little lamb,it's coat was full of fleas,and what's more the little cunt had foot and mouth disease Old mother hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone, but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own! Little jack horner satin his cornerlicking his girlfriend dry, he stuck in his tongue, licked out sum cum and said Fuck this is better than pie! Hickory dickory dock, dis bitch was suckin me cock, da clock struck 2 I dumped me goo& dropped her at da end of da block! Twinkle twinkle little rectum, big cocks cum when U least expect em, never mind d screams of passion,pop it up her doggy fashion. Mary had a little lamb, she kept it in da backyard, & wen she took her panties off his wooly dick got hard! Humpty dumpty fucked a fat whore,humpty dumpty spunked on da floor, & all the kings horses & all the kings men,bent da bitch over an fucked her again. Peter peter pumpkin eater, had a wife & tried to beat her, smacked her twice around da head, fucked her arse & went 2 bed. Jack&Jill went up da hill 2 fetch a pail of water, we dont no wot they did up there but they came back wiv a daughter Mary had a little lamb & tied it 2 a pylon, a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned it into nylon. Mary Mary quite contrary...trim that pussy, it's 2 damn hairy!! I'M @ THE POLICE STATION NOW, BEEN DONE 4 DRINK DRIVING. URINE SAMPLE WAS POSITIVE SO I NICKED THE SAMPLE. THEY R NOW DOIN ME FOR TAKIN THE PISS LAST NITE I LAY IN BED, LOOKING AT THE STARS, THE BEAUTIFUL SKY AND THE ENDLESS HORIZON...AND SUDDENLY I THOUGHT...WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ROOF? Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)NO ONE REALLY UNDERSTANDS DEM 2)ALL UR MISTAKES R STORED IN THEIR MEMORY 3)U FIND URSELF SPENDING ALL UR MONEY ON ACCESSORIES 4 DEM WEN I LOOK AT THE SUN I C U! WEN I LOOK AT THE MOON I C U! WEN I LOOK AT THE SEA I...WILL U GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY! PLS REMIND ME 2 REMIND U ABOUT REMINDIN ME 2 SEND U DIS REMINDER, OH DAT REMINDS ME, CAN U REMIND ME WHAT THE REMINDER WAS I'VE FORGOT SEX+DRUGS+ROCK+RAVE, LETS GET DRUNK & MISBEHAV, ON WEED+SPEED+LITTLE E'S WE'LL GET DRUNK & TALK 2 TREES, U ONLY LIVE ONCE & DEN U DIE, SO FUCK EM ALL & LETS GET HIGH! A LITTLE BOY GOES 2 HIS MUM & SAYS 'MUM HOW DO U SPELL CLITORIS?' SHE REPLIES GO & ASK UR DAD IT WAS ON THE TIP OF HIS TONGUE LAST NITE MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL, WHO'S THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL, THE MIRROR LAUGHED DEN MADE A GRUNT, IT SURE AIN'T U U UGLY CUNT THERE IS HOT SEX, FAST SEX, GROUP SEX, SAFE SEX, LEATHER SEX, TELEPHONE SEX & 4 PEOPLE WITH A FACE LIKE URS THERES....MASTURBATION THERES A TOWN IN HERTS CALLED TILET, & A PUB CALLED THE COCKWELL INN, LUCY LIKES LIVES THERE. HER ADDRESS IS LUCY LIKES THE COCKWELL INN TILET HERTS |
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