Affliction
by Thesseli
Colin Mochrie walked tiredly from the plane, squinting in the bright
sunlight
from behind his sunglasses. The flight
from
and had done nothing for his peace of mind.
He hefted the once-heavy carryon bag with ease.
He didn’t have much
luggage, having left most of his ‘taping’ clothes with Ryan, who would be
meeting him at the airport. He was a
little nervous about that. He hadn’t
seen Ryan since before…well, since Before.
He knew Ryan had been told what had happened to him while he was
gone, and he wondered how it would affect him.
He wondered if Ryan
would even be here to pick him up at all.
The thought bothered him. He
didn’t want to lose their friendship over something he’d had no control
over.
Control. That
was the most important thing right now.
He had to control
himself, or Ryan might vanish and never return.
He couldn’t bear the
thought of that, and he knew that now, it wouldn’t be something he could
just let go. Damn this thing anyway.
He hadn’t asked for this, hadn’t wanted it, would never have
wanted it in
a million years. He knew that
some people did, though, and if they ever
found out how it was spread they would be right there, trying to catch it.
“Colin!” He heard the excited cry;
turned, then saw Ryan waving at him.
He smiled in relief. He was afraid he
wouldn’t come.
Within seconds, Ryan was there, arms around him and greeting him as if
everything was totally normal. Colin was
thankful for that. He could
sense the tiniest bit of apprehension, but it was nothing like what he’d
feared. His own arms came up and wrapped
around Ryan, hugging him
closely.
“I missed you,” Ryan said warmly. The
apprehension was gone; Colin
could tell that he truly meant what he’d said.
“I missed you too,” he said back, relishing the closeness. Most people,
knowing what had happened to him, would not have been so free with
their contact.
After they broke apart, Ryan looked down from his greater height and
smiled challengingly. “So,
“Ryan…” he pleaded, lowering his voice.
Colin knew what he meant, and
he didn’t want everyone in
“It’s all right,
“A little thing like this?” he repeated incredulously.
“Nope,” he said, with another smile.
Again, Colin could tell that he meant
it, and a sensation of warm happiness coursed through him. Maybe Ryan
was right. Maybe this didn’t
matter. Maybe they would find a cure,
and
his life would go back to normal…
“So come on,
Colin sighed in resignation. Once Ryan
got something in his head, nothing
could distract him until he’d gotten what he wanted. He only hoped that Ryan
really wanted to see this. He supposed
he would see anyway, eventually.
Colin’s eyes darted from side to side, making sure that there was no-one
nearby. Nobody was.
Cautiously, he opened his mouth…revealing a set of fangs that would have
been more appropriate on some kind of creature of the night, and not a
tired Canadian with jet lag.
* * *
A
little embarrassed and feeling way too exposed, Colin quickly shut his mouth.
“Wow. Those *are* big,” said Ryan.
Colin
looked down. He didn’t want to tell Ryan
that *he* hadn’t wanted to see
them, after it first happened. He couldn’t bear to look at his own
reflection --
strange that they still had reflections, and
could walk in daylight, even if it did
hurt their eyes -- for some time afterwards. It was only the necessity of having
to go out in public and not wanting to look like a
bum that had led him back to
the mirror.
“So,
what’s it like?” Ryan asked, once they were in the car. The question was
casual, but behind it there was the curiosity that all
the people without it had.
They
all wanted to know.
Colin
turned to stare bleakly at his friend.
“What’s it like?” he said. “It’s
like
nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s horrible, Ryan. I feel…I feel like a monster.”
He
stopped then, not wanting to go on.
Ryan
turned to him, sympathy in his eyes. “Colin, no. You’re
the same man
you were before.
That hasn’t changed. The only
thing that’s different is that
you’re on a special type of diet now; lots of people
are on those.”
“Lots
of people don’t need to drink blood,” he said, his final words becoming
a whisper.
He turned away. He didn’t want
Ryan to see him like this, to see
him as he saw himself…
“Actually,
epidemic, but it’s definitely spreading.”
He
still looked away. “That’s assuming it’s
an infection -- that it’s a disease
that *can* be spread like the flu or the clap. The CDC doesn’t even know
that yet. They
don’t know if it’s airborne, or if it’s spread by casual contact,
or through bodily fluids…you can touch someone
with it and not get it, you can
have sex with someone with it and not get it; hell,
you can be bitten over and
over again and still not get it.” He’d cursed himself a thousand times for
going on
that damn commercial shoot, although he knew there
was the distinct possibility
that it had been incubating even before he’d left
how it was spread, or how long you could harbor it
before the symptoms
started, there was no way to determine when and
where he’d gotten it.
Ryan
spared a glance at him as he drove out of the parking lot. “Well, it starts
out with a rash, doesn’t it? And then a fever?”
He
nodded slowly, watching the scenery go by.
“And then it’s over. You’ve
changed, and you can’t do a damn thing about
it.”
Ryan
paused for a few seconds, as if gathering his thoughts…or perhaps his
courage to ask his next question. “How did it happen with you?” he finally
said.
Colin
closed his eyes, then opened them again. “It was the day that we
finished the shoot. We were having a little get-together
afterwards…I never
really thought about it, before then. It’s still so rare.”
“Mm.” Ryan nodded, eyes still on the road. Colin told himself firmly that it
was because he needed to watch where they were
going, and not because
his best friend didn’t want to look at him.
“One
of them was there, at the hotel bar.
That was the first time I’d ever
seen one. He
was real cocky, like he knew that nobody there could hurt him.
I
think he was a little drunk.”
“Drunk?”
Ryan asked. “You mean, like, he bit
somebody who’d been
drinking?”
Colin
smiled slightly. “No. We can still drink pretty much anything, and
alcohol has the same effect on us as it does on
you.” He winced. He hadn’t
meant it to sound so harsh at the end, but he felt
like now there was a wall
between him and everyone else that he knew,
everyone who wasn’t like this.
Us
and them, me and you, normal and…what?
Ryan
murmured something in understanding.
Colin couldn’t make out the
words, but the intent was clear. He relaxed a little.
“So
then someone from the technical crew made a comment about the guy…
he didn’t like what the guy was and didn’t care
who knew it.” Colin looked
straight ahead.
“He heard it -- he was meant to hear it -- and said something
back. Then
the tech said that…that we ought to just stake him then and there.
The
guy just laughed, like he knew something that we didn’t. And he did.
Turns
out…once you’ve got it, you can smell it on other people. You can
tell if someone’s got it, or is about to get it.”
“And
he could tell that about you?”
“About a bunch of people there. But from the shoot, only me.” He paused,
knowing what Ryan would inevitably ask
next. “And no, I can’t smell it on
you.
You
don’t have it.”
Ryan
looked a little embarrassed that Colin had anticipated his question.
“So
what happened next?”
Colin
rubbed his forehead. “Well, the guy left
after that. Later that night, a
couple of people there started noticing that they had
the rash. There was a
little bit of a panic, then. I remember not knowing what to think, and
wondering if I should get out of there and back to
my hotel room, when I
happened to look down at my arm…and I saw that I
had it too. I…I just
closed my eyes, because I knew what was going to
happen next. I wanted to
get away from there; I was afraid of what the other
people might do if they
knew. I went
outside to get some air, and I found some of the others who’d
just started showing signs. I guess we were all scared, even though none
of us
felt any different yet, mentally or physically.”
Ryan
considered his next words carefully.
“I’d heard that there were
personality changes, but I can’t see any difference
in you.”
“They’re
not exactly changes to the personality,” he replied softly. “Impulse
control, yes.
There’s an increase in aggressiveness -- although the CDC
facilitator wants us to refer to it as ‘assertiveness’.” He laughed hollowly.
“And
there’s a feeling of power. Not the sort
of power to make someone do
what you want…more like a feeling that you can do
anything. It’s kind of…
exhilarating, at first.” He paused, wondering if he should tell Ryan
the rest.
“And
there’s a strange sense of,” he paused again, searching for the right
words.
“Of
territoriality, I guess you’d call it. And possessiveness.
Especially about
objects we consider to be ours. You should have seen us in the hall,
Ryan.
We
each had our own little piece of the room that we’d claimed, while we
waited for the CDC people to get there.”
“You
say objects…do you mean people too? Are
you that way about people?”
Colin
frowned, wishing that Ryan hadn’t asked that.
“Yes. But again, not how
you would think.
Not jealousy, like if you thought your wife was sleeping with
someone else.
It’s very hard to describe.”
“Did
you have that early on, or did that come later?”
“That
was later. At first I was so scared that
I didn’t know what to do, so I
went back to my room and waited for what I knew
would be coming. I got
the fever a few hours later, and then it was
over.”
Ryan
raised his eyebrows. “It was that
fast? Even the physical stuff?”
Colin
nodded. “I could tell that my teeth had changed, and that I was stronger…
and that the backache I’d had was gone. I could also see without my contacts.
That’s
one good thing about this, Ryan. No more
sickness, no more degenerative
diseases like arthritis. Perfect health and total immunity. And all you have to do
is trade in your humanity for it.”
Ryan’s
face fell. “
somehow less human than you were before. You’ll always be the same to me.”
Another
rush of warmth went through him. He
didn’t think about what it meant.
* * *
“Where
is everybody?” Colin asked, as they pulled into the driveway at Ryan’s
house. He
always stayed with Ryan and his family while they were taping; it was
something he looked forward to. But theirs was the only car there.
Ryan
looked a little uncomfortable. “Pat took
the kids to her mother’s.”
Colin
tried to conceal the hurt that he felt.
He knew the real reason they weren’t
there, but he also knew that if the situation had
been reversed, he probably
would have done the same thing. He still didn’t know how Deb felt, or what
she’d told Luke about what had happened to his
father. When he’d last talked
to her on the phone she hadn’t said much. She definitely wouldn’t say the ‘v’
word. He had
the distinct impression that she was afraid.
“I’m
sorry, Col. She didn’t want the kids
asking you a bunch of questions and
bothering you the whole time you were here…she
figured you’d be more
comfortable without them around.” Ryan put an arm around Colin’s shoulders
briefly, then went to pick up his bag. “Christ,
thing? Bowling
balls?” he said, wincing and staggering forward.
“Just my stuff. And some supplies,” he answered
enigmatically, taking the bag
from his friend with one hand.
Ryan
stared in amazement, then led the way up to the front
door. “Supplies?”
he asked, a little too casually.
“Yeah. I didn’t
think you’d have anything that I could, um…eat…so I brought
my own. I
can get it anywhere, though. All I have
to do is walk into any
hospital -- or butcher shop -- and show them my medical card, and they give
me whatever I need.” As they walked in, Colin removed his
sunglasses. He
hated having to wear them outside. “I guess it’s so none of us have to take
what we need from an unwilling donor.”
Ryan
considered this. “Are there many willing
donors?”
Colin
shrugged. “Sure. Husbands, wives, girlfriends…if you don’t
mind
belonging to the person you’re donating to, they
say it can be all right.”
“Just ‘all right’?” Ryan asked, taking Colin’s
bag with two hands and heading
for the guest bedroom. Colin followed, his eyes adjusting easily to
the dim
lighting in the hallway. Ryan probably couldn’t even see where he was
going, until he flicked the switch on the wall.
“Well,
kind of nice, actually. Or so I’ve
heard…I haven’t exactly gotten
the chance to try it with Deb.” She probably wouldn’t let him, he was sure
of that.
And he wasn’t going to force her, even though the way he was now
he easily could.
It wouldn’t be right. If she didn’t
want him to touch her,
he wouldn’t.
“You
sound like she’s not taking this too well,” he observed, setting his
burden down beside the bed. He straightened up and rubbed his back.
“She’s
not. She doesn’t want to talk about
it. I think she’s glad that I’ll be
in
going to do…it’s hard enough having to go through
this without having to
do it alone.”
“Oh,
Colin, you’re never alone,” Ryan said, staring down at him intensely.
“Not
with me. I’ll always be here for you,
buddy.”
Surprisingly,
Colin found himself feeling better. He
smiled up at Ryan, glad
that he was here.
He didn’t care if the other man could see his teeth or not.
“Are
you hungry,
reminded him of his duties as host. “You want something to eat? It was a
long flight, after all.”
He
rolled his eyes, still smiling as he replied.
“It doesn’t take *that* long to
get here from
“*Any*
flight is too long for me,” the taller man stated emphatically. “Come
on, we’ll both have a bite…oops, that didn’t come
out right, did it...”
He
laughed. “It’s
fine, Ryan, really.”
“Come
on out, then.”
* * *
After
fishing out a container from his carryon bag and warming it a pot of
boiling water, Colin joined Ryan at the
table. Ryan himself was having a
sandwich, chips, and a Pepsi. Colin also helped himself to a soda, but
nothing solid.
He couldn’t. He’d tried early on,
but his stomach had
rebelled…violently. At least Ryan didn’t seem to mind watching
him eat.
In
fact, he seemed a little over-interested.
After
seeing Colin swallow the first few mouthfuls, Ryan gestured at the
packet. “What
is that?”
Colin
was confused. “You know what it is.”
“No,
I mean…is it human?”
“Oh. No, it isn’t.
This is from a butcher shop…it’s cow.”
Ryan
regarded him evenly. “But human tastes
better, doesn’t it.”
Colin
didn’t know quite how to respond. “How
did you know that?” he
asked neutrally.
“The
look on your face when you were talking about where you could get
blood. You
didn’t seem too enthused over the prospect of something that
wasn’t from a hospital.”
Colin
looked away. He ended up facing a
window, and the light made his
eyes sting. He
turned back, blinking the burning sensation away.
“I’m
sorry,
He
shook his head. “You didn’t. I guess I’m just being over-sensitive…
I
know what goes through my mind when I think about what I am, and I
assume that everyone else is thinking the same
thing.” He rubbed his eyes,
drawing his hands down his face. “God, Ryan, what am I going to do?”
“I
know it’s hard,
about other things, and keep working. Nobody can stop you from doing
that -- it’s illegal in both countries to
discriminate against people like you,
because it’s a medical condition. Keep doing the show…and all those
other ones you’ve got up in
“Some
of us just can’t be satisfied with only two TV shows,” Colin teased
gently. How did
Ryan always know how to make him feel better?
“And
how do you know so much about the legal aspects of
this? You don’t
know anyone else with it, do you?”
“Nope,”
he replied smugly. “But I’ve been doing
a little research. I
probably know more about it than you did, in the
beginning.”
“You’re
probably right,” he confessed. “Most of
us don’t know anything
until we actually get it. Jeez, one of the things the CDC people had to
do was
show us how to draw blood from a living donor. In such a way that they
would remain living, of course.”
“I
would’ve thought it would come naturally, once you’ve become a vampire.”
Colin
nearly winced at the sound of the actual word, the blatant declaration
of what he now was. He didn’t, though, and regained his composure
quickly.
“No,”
he said. He thought back to that day,
and what he’d been taught.
He’d
been picked for the demonstration, ostensibly because he was on TV
and he was used to performing in front of an
audience. He’d been feeling
that strange sort of aggressiveness, and power,
which had bled over into an
almost sexual sensation that he didn’t quite
understand. The CDC facilitator,
a woman who also had the disease, had called him
up to the front so they
could demonstrate the procedure. Still uncharacteristically assertive, he’d
practically sauntered up, and listened as she spoke
about the proper
technique for drawing the blood. Then she’d complimented him on his
teeth.
That
brought him back down to earth fast…he still hadn’t wanted to see
what they looked like, but at the woman’s words he
ran his tongue over
them, truly feeling them for the first time. A shiver ran down his spine.
The
woman had warned them about the emotional intensity of the act, and
told all of them that a willing, continuous donor
would most likely need to be
their partner.
Then she surprised the hell out of Colin by kissing him soundly.
It
was shockingly explicit, something Colin would never have agreed to do
in front of a group of people if he’d known what
it would entail. He wasn’t
sure what to do as the woman continued, the kissing
becoming hard and
almost painful because of her teeth, but he could feel
his excitement growing.
He’d
kissed back then, being nearly as rough as she had. She complimented
him again, and encouraged him to use the skills
he’d been learning that day.
Colin,
shocked, found his mouth moving eagerly to the side of her neck.
Almost
without realizing it, he bit down.
It
was incredible. The sexual intensity,
the aggressiveness and the sense of
power were all amplified by the first feeding, even
though -- because she
was one of them, not a normal human -- the extreme
possessiveness would
not be triggered.
And now, days later, these feelings had become almost
natural to him.
This was his problem. If it had
*only* been the need for
blood, that would have been almost manageable --
everyone had to eat, in
one way or another.
But the feelings that went along with it were too much.
He
was so afraid of losing control of himself, even though they’d assured all
of them that this was unlikely, so long as they
didn’t allow themselves to go
without eating for more than a few days. Maybe it was a good thing that
Deb
didn’t want to see him right now. He was
afraid of what he might do
if he actually had someone he could drink from
more than just once or twice.
That
would undoubtedly lead to the territoriality, the marking of the donor
as his, and his alone. He doubted that she would care for the
extreme
possessiveness it would engender in
him.
As
Colin heard himself telling this to his friend, he was surprised at how
easily Ryan had brought all this out of him. He hadn’t wanted to talk about
this part of it before, but now he found himself
speaking about it, and his own
fear, and his loneliness. He confessed that even in the hustle and
bustle of
he had never felt so completely alone as he did
now.
After
he’d finished, Ryan rose from his chair and came over to him. He knelt
down beside him, so that he was looking up into
Colin’s eyes. “Don’t you
remember what I said before,
alone? That I would always be here for you?” He caught Colin’s gaze and
held it, unwavering.
“Drink from me. So that you’ll never be alone again.”
* * *
Colin
squeezed his eyes shut, even as part of him leapt at the thought of doing what
Ryan
had suggested.
“Ryan, you don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I
know exactly what I’m asking.” He
reached up, taking one of Colin’s hands in his own.
“I
told you, I’ve been doing my homework. I
know what it means to give this to you.
I
want this.”
“But
you’ll…” He shook his head, but he
didn’t let go of Ryan’s hand. “If I do, the part
of me that’s changed will think you belong to
me. That you’re my
personal property. I’m
already feeling it, a little, just because of
our friendship. If I give that part of
myself any
encouragement, it won’t be possible
to convince it that you *don’t* belong to me.”
“I *already* belong to
you, Colin,” he said simply, rubbing the man’s hand with his thumb.
“I
always have. I would do anything for
you…and I want you to know how much you
mean to me.
Let me share this with you.”
Colin’s
grip tightened as he fought against the incredibly powerful urge that was
telling him
yes, to claim Ryan as his, and his forever. They’d known each other for over twenty
years;
Ryan
was his already, wasn’t he? That’s what
part of himself said.
Taking Ryan’s blood
would let them seal their friendship with something
stronger and more meaningful than any
contract, oath, or vow. But there was another part of this that Ryan
wouldn’t, *couldn’t*
want. He’d
already talked about it; he’d thought Ryan had understood. “Ryan,” he
whispered back, his breathing becoming more
rapid. “There’s the sex. Taking the blood
from a live person makes us go half crazy...” He shook his head again, struggling to
control
himself.
“You don’t want that—”
“Of
course I want it,” he stated, forcing Colin to look him in the eyes. “I’ve wanted it for
years. I’ve
wanted *you* for years. Don’t hold back;
I want you to take what you need.
Don’t
worry, I know
what I’m doing. Don’t be afraid. I love you.”
With
this declaration, Colin could no longer hold himself back. He had to admit that he’d
thought about it in the past, of what it might
be like if he and Ryan were lovers. He’d
always
dismissed it as too impractical to pursue. But now the warmth he’d always felt when he
was
with Ryan was red-hot, searing him through and
through. He’d caught hints of Ryan’s
true
feelings earlier, but hadn’t recognized them for
what they were; he’d assumed that it was
merely their friendship that was coming through in his
scent. Now he knew what it really
meant, and he was elated. With one last look into the other man’s eyes,
he surrendered to
the feelings inside him, pulling Ryan up and
kissing him passionately.
Ryan
moaned, wrapping his arms around Colin and drawing him even closer. Colin’s eyes
gleamed as he shifted his weight, then lifted
Ryan bodily and carried him from the kitchen to
the bedroom.
Ryan laughed in delight; Colin had picked him up before on stage, but
never
so easily and never for anything like this. He dropped Ryan onto the bed, then climbed
on and draped himself over the taller man, kissing
him again and again.
Ryan
squirmed underneath him, relishing the feeling of his friend’s mouth and hands
on his
body. He
stroked down Colin’s back, then gasped as his shirt was torn off as if it were
made of tissue paper. Colin tossed it aside and grinned, showing
his teeth. The sight
excited Ryan even more -- never before had he
been so at the mercy of anyone he’d
been with, and he loved it. He’d also never gotten so far, so fast. Colin’s own shirt went
next, then his pants, and then the rest of their
clothing. Ryan shivered as their bodies
finally met; no barriers, nothing between
them.
“Colin,”
he breathed, as the Canadian swooped down to claim his mouth once again.
A
hand made its way from Ryan’s shoulder to his chest, then to his abdomen, and
finally
began stroking him in a hard and fast rhythm. He felt overwhelmed by the sensations.
He
moaned again, feeling Colin’s mouth leave his and travel down, kissing from his
lips
to his jawline down onto his neck. Ryan tilted his head back, giving Colin
easier access
for whatever he wanted to do.
Colin
kissed and licked at Ryan’s neck, his tongue dancing over the skin until he
found the
spot he was looking for. He kissed it again, feeling the pulsing
underneath, then gently bit
down.
Ryan
moaned, almost sobbing in ecstasy as he came.
Dimly he was aware that Colin had
also come, even before he’d finished drinking. He held Colin close until he was done,
massaging his back, until Colin suddenly pulled
away. There was still blood on his lips
--
my blood, Ryan thought with a start -- but the
expression on Colin’s face took away any
misgivings he might have had. Not that he had any. There was fear in Colin’s eyes…
fear that he’d been too rough, or too fast, or that
he’d hurt Ryan. Ryan was quick to
reassure him, welcoming him back into his arms,
soothing him and letting him know that
he was all right.
Better than all right.
“I
love you, Ryan,” he whispered, holding the other man close. “I’m sorry I never told you
before…but I do.
I really do. No matter what else
might happen, I want you to know that.”
“I
know,
act replaced by understanding, and acknowledgement
of the love that had been between
them for years.
“I’m so sorry that it took something like this to bring us together, but
if it
had to happen…I’m glad you chose to be with
me.” He caressed Colin’s jaw, then
cupped
his cheek.
“You’re never alone, Colin.
Remember that.”
“Never
alone,” he repeated sleepily, snuggling closer.
Ryan wrapped an arm around him,
and in that position, content, they both drifted
off to sleep.
* * *
Ryan
woke first. He stretched, not wanting to
disturb Colin…after the emotional
turmoil he’d been going through, he certainly
could use the extra sleep. He looked
almost innocent as he slept, his eyelashes dark
against his pale skin...just like Ryan
had always imagined he would. Ryan gazed down at his friend affectionately,
then
carefully got out of the bed. He enjoyed watching his best friend sleep,
but he really
needed to use the bathroom.
He
padded across the bedroom carpet, trying to be as quiet as possible. Once he’d
taken care of business, he couldn’t help but look at
himself in the mirror. He was
surprised.
The place on his neck where Colin had drawn the blood had only two
very small puncture wounds to mark that anything out
of the ordinary had happened.
He
turned his head and ran a finger over the area carefully. There wasn’t even any
bruising.
Ryan
was touched at the gentleness Colin had demonstrated. From what he’d
learned, those teeth could have easily ripped
out his throat.
Afterwards,
he went back to the bed and slid under the covers. This did wake
Colin,
who blinked sleepily, then smiled.
“Hello.”
“Hello
yourself,” said Ryan, giving him a kiss on the nose.
“Mmm,”
purred the other man, nuzzling him.
“More?”
Ryan asked, tilting his head back invitingly.
Colin hadn’t taken much before;
he knew from his readings that those afflicted
didn’t actually need very much at a time,
provided the source was human. A little from him was worth a couple of pints
from
the butcher’s.
“No
thanks -- not hungry anymore,” he replied, burrowing closer.
“Then
how about some of this…” Ryan said, rubbing the other man’s lower abdomen
provocatively. “I know you like *this*.” He maneuvered them both so that Colin
was on his back, and prepared to steal another kiss
or two.
It
took Ryan a second to realize that Colin, although now fully awake, was no
longer
responding.
As this registered in his mind, Colin took a deep breath. “Ryan…” he
said hesitantly.
Something
in the tone of his voice made him pause.
He gazed down at his friend in
concern.
“What is it?”
Colin
stared at him, the dark eyes burning into his.
“Aren’t you forgetting about
something?”
“What?”
“What
about Pat?” he asked quietly. He looked
away briefly. “It’s not like we’re
going to be able to keep this from her, no matter how
long it takes for her to get
back. What’s
she going to think about all this, about you and me…”
Ryan
sat back up, frowning. He hadn’t wanted
to talk about this, but he supposed
that he had to, if only to put Colin’s mind at ease. Besides, Colin had shared a lot of
things with him that had been very hard for him to
talk about. “To tell you the truth,
things haven’t exactly been going well for us
lately. Nothing I could put my finger
on,
but…” his voice trailed off. “Sometimes I got the feeling she was just
staying with me
for the sake of the kids. Or for the money.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of
his voice.
Colin’s
face fell. “I’m sorry, Ryan. I had no idea.”
“Yeah,
well…” He tried to shrug it off, like it
didn’t matter…or maybe like he’d
expected it to happen even before it had. Colin moved closer to him and took
his hand, and Ryan smiled lopsidedly at him. “Hey, at least you won’t have to
share me now -- I know you guys can get a little
jealous if you think your turf’s
been invaded.”
“Not
so much with normal humans,” he assured him.
“Something about not seeing
them as a threat to our territory. Now, if she *also* had the disease…” His eyes
narrowed a bit.
“She doesn’t, does she? Have the
disease?”
Ryan
chuckled. “No,
“Oh. OK.”
Colin cleared his throat, as if he was feeling a little silly at his
reaction.
It
only boosted Ryan’s affection for him.
“So, um, what do you want to do now?”
“Well,
I thought we might go over some ideas for the production meeting on Friday,
then talk about wardrobe for the tapings coming up…
”
“Ryan…”
he scolded, making a face.
“All
right instead, I guess we could -- oh I don’t know -- go back to what we were
doing, maybe?
Would you like that?” he asked, leering suggestively at his friend.
If
he was going to keep Colin’s mind occupied, he might as well keep his body
occupied too.
It was only logical.
Colin
laughed. Ryan noted that it was the
first time since he’d arrived that he’d
looked truly happy.
“I would definitely like that.”
* * *
“What
are we going to do about Colin?”
Drew
peered up wearily at Brad Sherwood. Brad
had been pacing back and forth in
Drew’s office like a caged tiger. “Brad, we’ve been over this,” he said, trying
to sound as
reasonable as possible. “We’re not going to do anything.”
Brad
shook his head, coming to lean on Drew’s desk and loom over the seated man
behind it. “I
don’t see how you can be so blasé about this.
Don’t you know what Colin
*is*
now? Don’t you think it might be just a
little bit dangerous to have him—”
“To
have him *what*, Brad,” Drew spat, his patience nearing its end. “To have him
around here anymore?
To have him work on the show? To have him, and everyone like
him, running around loose? Maybe we should just lock them all up. Is that what you
want?”
“Drew,
I’m sorry, but I can’t help the way I feel.
Don’t you remember what happened up
in
the information they had on the disease? It’s a miracle that no-one was killed -- as
it was,
some of the people from the lab still ended up in
intensive care.”
Drew
couldn’t believe that Brad was comparing Colin to the thugs involved in that
incident.
“You’re forgetting that the leader of that little group happened to be a
former
gang member.
He was a violent man even before he got the disease. Do you really
think Colin’s going to be like that?”
Brad
exhaled sharply. “I don’t know,
Drew. I really don’t know. What about that girl in
Indiana,
who beat her ex-boyfriend nearly to death before she bit him? She wasn’t a
gang member.”
Drew
regarded him evenly. “The word was that
before she got the disease, he used to
beat *her*.”
Brad
resumed his pacing, but at a slower rate.
“We don’t know much about this thing,
Drew. We don’t know if the disease is confined to
certain areas, or if it’s going to keep
spreading, or even *how* it’s spread.”
“We
know that animals can’t get it,” Drew replied.
Brad
looked at him incredulously. “God, Drew,
what if *everyone* ends up with it?
What
if this becomes an epidemic that we can’t stop?”
Drew
didn’t say anything. He didn’t have an
answer for that one. “Casual contact
doesn’t spread it. Sexual contact doesn’t spread it. Are you afraid of working with
Colin? Because we can get someone else to take your
spot next month, if you’d rather
not be on.”
Brad
stopped dead. “Are you saying you’re
kicking me off the show?”
“No,
Brad, but if you’re not comfortable working with Colin, I don’t know what else
to
say. Do you
*want* to keep doing the show?”
Brad
looked down at his hands, then back at Drew.
“Yes, I want to stay on.”
Drew
stood up then, walking around the desk to stand beside Brad. “Look, Brad, I know
exactly how you feel. Hell, everything that you brought up has been
through my mind,
and Dan’s mind, and everyone’s mind since we found
out. But I’ve been talking to Ryan,
and he says it’s not going to be a problem. Colin’s back at his place, and he seems to be
doing a little better -- Ryan said he was so
depressed when he first came back that he
didn’t know what to do to bring him out of it. Depressed, Brad. Not violent, or
irrational, or out of control. *Depressed*.
He hates what’s happened to him, but Ryan
says he’s been dealing with it a little easier since
he came back to
helping him get through it, and I think he’s
doing better.”
When
Brad spoke again, there was a hint of concern in his voice for his old
friend. “So
Colin’s
feeling better now?”
“Yes,
he is. I don’t know what Ryan’s been
doing to cheer him up, but evidently it’s
been a big help.”
Brad
raised an eyebrow curiously as the wheels turned in his mind…
How
in the world do you cheer up a vampire?